I Have A Weird Feeling About Prospective DCM But I Am Not Sure Why...

[TaylorTots]

I have a DCM that interviewed for her son (7y) for a SA summer spot (son didn't come, she didn't want him to meet people before she screened). I would like to fill 1-2 spots for summer - but it's not a financial neccessity. She wanted full time, emails me after prefers part time - wants him at his old providers Mondays and Fridays. :confused: Ok...I can work with that.

Asked good questions at the interview, but very sheltered. Kind of skittish, but well put together. Emails the day after, requesting care and asking for references, I send them to her. Email also asks for my DOB so she can run a court search on me. I know she is making very logical requests and I am glad she is being thorough, etc. I have my registration posted on the wall. You have to have background check yearly. Not sure if she just didn't know?

I am getting a undertoned "you work for me" feeling from our conversations or maybe just super protective/sheltered/not sure about finding new care for her only child? They are stopping by . next week so I can meet the son. I cleared it with my other parents to do during childcare hours as I have all summer SA kids next week and I'd like to see how this child interacts with the other children considering DCM so far. I also want to see what DCM does while her 7 year old is playing. Is she talking to me or constantly watching him or trying to parent the other children, etc.

I've never encountered a school age parent that gave me a RUN feeling before...but this is pretty close. Tempted to email her and cancel the visit and say the spot has been filled, etc. Has anyone ever had a DCP give you a weird vibe at interview? Did you sign them on? How did it go?

[Childminder]

Go with your gut. Any time I have taken on a kid that I had a "feeling" about I regretted. I would do the meet and greet to make certain I felt the same but would tell her that I was interviewing others and that I will notify her with in a week after I find the best fit for my program.

[TwinKristi]

Yeah go with your gut. If you don't "need" this spot and she has another provider anyway, just cancel. It will just save everyone time.

[Second Home]

Definately go with your gut feeling .

[daycare]

let me just jump in and say go with your gut. Perhaps if you have the space now why don't you offer a trial run to see how it goes. Have the kid swing by after school next week M-W-F for an hour or so. this may help make a decision and then if you don't want to enroll you still have time to find another family.

Or if you have a two week trial, you could always go that route.

One thing that I will say, is that i once had a child enrolled that went to me mwf and then his old provider t-th. Worst kid I ever had.

kid would say well as miss K house we can do that. Or your house has too many rules, I don't like it here. Or would break a rule and then so OH I forgot, we can only do that at miss k house...................

just one thing to think about.

[Blackcat31]

If she currently has daycare, why is she looking for new care?

Also why wouldn't she just use her other daycare T, W and Th too instead of just M and F?

Personally, I would never take a family using two different daycares if I had the availability to take the child all 5 days.

Makes it too easy for the parent to play each provider's rules/policies off of one another.

I also vote listen to your gut instincts. 99.9% of the time, they are right.

[Luna]

Guts know what they're talking about. Listen to them.

[crazydaycarelady]

It makes me wonder also why she just doesn't go to the other place everyday. Taking a child to two different places when they have the option of just one place seems odd to me.

I think the "you work for me" kind of clients are the worst!

[KidGrind]

Believes the original provider cannot provide care T,W,Th. Which would explain the need for you.

I’d go with your gut.

I’d also would not lie and say I filled the spot. I would say, “I’m interviewing several other families needing full-time over the next several weeks. I’ll contact you if I decide to offer your son the spot.”

[TaylorTots]

Warning - this is long. LOL




I am full now, the after school drop in won't work.

I do have a two week trial.

According to mom, the other provider had M-F openings last summer from a teacher's child. That teacher is working Tues/Wed this summer so she has MThF open for him... and apparently mom wants him there M&F so she have a spot with the provider and can use her as backup when we go on our vacation. She said in the most recent email that she was ok bringing him here full time. The PT situation doesn't bother me as much as the weird feeling I get from mom - my PT rate is very comparable to my FT rate and I am not losing much income at all...just working less Good point about son/mom using other DCP policies against me though

Next week is Spring Break, I have all my SA'ers here and most will be here over the summer. I offered mom to stop in with him to see how he does with the other SA'ers. She wants to swing by while we are at the park playing - I don't like that. I don't feel I would get a good picture of how he can interact in my in-home setting while he is running around the park.

Anyway, the most recent email was odd to me. She apologized for seeming untrusting and gave me a ton of information about their family (like their dog's name their last 10 years of job history etc), reviewed the obvious fact that she was an older parent and this is her only child - in an effort to "explain" her "over-protectiveness" as she called it in the email. She also states her son is very high energy - but her version of high energy and mine could be different (she was very very very reserved in the interview, even DH commented it was a little off). If you can listen and follow directions then high energy is perfectly fine.

Regardless, her history does not dictate why she should have any real distrust for CCPs. Just reaffirms she is untrusting and overprotective by her own admission (and doesn't acknowledge that it is an issue or misplaced in the email).



Anyway, I am left with 2 options as I see it:

1) Go with gut feeling that mom is going to make my life more stressful in the long run...Reply in email that "Unfortunately, trust is a staple of childcare and without it I am not comfortable providing care for your child. Although I am unable to meet your childcare needs at this time, I hope you are able to find a provider that does. [insert childcare resource & referral phone number here]"

OR

2) Wait and meet the child.. Reply in email that "Every family is unique in terms of their childcare needs and experiences. I look forward to meeting your son to see if I will be able to meet both your and his needs for childcare. I do have other families interviewing as well. I will be able to make a final decision whether the spot belongs to your son by the end of Spring Break."


I'm just still a little on the fence about it. Definitely leaning to the #1 option side though. My gut has been right to date - like I have a current DCD that is overprotective and drives me nuts. Thank goodness I really only deal with him through DCM who does 99% of pick ups/drop offs.

*sigh* I know this spot will fill easily as I come closer to summer with an easy going kiddo, why am I stressing over this so much?!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I vote no.

[renodeb]

Yes I have had that feeling, I signed them any ways and termed weeks later. My advice to you is Run!!!!!!!!!. Your first instinct is usually the right one. High energy hah? hhhhhmmmm....