DCK Strips When Upset

[Blackcat31]

True. I've tried putting him time out... he runs, I put him back, he runs, I put him back... over and over. The time out ends up being more of a struggle than the stripping.

I feel so lost

Do you have a super play yard? A separate area (verses a time out spot)

Right now, he is getting a TON of attention for stripping. Sounds like it's a lot of fun for him. YOU have to figure out a way to make it not fun.

NOT like a punishment, but more of a "look how much fun the other kids are having! Don't you wish you could have fun too?" type of motivator....

Make him WANT to stay dressed...kwim?

[craftymissbeth]

I do have a super yard.. Ill try it on Friday when they're here next. Today he would NOT lay down for nap and kept running off. I finally just put him in a PNP but he climbs out. I finally calmed him down by making him a glass of water and he laid right down and went to sleep.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I do have a super yard.. Ill try it on Friday when they're here next. Today he would NOT lay down for nap and kept running off. I finally just put him in a PNP but he climbs out. I finally calmed him down by making him a glass of water and he laid right down and went to sleep.

He is three!!! I am saying that in total shock not at you but with you. Holy cow. You need to have Mom and Dad help you get him to a point of actually being able to follow directions.

I have had children as young as 21 months start here who do fine on a cot. I had one, at one point, who would get up if you went potty and he was still awake (2.5, developmentally behind due to bad foster care) but that was it. I can't imagine a 3-year-old being that crazy on a cot. How stressful!

[blandino]

Oh please send him to me. I love kids like this. He sounds brilliant.

Backwards footed pajamas, cease potty training, and a declaration of war would be phase one. happyface

Nan, I love this.

I have one who is just starting to try out voicing her opinion when she doesn't like what is going on. The other day at lunch, we were on trip 3 back and forth from her pack-and-play to the table, and my assistant asked "Do you want me to take over ?", I said "Are you kidding me, I can't wait to show her how it works".

[craftymissbeth]

He is three!!! I am saying that in total shock not at you but with you. Holy cow. You need to have Mom and Dad help you get him to a point of actually being able to follow directions.

I have had children as young as 21 months start here who do fine on a cot. I had one, at one point, who would get up if you went potty and he was still awake (2.5, developmentally behind due to bad foster care) but that was it. I can't imagine a 3-year-old being that crazy on a cot. How stressful!

My 21 mo dcg looks at him like he has three heads while she lays on her mat. And actually she's normally very well behaved but new dcb has her acting out. AND my other 3 yo with behavior issues is actually behaving very very well ::

I'm going to talk to mom today. Not sure what to say though.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

My 21 mo dcg looks at him like he has three heads while she lays on her mat. And actually she's normally very well behaved but new dcb has her acting out. AND my other 3 yo with behavior issues is actually behaving very very well ::

I'm going to talk to mom today. Not sure what to say though.

I have found that the crazy pants mcgee daycare kids usually behave better when there's a new crazy pants mcgee in care. :: It makes it nice that they are behaving (AND it shows you that they CAN!), but sadly they are replaced by another.

Print off a developmental checklist for him (one that shows the areas he is struggling in) and check off what he has mastered. Give to mom. I would also talk with her about what your expectations for the kids are in your care and what you are currently working on with him. "If you could please work on Jack following directions at home as well that would greatly benefit him."

[craftymissbeth]

I have found that the crazy pants mcgee daycare kids usually behave better when there's a new crazy pants mcgee in care. :: It makes it nice that they are behaving (AND it shows you that they CAN!), but sadly they are replaced by another.

:: very true

[cheerfuldom]

Normally I would agree with BC .....

but I would NOT do timeouts in any form for this. Allowing an un-potty trained child to sit naked in the room? First of all, I would not want to clean up accidents. Second of all, I can't imagine that most parents would be happy about a child being required to sit naked.....I know I would be livid if this is how a provider wanted to address the situation.

I would redress child in clothing that they can not strip off and go about our day. That is not extra attention. That is one minute to redress and then the struggle is over for the day, no timeouts, no accidents, no nothing.

To address BCs question, I think this would be teaching him that I am one step ahead of him at all times Stripping down does not work here! I don't see it as a temporary cure, I see it as a permanent solution. I would require the footed jammies for one week and then give him a day in regular clothes, back to jammies if need be. They make light weight cotton that he can wear for summer and you can put shoes over the feet and send him outside in that. I had one child wear this for 6 months but yes, this permanently "cured" the issue. Works great for diaper diggers too.

[Blackcat31]

I'm going to talk to mom today. Not sure what to say though.

Ask her what their strategies are for getting him to comply at home.

Do they just give in or do they know what his "currency" is?

The parents really should be the ones working the hardest to fix this...he can't be stripping his clothes off when he gets to Kindy.... ::

It honestly sounds like he is just a stubborn little guy who thinks he gets a say in the matter and when life doesn't go according to his plan, he does what he can to control it....which is stripping.

It's funny but it is also outright defiance. kwim?

He needs to know that taking his clothes off is actually MORE work/trouble/hassle for him than it is for you (or mom/dad). Right now it's only the adults in his life that are stressing about this...he certainly isn't.

..and we all know what Dr Phil says about that....

"People will only change their behavior when it becomes an issue for THEM".

