Does It Offend You When...

[melilley]

Or when this same child "suddenly knows how to write her name"! Uhh, no. She's been doing that for six months now! I just smile and say "Yeah, we practice every day in PRESCHOOL". ::

Uhh.....love when that happens..

[dalman]

I dont think you should take it personally. A LOT of parents want the comfort and status of an official preschool with the structure, center feel, the actual building with the name on it. Sure they usually want their child to learn but most parents want something more. They like getting a little backpack, seeing their baby head off to preschool like a big kid, the activities and number of children and school feel of an actual preschool.

You can't provide that nor am I saying you should. Just keep in mind that the preschool thing is rarely about just learning, its more about the parents getting the experience.....not even so much about the kids.

This generation really seems to fall prey to this mentality. They want their child to go to "preschool" because they see it as a separate milestone that comes complete with pictures and a graduation to kindergarten ceremony. I have two parents with this same mindset, even though I have been recognized as an honorary teacher at the University of Rochester. They recognize what I do here with their children, but they want the school setting a couple of times a week.

I used to feel very offended, but now I look at it as a break from their kids a few hours a week. They still pay the full time rate and have to deal with transportation issues. I tested one of the children last week and he has fallen behind in some of his skills because he is missing our preschool two times a week. I let the mom know so she could work with him at home. But it also let her know that the "preschool" really isn't doing much in the way of teaching. I tell the parents its nothing more than a two hour daycare inside of the school building.

Parents are going to do what parents are going to do.

[Imagination's Creations]

This generation really seems to fall prey to this mentality. They want their child to go to "preschool" because they see it as a separate milestone that comes complete with pictures and a graduation to kindergarten ceremony. I have two parents with this same mindset, even though I have been recognized as an honorary teacher at the University of Rochester. They recognize what I do here with their children, but they want the school setting a couple of times a week.

I used to feel very offended, but now I look at it as a break from their kids a few hours a week. They still pay the full time rate and have to deal with transportation issues. I tested one of the children last week and he has fallen behind in some of his skills because he is missing our preschool two times a week. I let the mom know so she could work with him at home. But it also let her know that the "preschool" really isn't doing much in the way of teaching. I tell the parents its nothing more than a two hour daycare inside of the school building.

Parents are going to do what parents are going to do.

Yes! I also told her I will not transport. My daughter starts kindergarten in the fall as well, and her school drop off and pick ups are all Im going to do. She may pull when I dont give her another break on my rate, but if she does, so be it. Ill be sad to see her go, but Im done short changing myself (Already gave them a hefty break on rate when they lost their subsidy and started paying cash) No more miss pushover daycare lady! I may love all these kids, but the bottom line is this is my job! I ultimately do this to provide for my family. Not to toot my horn, but I feel like Im worth every penny of my weekly rate, if not more! Oh well. I guess Ill see what happens!

[KSDC]

It doesn't bother me - but I think pre-school is different for my little town.

I live in a very tiny rural town. (Only about 20-30 per grade in the entire town.) The pre-school is in our little grade school. Most children go, but it is only for a couple of hours during the day, 4 days a week and I absolutely LOVE the teacher and her program.

My 3-5's all go. But, their parents still pay me for the full-time slot. And, they are not gone for that long, so I still get to do my pre-school program here too.

The public transportation van even comes and takes them to and from so that I don't have to do the transport.

And, my favorite part is that the oldest children go during naptime! So, I don't have to continually redirect my non-nappers to quiet activities during quiet time! happyface

[Imagination's Creations]

It doesn't bother me - but I think pre-school is different for my little town.

I live in a very tiny rural town. (Only about 20-30 per grade in the entire town.) The pre-school is in our little grade school. Most children go, but it is only for a couple of hours during the day, 4 days a week and I absolutely LOVE the teacher and her program.

My 3-5's all go. But, their parents still pay me for the full-time slot. And, they are not gone for that long, so I still get to do my pre-school program here too.

The public transportation van even comes and takes them to and from so that I don't have to do the transport.

And, my favorite part is that the oldest children go during naptime! So, I don't have to continually redirect my non-nappers to quiet activities during quiet time! happyface

happyface Perfect for you!

[Shell]

THAT is the problem.

WE (providers) put that much into our relationship with a child/family and everything we do with them (the kids) but fail to remember that families don't invest that much into us...kwim?

That is why we (providers) are the ones left with hurt feelings when parents want to send their kids to preschool.

It doesn't really have anything to do with us personally from a parents' perspective. We just take it personal.

Hope that makes sense.

