Would This Be Overstepping Boundaries (Re: Pacifier)

[drseuss]

I have a dcg 2.5 whose parents let her do anything and everything she wants, including chewing on a paci all day long. When she comes to my house, she knows that she can only have it at nap time so she puts it right into her bag. Well, now she is starting to chew holes in it and I am an inch away from telling her mom that she can no longer have it when she is here and that she should not bring it in. Is this thinking out of line?

This parent has been having 'lack of parenting' issues for some time now. Drop off and pick up times are getting ridiculous. The dcm does whatever she has to to keep her dd from having a fit. She just doesn't want to hear her cry, so she is not putting her foot down on anything. Frustrating! I'm really getting ready to start opening my mouth but am afraid that dcm won't like it if I do, and pull out.

[Scout]

Nope, safety issue now. I have thrown out pacis before for that same reason and did not feel bad one bit. I would not let my own child chew one and I won't let dck's either.

[NoMoreJuice!]

Pacifier

I had a two year old boy start last summer with a chronic pacifier habit...his parents claimed they "couldn't" get it away from him!! One of their main reasons for starting at my dc was to help the boy learn to talk. The first week he was in my house with that pacifier, I had him hand it to his me as soon as him mom left. The next week I had him hand it to HER. She was annoyed, but I explained that a) that silly thing is covering his mouth, inhibiting any language practice he could be doing, and b) it's a major choking hazard! The nipple was hanging on by a thread!

She was fine with the boy handing it to her every day for about two months, and then all of a sudden, I never saw it again.

[daycarediva]

I wouldn't care what they did at home. I WOULD control how it affects your house.

"dcm, since dcg has begun chewing holes in her paci, it is no longer safe for her to have it as she could choke. Please keep the paci at home. Thank you for understanding."

If pick ups are an issue "Dcm, send me a text when you are on your way and I will be happy to get dcg ready to go." Then you can hand her the child and close the door.

I've had both conversations. I have several families texting me to get their child ready before they arrive now. We pass them off and wave. No more 10 minute scream fests in my house.

[Heidi]

Nope, safety issue now. I have thrown out pacis before for that same reason and did not feel bad one bit. I would not let my own child chew one and I won't let dck's either.

DCM...Just so you are aware, dcg's pacifiers are now a safety issue, as she is chewing holes in them. So, effective immediately, she can no longer have them at daycare. Of course, I'm not telling you what to do at home, BUT, it would make it a lot easier on her if we both just make them disappear at the same time. I just don't want either of us to walk in on a horrifying situation if she chokes!



BTW...my own daughter, now 16, had them only for naps around her second bday. I was cool about it and planning on trading them for a Barbie or something until I found her in bed with the WHOLE pacifier crammed in her mouth (awake one morning). BYE BYE BINKY!

[lovemykidstoo]

You are definitely not out of line. Happened here not more than 6 months ago. Have a dcb that mom came in in the morning and told me that he's chewing holes in his pacifier. I said right there and then to her, "well, then he's not having them here from this moment on". She just looked at me like my head fell off. I told her, there is no way that he's going to choke on that here and if he's biting pieces of rubber off and they're in his mouth, he will choke. He was 2 at the time and only had them at naps anyway. He still had it at home for months after that.

[Blackcat31]

Same as Daycarediva... I don't care what they do at home.

I care what effects things at my house when it comes to paci's and security blankets etc.

The kids get them at nap/rest time ONLY.

Any other time the blanket or paci stays in their baskets.

I won't wean anyone. They can have a paci until the day they age out for all I care. As long as it is only used at nap time here.

[daycare_jen]

I think it is ok to tell dcp that you can't allow the paci if she is chewing holes in it. It could possibly be a choking hazard with any pieces that are chewed off.

I dealt with this last year with a dck.He was also 2.5. He only got the paci for naptime and started chewing holes in it. It was kept at my house in his cubby, they had a paci for him that they kept at home. The first time he chewed holes in it, I handed it to the dcm and said he has started chewing on it. She sent a new one and he did the same. She sent a new one in. Finally, I told dcm and dcb if he chewed on it, I would put it back in his cubby. So we went through a few rounds of this and then I decided that I was no longer offering the paci to him. I did not announce to dcm that it was staying in the cubby and dcb did not ask for paci. So, it stayed in his cubby for quite a while and then eventually was sent home with his extra clothing as we were transitioning to seasonally appropriate clothes. Dcm never mentioned it.

[spud912]

I do what I deem necessary in my home. I no longer ask or even tell in some instances because I've had parents upset that I transitioned their child to something. As of right now, I wean children of bottles between 11 and 12 months to sippy cups. I put children into booster seats instead of high chairs around age 18 months. I give them open milk cups around age 2. I transition children from cribs to cots between ages 18 months and 2 years. I wean children of pacifiers around age 2. Sometimes I don't even mention that I do these transitions until after they are done.

[drseuss]

Thanks for the advice! Sounds like my gut was telling me the correct answer here.

[mia]

I would say the same safety ...

I have a 2 year old who has speech issues does not talk... moms been taking him to speech, but every morning comes in with his paci and blanket... he does not get it here at all and has not gotten it here for close to a year and mom and dad knows this yet they still bring it every day and give it to him every night at pick up time....

Ive in the same boat on should I say something or not.... for I have already told them many times that he does not get them here at all....