That is why I said you need to find his currency. Him getting undressed bothers the adults in is life and HE has figured that out...you just have to be one step ahead of him and figure out what motivates him to change his behavior.

[Blackcat31]

Normally I would agree with BC .....

but I would NOT do timeouts in any form for this. Allowing an un-potty trained child to sit naked in the room? First of all, I would not want to clean up accidents. Second of all, I can't imagine that most parents would be happy about a child being required to sit naked.....I know I would be livid if this is how a provider wanted to address the situation.

I would redress child in clothing that they can not strip off and go about our day. That is not extra attention. That is one minute to redress and then the struggle is over for the day, no timeouts, no accidents, no nothing.

That is why I suggested the play yard or separate area.

But as far as the nakedness...meh....we're a daycare with little kids....everyone has seen everything. Plus it isn't forever.

I am not a school, I am not a public place. I would normally never allow anyone to be naked al willy nilly but in this case....the nakedness CAN NOT be a factor in the power struggle because as long as it is, that will be the DCB's method of control.

...and I refuse to give that kind of power to a kid.

[craftymissbeth]

His parents do TO for stripping. I told her he has a place to calm down but he has to have clothes on. I am NOT struggling with a 3 yo to put their clothes back on... And it's NOT a one minute thing :: when I say he's stubborn I mean he's bordering into ODD territory.

[Blackcat31]

His parents do TO for stripping. I told her he has a place to calm down but he has to have clothes on. I am NOT struggling with a 3 yo to put their clothes back on... And it's NOT a one minute thing :: when I say he's stubborn I mean he's bordering into ODD territory.

THAT was my kid. (my own son)

That's why I am here. I had NO plans of being a child care provider, but when your own child is that stubborn and difficult, no one in their right mind would keep him so I had to.

I did a ton of research into motivators and learned that finding one's motivator is THE key to pretty much all their issues.

My kid would be given a choice. Pick up your toys or I will throw them away.

His response : "throw them away" and then would proceed to help me throw them in the garbage can.

He was that kind of a kid.

[daycare]

so if you get him to keep his clothing on, how do you stop the tantrum? The tantrum is still going to happen with out without clothing,

You did not get to the bottom of the cause.

what is causing this child to act this way? Is he scared? Is he hungry?

We can all agree to disagree, but I don't think its appropriate to just make clothing not accessible on a child at this age and ignore that they are lasing out for a reason. They are old enough to make conversation and understand. Regardless of their speech ability. Unless their is some mental delay, I just don't understand why you would not take the time to get to the root of the mater by teaching the child how to cope appropriately when they feel.

I want to edit to add that you need to help this child with a strategy. Help this child learn what to do when they feel frustrated, angry, sad, or upset. Provde him with simple strategies to help him regulate his emotions. Make him come to you when he is upset and help him define how he is feeling and help calm him down or give him words to say. Children want to be heard too. Not just stripped of their emotions. Plan ahead, be proactive. stop it before it starts.

[craftymissbeth]

so if you get him to keep his clothing on, how do you stop the tantrum? The tantrum is still going to happen with out without clothing,

You did not get to the bottom of the cause.

what is causing this child to act this way? Is he scared? Is he hungry?

We can all agree to disagree, but I don't think its appropriate to just make clothing not accessible on a child at this age and ignore that they are lasing out for a reason. They are old enough to make conversation and understand. Regardless of their speech ability. Unless their is some mental delay, I just don't understand why you would not take the time to get to the root of the mater by teaching the child how to cope appropriately when they feel.

I want to edit to add that you need to help this child with a strategy. Help this child learn what to do when they feel frustrated, angry, sad, or upset. Provde him with simple strategies to help him regulate his emotions. Make him come to you when he is upset and help him define how he is feeling and help calm him down or give him words to say. Children want to be heard too. Not just stripped of their emotions. Plan ahead, be proactive. stop it before it starts.

I don't know if you missed it but today was only his second day here. I haven't had much time to figure him out so that I CAN help him. If I didn't want to help him I'd call it quits already.

The pajamas prevented him from taking off his clothing which actually stopped the tantrums in their track... or at least all of them other than nap time. I provide a safe place for them to go when they're angry where they can be alone and calm down.

I'm not sure why you think I just want him to stop feeling emotions. I don't. Mom and I talked today and I told her what he feels is perfectly fine but he needs help finding appropriate ways to express himself. Getting naked is NOT the appropriate solution to anger.

[daycare]

I did see that you said that it was better today, but then you said:

True. I've tried putting him time out... he runs, I put him back, he runs, I put him back... over and over. The time out ends up being more of a struggle than the stripping.

I feel so lost

It just seemed like everyone was quick to say put on the backwards PJ and leave it. The kid still tried to take those off? Why did he try to do that? Obviously he is upset about something. 2nd day there, I bet he is scared out of his mind and does not know the appropriate way to respond with how he is feeling. Not saying that you are not helping validate his feelings, I was saying that I think it would help if you talked with the child and help him define how he is feeling when he does that and show/give him strategies that he can use when he is feeling that way. every new relationship is built on trust and communication, I would just tried to show him this so he knows that I am here to help and protect him. I am sure that you are trying to do that too..

I am sorry if you took it as an attack, I didn't mean it in that way.