Just Ticked off a DCM

[BumbleBee]

Her 2.5 yo was kicking off at pick up (not listening, starting to tantrum) and baby brother was in his carseat ready to go. I told her to take the baby to the car & I'd bring the 2.5 yo out when he calmed down.

Mom turned to the 2.5 yo and goes "honey please stop crying so we can go home." He screamed in her face. She took the baby to the car then came back in, grabbed the 2.5 yo, and shut the door. He was still screaming/crying.

Their next day is Thurs. We shall see what happens.

[grandmom]

Don't worry about it. She likely is embarrassed that you can get the kid calmed down, and she can't.

I wouldn't offer to keep the kid while she's buckling in the baby. Let her take them both.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would feel embarrassed for her!

[CraftyMom]

She probably wasn't upset with you. I'm sure she was upset with dcb and just wanted to get out of there

[TwinKristi]

I agree, I don't think she's mad at you, she probably just wants to go home and him acting like that was taking longer than it should have.

[lovemykidstoo]

I thought I wrote this haha. I have a dcm that picks up a just 3 yr old and baby in carseat and the 3 yr old throw fit about something every time. Today she said, let's put your coat on and he screamed in her face NO! Several times. Then stomped his feet. So, she says well it's not bad out today, you don't have to wear your coat. Thought, yup, that worked. Guess what he'll do tomorrow because it worked today. Oh it was about 41 degrees.

Why do these moms put up with that? I would have grabbed him and put his darn coat on and said, let's go NOW!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I thought I wrote this haha. I have a dcm that picks up a just 3 yr old and baby in carseat and the 3 yr old throw fit about something every time. Today she said, let's put your coat on and he screamed in her face NO! Several times. Then stomped his feet. So, she says well it's not bad out today, you don't have to wear your coat. Thought, yup, that worked. Guess what he'll do tomorrow because it worked today. Oh it was about 41 degrees.

Why do these moms put up with that? I would have grabbed him and put his darn coat on and said, let's go NOW!

I always wonder the same thing. I have a Dad that is a repeat offender in this area...I call it wimpy parenting and it is embarrassing to witness. Sometimes I can't hide my surprise.

[TaylorTots]

I have been there as a parent and a provider.

As a parent, I was utterly embarassed that my child was behaving that way.
As a provider, I was embarassed for the parents and asked if this was a common behavior as I never saw it from their child, etc.

:hug: Thursday will be fine.

[sahm1225]

I agree she was probably so embarrassed.

I've been on the provider & parent side of it. As a provider, I typicall attempt to help or completely walk away (my dc kids tend to stop when no one is looking).

As a parent - I was shopping at target w my then 3 year old and 1 year old (not walking). My 3 year old had to go potty and then decoded she wasn't going to wear shoes anymore. In a stinky dirty bathroom, she removed her shoes! I calmly and very nicely asked her to put them on. Even attempted to reason w her in order to avoid a scene. Didn't work and she went into full tantrum mode. It was horrible! As we walked out of the bathroom, Employees & customers were staring at her yell 'I'm not putting my shoes on!' At the top of her lungs. So I did what any reasonable person would do and found my super strength to Grab her like a sack of potatoes in one arm & my 1 year old in the other (and somewhere in there was my super heavy diaper bag).

I

[nannyde]

I don't think she was embarrassed. I think she didn't like you not wanting to host his behavior. Giving her the option to leave him until he calmed down meant she couldn't stand there and snuggle and love him up while he acted up.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I don't think she was embarrassed. I think she didn't like you not wanting to host his behavior. Giving her the option to leave him until he calmed down meant she couldn't stand there and snuggle and love him up while he acted up.

Do you ever bluntly say something to them when you do NOT want to host bad behavior or would that make one a naughty provider to the parents? ::

[lovemykidstoo]

I agree she was probably so embarrassed.

I've been on the provider & parent side of it. As a provider, I typicall attempt to help or completely walk away (my dc kids tend to stop when no one is looking).

As a parent - I was shopping at target w my then 3 year old and 1 year old (not walking). My 3 year old had to go potty and then decoded she wasn't going to wear shoes anymore. In a stinky dirty bathroom, she removed her shoes! I calmly and very nicely asked her to put them on. Even attempted to reason w her in order to avoid a scene. Didn't work and she went into full tantrum mode. It was horrible! As we walked out of the bathroom, Employees & customers were staring at her yell 'I'm not putting my shoes on!' At the top of her lungs. So I did what any reasonable person would do and found my super strength to Grab her like a sack of potatoes in one arm & my 1 year old in the other (and somewhere in there was my super heavy diaper bag).

I

I'm sorry but this made me crack up just envisioning it! Just thinking of her screaming she's not putting her shoes on and you scooping her up :: We've all been there for sure. My kids were not perfect, but day after day after day of the same behavior at pickup gets old. Especially when as soon as the child starts stomping and yelling the parent immediately gives in. Sometimes the fight goes on for a bit too and I'm thinking, ya know what? I've had him all day, put the dang coat on him and go home! I've heard enough! So if dcm was mad, too bad!

[TaylorTots]

I don't think she was embarrassed. I think she didn't like you not wanting to host his behavior. Giving her the option to leave him until he calmed down meant she couldn't stand there and snuggle and love him up while he acted up.

Interesting take on it. I guess we'll need a Thursday update ::

[KidGrind]

I don't think she was embarrassed. I think she didn't like you not wanting to host his behavior. Giving her the option to leave him until he calmed down meant she couldn't stand there and snuggle and love him up while he acted up.

Thank you! Your advice NannyDe has really inspired me to be firm about drop offs. Last month, I had a new DCK. Clung to DCD like a wild monkey and screamed, 10 minute drop off.

I thought, “Oh H*LL no!”

Next morning, I greeted them. I said, “Dad I know he is your baby. I have things to do. He will adjust. I am taking him now. Sign him in and I need you to exit.”

The DCD looked . I took the boy and said, “Bye Daddy!” for him. I walked upstairs; took off boy’s coat & shoes; told him "Daddy has to go to work and he’ll be back after nap." Boy stopped crying within a minute. Dad still downstairs listening. 5 minutes later, I hear the ‘door open’ chime from my alarm system. I chuckle to myself. I literally thought of you in that moment.

Without your advice, I think I would’ve allow the drop off drama to continue. Instead, I nipped it in the bud. Fourth drop off not a tear and second week he was seating quietly on 1st step to have his coat and shoes removed like a pro. He says, “Bye Daddy!"

[BumbleBee]

I don't think she was embarrassed. I think she didn't like you not wanting to host his behavior. Giving her the option to leave him until he calmed down meant she couldn't stand there and snuggle and love him up while he acted up.

Yup. Given her actions I'd say you're spot on. We shall see tomorrow.