Calm Me Down!!!

[TGT09]

Someone tell me I'm not over reacting because I'm about to blow my top!

Last week while my husband and I were at our fostering class, 8 yo dcg called me from her mother's cell phone 4 times in a row! They practically live in our backyard so I have all things rolling through my mind and decide that I should excuse myself (during class) to go call her back. Dcg then proceeds to tell me that she left a toy at my house! I flipped out! Told her to stop calling me, that it was not important and that I was in class. I literally fumed the entire class but by the next morning I was OK to let it go. Stupid, I know!

TODAY, 8 yo dcg calls to tell me her mom is putting her on the bus because she doesn't want her standing outside by herself! SAME dcm told me last year that she could do this because I had a 9 month old. I now have an 8 month old with a cold, it's only happening 2 days a week and I am sitting in the house watching her!

I am livid! A. I am with her every day that I don't have the baby and B. She previously TOLD me to do this!

SECOND, do NOT make your child do your dirty work and do NOT let her keep calling me!

I e-mailed her already this morning and told dcg calling was going to have to stop and dcm was going to have to have ALL communication and please explain why the bus thing is no longer ok.

[Lilbutterflie]

It may not be that dcm is telling dcg to call you, it might just be nosy little dcg wants to rat out her mom about the bus! I don't know, either way it's inappropriate.

So, if dcm is now putting her daughter on the bus herself, is that really such a bad thing? Less work for you, right? Just a thought.

Does dcm fully understand that you are watching dcg from inside your house? Maybe she needs to be reassured that she is in NO way in any danger.

[TGT09]

It may not be that dcm is telling dcg to call you, it might just be nosy little dcg wants to rat out her mom about the bus! I don't know, either way it's inappropriate.

So, if dcm is now putting her daughter on the bus herself, is that really such a bad thing? Less work for you, right? Just a thought.

Does dcm fully understand that you are watching dcg from inside your house? Maybe she needs to be reassured that she is in NO way in any danger.

That's the thing, she got on the bus by herself for a good portion of last year. Not to mention, she said my mom wanted me to call you to tell you that. AHHHHHH! I have had so many problems with this mom trying to find loop holes in my contract and handbook. She then blantantly does things that she KNOWS are stated in my handbook to not do!

The bigger problem is I wasn't suppose to have this dcg at all this year because mom was going back and forth between putting her on the bus. She doesn't get on the bus until 7:50 and mom drops her off anywhere between 7:15-7:35 (which is annoying in itself).

[Lilbutterflie]

Yeah, that's pretty annoying. So inappropriate to have her daughter communicate for her.

[missnikki]

I would just tell her that with the recent abuse of phone priveledges, I will no longer be accepting any phone call requests from her. All requests need to be in an email, and will be responded to within 24 hours.
I am in a pissy mood today. That would have set me off too.

[laundrymom]

I am with Missjikki on the crappy mood today, ..Im fairly certain I would have responded with ,.. ok, thanks for calling, let your mom know I understand and fully support her, then hang directly up. if she calls back,... . I would just let the phone ring, go to voicemail and return the call after the girl is at school if needed... as far as her calling you during class,.. I would have called back too,.. then asked for MOM and said,.. sally do you realize that I am in my class for fostering? That you interrupted my class with a call because you couldnt tell her NO about a toy?You know this is important to me,.. I hope you understand how disappointed in you I am. I will talk to YOU in the morning. Dont let her call again. I would have hung up,... NOTHING is more important than YOUR family,... and your fosters are YOUR family. everything else is secondary! =-)

[Lucy]

If you were in a class when it was inappropriate to be using a cell phone, I would've had it on silent and left it in my purse. People can't bother you unless you allow them to bother you.

[TGT09]

If you were in a class when it was inappropriate to be using a cell phone, I would've had it on silent and left it in my purse. People can't bother you unless you allow them to bother you.

It was on silent and it was in my purse. I can hear it vibrating regardless. Like I said, the child practically lives in my backyard so I had 900 things running through my head, starting with that my house was on fire. Our class was on sexual abuse so I was already jumpy.

ETA: When someone is calling me 4 times in a row, all kinds of things can go through your head.

[SimpleMom]

Take a deep breath...you are right to be upset for the lack of boundaries with this family. It would upset me,too. Set some boundaries up and stick to them. Don't allow them to take advantage of you. If you feel it's inappropryate, it's inappropriate.