Is This Realistic? Re: Maternity Leave

[SilverSabre25]

When DD was born 3 years ago, I could barely handle being on my own with her when DH went back to work after one week. I was exhausted (lost a TON of blood), very sore, and we were having a huge amount of trouble learning how to breastfeed.

Now with this baby, I'm pretty sure things are going to be very different in the labor and delivery (I know more now and can stand up for myself, but still) and in the breastfeeding department (again, I know how!).

BUT--I'm still having trouble with my decision for what to do after this baby is born. Baby is due Memorial Day. DH is going to be able to take two full weeks off (with pay!) after the birth. I have in my handbook that I can take up to 4 weeks of maternity leave unpaid--but I don't think I can do this: we can't afford it. And I don't think I'll need 4 weeks off, plus I'm leery of getting into a routine with DD and the baby and then having it change when I go back to working.

So I was thinking of taking one full week off after the birth (as one of my two weeks of paid vacation) and then having the kids come back during the second week my DH is home--that way, we start getting into the habit of (baby+daycare) and me balancing nursing a newborn and doing daycare things. Then, the third week, it'll be all me. I might be able to get my mom to come help during the third week for part of the day--we don't know what she'll be doing at that point so it's not a given.

Does this sound realistic? Obviously, if I have a C-Section or there's some other kind of complication, I'll have to change the plan. But for a normal, uncomplicated vaginal birth of a second child, is likely to work out okay?

[momofboys]

When DD was born 3 years ago, I could barely handle being on my own with her when DH went back to work after one week. I was exhausted (lost a TON of blood), very sore, and we were having a huge amount of trouble learning how to breastfeed.

Now with this baby, I'm pretty sure things are going to be very different in the labor and delivery (I know more now and can stand up for myself, but still) and in the breastfeeding department (again, I know how!).

BUT--I'm still having trouble with my decision for what to do after this baby is born. Baby is due Memorial Day. DH is going to be able to take two full weeks off (with pay!) after the birth. I have in my handbook that I can take up to 4 weeks of maternity leave unpaid--but I don't think I can do this: we can't afford it. And I don't think I'll need 4 weeks off, plus I'm leery of getting into a routine with DD and the baby and then having it change when I go back to working.

So I was thinking of taking one full week off after the birth (as one of my two weeks of paid vacation) and then having the kids come back during the second week my DH is home--that way, we start getting into the habit of (baby+daycare) and me balancing nursing a newborn and doing daycare things. Then, the third week, it'll be all me. I might be able to get my mom to come help during the third week for part of the day--we don't know what she'll be doing at that point so it's not a given.

Does this sound realistic? Obviously, if I have a C-Section or there's some other kind of complication, I'll have to change the plan. But for a normal, uncomplicated vaginal birth of a second child, is likely to work out okay?

I think it is realistic & I think having your mom assist for the 3rd week is a good plan. You may well feel very overwhelmed. One thing my DH did after I had my 2nd child was he tried to maximize his days off by going into work for 1/2 days after had taken off 1 1/2 weeks of being home with me all day & he scheduled his time at work so he was home during my busiest times. He went to work from 9:45-1:30 (he only works 7 1/2 hr days) that way he was here to help with breakfast & getting kids off to school. Then he was home in the middle of naptimes so he could help when kids got off the school bus. Yes, I had to handle lunch on my own but it was manageable & I was able to rest more in the mornings as he took over with morning duties. He did the 1/2 days for about 1 1/2 more weeks so ut really helped me & then it didn't drain his time-off bank. Not sure if that is an option for your DH but it certainly helped me.

[kitkat]

I think it's do-able, but it also depends on the ages of your dck. I would definitely try to have a family member there it at all possible when the kids come back...even if it's just to have them take care of the baby. I liked Janarae's idea. If you can't arrange for someone to help, you could gradually start families back in a staggered way. That way it's not everyone at one time. You still get some income, but won't feel so overwhelmed.

[missnikki]

I agree wth the help thing. Is there someone you can get to help, or hire temporarily?