Yes, it offends me tremendously that kids leave my program for preschool. It's probably because I was a Preschool/Kindergarten teacher for decades, and have a degree plus experience teaching. But, there really is nothing I can do to stop it.
The other part that is rough for me is that once one goes off to the land of preschool, the other parents start thinking theirs should go, too, and then I worry for days about how I am going to fill their spots, and then the 3 year olds think about leaving because there are only 2 year olds here, and on and on.
I have taught my kids here all the things you mention, and I know they get a better education here (social, cognitive, etc),. but I can't stop parents from feeling their kids aren't getting enough since I don't have lots of kids here. My teacher mom has said over and over that she has no plans on moving dcg before K- it's like those of us in the field understand preschool isn't always necessary, but others feel they have to.

[daycare]

yup It happens here often. I am going through an issue right now that parents pulled their older child for private preschool academy and is now trying to put their kid back into my preschool program because the childs learning regressed while at the other school.

I was a little hurt, because as BC said we put our all into this, parents see us as a service like they see jiffy lube. Ok most do. They don't think twice about our feelings, or anything else for that matter. They will also do what they feel is best for their children.

AND as provider, I want what is best for the child/parent. So if they feel they are better off else where, then please go find it.

[Crazy8]

I'm not offended because by that time, I'm ready for them to leave

same here! I don't really teach preschool so I wouldn't be offended at all and I actually encourage them to go to at least one year of preschool before kindy but I've had a few who have stayed and I really prefer my 3 and under group!!

[cheerfuldom]

THAT is the problem.

WE (providers) put that much into our relationship with a child/family and everything we do with them (the kids) but fail to remember that families don't invest that much into us...kwim?

That is why we (providers) are the ones left with hurt feelings when parents want to send their kids to preschool.

It doesn't really have anything to do with us personally from a parents' perspective. We just take it personal.

Hope that makes sense.

Yes that is what I was trying to say in my post. It normally isn't about the provider. It is about what the parents want, what they want to experience, what they feel like they are receiving.

they don't know (and frankly, some dont even care) how much time you are putting into creating curriculum, activities, money spent on supplies. They have no idea about any of that part.

[ashleyh]

I don't get offended. Places like head start and programs can offer a lot more in an educational environment than I can.

[nannyde]

I realized about five years ago that it was useless to try to circumvent this now cultural norm. I think it's important to really look at what services you offer to try to get parents to keep their child in care until age five. If it isn't working stop offering it. If the kids are going to a center regardless of the educational program you offer then rethink offering any. Have confidence the parents will give them everything they need and stay out of it. If you enjoy schooling them then carry on but if it is work that doesn't retain kids then rethink it.

There's a lot of value in being a babysitter. It's a lot less work and the end game is the same whether you do schooling or not. It's not personal. It's business.

[Shell]

I realized about five years ago that it was useless to try to circumvent this now cultural norm. I think it's important to really look at what services you offer to try to get parents to keep their child in care until age five. If it isn't working stop offering it. If the kids are going to a center regardless of the educational program you offer then rethink offering any. Have confidence the parents will give them everything they need and stay out of it. If you enjoy schooling them then carry on but if it is work that doesn't retain kids then rethink it.

There's a lot of value in being a babysitter. It's a lot less work and the end game is the same whether you do schooling or not. It's not personal. It's business.

This is a great point.

[Imagination's Creations]

I realized about five years ago that it was useless to try to circumvent this now cultural norm. I think it's important to really look at what services you offer to try to get parents to keep their child in care until age five. If it isn't working stop offering it. If the kids are going to a center regardless of the educational program you offer then rethink offering any. Have confidence the parents will give them everything they need and stay out of it. If you enjoy schooling them then carry on but if it is work that doesn't retain kids then rethink it.

There's a lot of value in being a babysitter. It's a lot less work and the end game is the same whether you do schooling or not. It's not personal. It's business.

True. This is the first family that has left to go to a traditional preschool. They family all works for the district, so that may be why. Who knows!

[Starburst]

Well at the daycare I used to work at she had a dedicated daycare area (in addition to the rest of her house) and had lots of preschoolers enrolled. I was once at the bank cashing my check and over heard a grandmother telling the banker that her daughter was interested in enrolling the granddaughter to my boss's preschool; she has been in business for over 30 years and has a very good reputation in that city. I do however remember one family that enrolled both their children into a church preschool down the street 3-5 days a week for a few hours a day but that was only because they worked for the catholic private school district and they got free preschool there, and it helped them reduce their daycare bill (she charges one of the highest rates in town).

[jenn]

Most in my area leave at age 3 or 4 to go to preschool. It's just the thing to do, KWIM?

Since this has become the norm, I have quit stressing myself out preparing activities that aren't going to convince the parents to stay anyway.

I am not a preschool. I am a daycare. I do work with the kids on colors, shapes, numbers, letters,...whatever academics they are ready for, but we do it through play. I offer a home away from home where we learn social and life skills. We play.

I think you have to find the right fit for you and for the needs of your area.