Please Help Me Decide What To Do

[SunshineMama]

I used to care for a set of twins 1.5 years ago, and they left to go to preschool. Their mom asked me the other day, if I could watch them for the summer. My husband pressured me bc of the money, to say yes. BUT, I only said I could take them 2 days a week. (Those 2 days are the only days that I would have 1 other dck, and I was planning on actually getting to leave the house with my kids and dck and go to the zoo, etc). If I take these 2, I will be at maximum capacity.

When I watched the kids before, I hated my job, was always exhausted, under pressure. They didn't listen well, always fought with each other. The parents had the longest drop offs and pick ups. They will be turning 5 this summer, so they are older, but that means that they probably wont nap. I don't know what to do. They are THE family that, after I stopped watching their kids, I didn't hate my job. I just don't know what to do.

Should I take them?

I hate being pressured by my husband. If I took them the other days, I would be watching 9-10 kids in one day. The most I have ever watched is 7 and even though there would be 4 kids over age 6, it is still a lot of damage and destruction for my house, and a lot of work for me.

What would you do?

[llpa]

I feel like you answered your own question. They don't sound like they have a great track record and if they are older non nappers and still fighting etc. Then that's a really long day for you. I would either pass or give it a two week trial period and be up front with parent that you aren't sure about it. You don't have to say the real reason, you can make it about age or your schedule etc.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

7 kids, to me, is a VERY manageable number and feels relaxing and fun.
9-10 kids, to me, is much louder and a little more crazy. It is not as relaxing and fun.

Besides that, you said you hated your job when they were there. Are you willing to HATE your job for the entire summer??? Is that beneficial to your own family?

It sounds like you know what you want to do and need to do but your husband is pressuring you to do otherwise. I would tell him no and not accept them into care.

[craftymissbeth]

I wouldn't take them at all just based on the fact that they made you dislike your own business while you had them. I definitely wouldn't expect them to have changed either... their behavior won't have changed unless it was a big enough problem for the parents.

Last month I started feeling the burn out everyone here talks about. I termed my problem child (a screamer) and the next week all signs of burn out we're gone and I love my business again. I will never ever consider taking her again. In fact, I feel so bad for her new provider.

[SunshineMama]

I wouldn't take them at all just based on the fact that they made you dislike your own business while you had them. I definitely wouldn't expect them to have changed either... their behavior won't have changed unless it was a big enough problem for the parents.

Last month I started feeling the burn out everyone here talks about. I termed my problem child (a screamer) and the next week all signs of burn out we're gone and I love my business again. I will never ever consider taking her again. In fact, I feel so bad for her new provider.

Exactly! They are the family that left and the clouds parted and angels started to sing.

[Cat Herder]

Q. What would you do?

It would depend on WHY my husband was working against me. Is it a debt division thing (he thinks you are not pulling your weight?) or is he overspending and dumping a larger workload on you?

This is not really a daycare problem, it is a marriage problem, IMHO.

[Unregistered]

I would cut back any household expenses I could before taking them on.

Further talk with your husband with open communication on both parts is needed.

[Scribbles]

I used to care for a set of twins 1.5 years ago, and they left to go to preschool. Their mom asked me the other day, if I could watch them for the summer. My husband pressured me bc of the money, to say yes. BUT, I only said I could take them 2 days a week. (Those 2 days are the only days that I would have 1 other dck, and I was planning on actually getting to leave the house with my kids and dck and go to the zoo, etc). If I take these 2, I will be at maximum capacity.

When I watched the kids before, I hated my job, was always exhausted, under pressure. They didn't listen well, always fought with each other. The parents had the longest drop offs and pick ups. They will be turning 5 this summer, so they are older, but that means that they probably wont nap. I don't know what to do. They are THE family that, after I stopped watching their kids, I didn't hate my job. I just don't know what to do.

Should I take them?

I hate being pressured by my husband. If I took them the other days, I would be watching 9-10 kids in one day. The most I have ever watched is 7 and even though there would be 4 kids over age 6, it is still a lot of damage and destruction for my house, and a lot of work for me.

What would you do?

I also think you already know what you want to do. Sounds like it's your DH that will have to accept that its you that does this job. Easy for him to say to take on more kids when he isn't stuck at home all day with them.

Can I ask, what state are you in that you are allowed to have 9-10 kids in one day while being legally unlicensed?

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Exactly! They are the family that left and the clouds parted and angels started to sing.

I had this same feeling but about not taking SA anymore. It is still very hard to not pine the additional $2500/yr I could be making, but I guess that's what my sanity is worth, $2500!::

My DH, who is so supportive and everything wonderful, would like me to make the extra income, too, but he says he doesn't miss the bitching (from me) that comes with the SA.::

For you, I would advice a frank conversation with hubs, and not take back that monster duo!

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Can I ask, what state are you in that you are allowed to have 9-10 kids in one day while being legally unlicensed?

We can do that in NE. 2 have to be SA, and then of the other 8 only 2 can be babies instead of 3, for a max of 10 (including all own under age 8).

One summer, I had 14 kids plus me! 8 full-time mixed age (one was mine), plus 2 SA, plus 2 "helpers" (over age 13), plus my own 2 over age 8. It was so busy, but also pretty fun! I liked that summer.

[cheerfuldom]

Q. What would you do?

It would depend on WHY my husband was working against me. Is it a debt division thing (he thinks you are not pulling your weight?) or is he overspending and dumping a larger workload on you?

This is not really a daycare problem, it is a marriage problem, IMHO.

agree

[Crazy8]

I wouldn't take back a family like you are describing, no way!! But I agree that this is something more of a marriage issue than a daycare one. We all know the daycare answer to this question… but only you and your DH know the financial background to why he might push you to do this. Honestly, I have learned my sanity is worth more than the money often - but I probably would put up with it if it meant putting food on my table or I was really desperate for clients.

I have a SA family now, I don't usually take SA but they are a family I had for 10 years prior so I did it. I have decided its not worth the trouble, sure the extra money is nice but its not necessary for me to live so I am terming in June and not taking them back next year.

[Blackcat31]

We can do that in NE. 2 have to be SA, and then of the other 8 only 2 can be babies instead of 3, for a max of 10 (including all own under age 8).

One summer, I had 14 kids plus me! 8 full-time mixed age (one was mine), plus 2 SA, plus 2 "helpers" (over age 13), plus my own 2 over age 8. It was so busy, but also pretty fun! I liked that summer.

You can have that many kids without being licensed?

What's the point of getting licensed in your state then?

[spinnymarie]

I agree with everyone that NO I would not take them, AND if it is an issue of money, you can take some other kids instead.

[SunshineMama]

The money issue comes from him working a commission based job. He makes the majority of the money, so the more I make, the less pressure it takes off of him, which is honestly the bottom line about why he wants me to take on more kids.

I have told him in the past to just trust me (thanks to blackcats wisdom about a previous post), and he accepted that before. But I guess he forgot.

I already have 3, 5 and under of my own. I do 95% of the care around the clock for our kids, handle all of the household paperwork, and 95% of the household chores, and I do daycare. He makes more money, and he works hard while at work, and when he sees me at home, it seems like it's so easy. I don't think anyone will ever know how mundane daycare can be- it's not intellectually hard to have to clean up food off of the floor, change diapers, etc, but it is very mentally exhausting, and stressful. The stress of having to play referee with those 2 kids is too much.

And I already picked up 2 extra part timers over the summer.

To answer the question of the post about numbers:

We can watch 6, if they are under 6. Over 6, it does not matter. I would have several kids over 6, so I would still be able to operate. BUT, like I said, I don't want that many!