[actaktmdt]

We really cant afford for me to to be closed for long in March at all when DS is due. Plus I am terrified of closing for even two weeks and then re-opening in and having gone from full to empty or to a single child (the bulk of my daycare, is a family of 3 kiddos)

This is the plan currently.
I will close the day of the c-section which at this point should be anytime between March 14-18, though we are hoping that the c-section will be on the 17th. So the 17-21 I will be closed which is just an extended weekend for the kids. My husband is trying to find out if he will be elligable for the two week paid leave, If he is then the kidds will return the 22 and he will care for them and I will have the baby to myself and do what I need to do with him. April 4 my HS friend will most likely come in and help for most of april as she has the month off from her Nanny job. My mom and MIL might come and each help for a week.

I have it in my contract that I get two weeks unpaid vacation and I am trying to save that for a trip in june/july to MO for our family xmas thats held in the summer with extended family.

[Gurdy]

When DD was born 3 years ago, I could barely handle being on my own with her when DH went back to work after one week. I was exhausted (lost a TON of blood), very sore, and we were having a huge amount of trouble learning how to breastfeed.

Now with this baby, I'm pretty sure things are going to be very different in the labor and delivery (I know more now and can stand up for myself, but still) and in the breastfeeding department (again, I know how!).

BUT--I'm still having trouble with my decision for what to do after this baby is born. Baby is due Memorial Day. DH is going to be able to take two full weeks off (with pay!) after the birth. I have in my handbook that I can take up to 4 weeks of maternity leave unpaid--but I don't think I can do this: we can't afford it. And I don't think I'll need 4 weeks off, plus I'm leery of getting into a routine with DD and the baby and then having it change when I go back to working.

So I was thinking of taking one full week off after the birth (as one of my two weeks of paid vacation) and then having the kids come back during the second week my DH is home--that way, we start getting into the habit of (baby+daycare) and me balancing nursing a newborn and doing daycare things. Then, the third week, it'll be all me. I might be able to get my mom to come help during the third week for part of the day--we don't know what she'll be doing at that point so it's not a given.

Does this sound realistic? Obviously, if I have a C-Section or there's some other kind of complication, I'll have to change the plan. But for a normal, uncomplicated vaginal birth of a second child, is likely to work out okay?

You might think about having your dh work the first week (when your closed) and take his two weeks off for weeks 2&3(when your open). That will give you a little more time with full time help. Then, for week 4 if your mom can help part time that would be great. By week 5 you will have more of a routine down and (hopefully) be getting a little more sleep at night so that you can handle it all on your own.

[SilverSabre25]

Thanks for the thoughts everyone!

Unfortunately, we won't know until May if my mom will be available for helping. My sisters would ordinarily be choices, but one has three kids who will be off school and the other will have just had a baby of her own ~5 weeks prior to me. I'm not sure there's anyone else I could get to help.

janarae, I wish my DH had that flexibility! He does work a split shift (he's home in the afternoon and works morning and evening) right now, and might still when the baby is born, but we are hoping to get a normal schedule before then. It might not happen though.

Gurdy, I wish I could do that...but unfortunately, DH's work both won't allow that and it wouldn't be practical for us because someone will need to be with my DD while I'm in the hospital--being on my own that first week is a no-go.

Sleep shouldn't be much of an issue--we breastfeed and co-sleep, and even if baby doesn't figure out how to nurse while co-sleeping for awhile, I've been known to get plenty of sleep in the rocking chair!

[skittles]

Hi !
I have just went through this only I did not have a c-section. My little one was suppose to be born on 8/31/10 but he delivered 9/8/10. I had to close early because I had prolonged labor and was in so much pain I could not work. My plan was to close for two weeks, hire a sub for four, and start back myself at six weeks. Here I am at 8 weeks old and I went back at three weeks also (myself). I have some things going for me though, although I delivered a 10lb boy (third and last one), I was feeling great at one week. Plus my little guy sleeps through the night since he was born (what a treat!!). I am a nursing mom as well and it may take time out from daycare but it is doable. I cover up with a blanket and we watch cartoons or read a book, sometimes we are outside ect. You will be tired at the end of the day for a few weeks but it is working so far for us. My husband takes over with all the boys at night, and I sleep a lot on the weekend but we make it work. The economy is so bad and daycare providers don't really get six week paid leave (unless you are lucky). Forces us to stay open so I feel for you. Hope this helps. If you are on your own have people send you meals if they can or help out with cleaning ectt. Congratss on your little one.
-CF