Is This Normal Behavior For This Age Or Is This A Red Flag?

[WImom]

I have a 3y old DCG that does some things that I've not seen before. Atleast not all in the same child..She turned 3 in Nov. and is an only child, my child care is her first daycare and she started in October. These are examples I've observed this week. Sorry this is long...

*Will repeat the same thing over and over when asking a question. I've been telling her once and then saying I already told you. It has been two months of this. I have told her I will only answer 1 time and then I will ignore her.

*She will tell me someone is here when no one is. Or ask where another child is and they are standing right next to her. She will ask where her mom or dad is everyday. I just say "You know where they are" and she will tell me.

*If another child is upset she will say "HI_____" and say it a few times. The kids get so mad when she does this. She will also sometimes just say "Hi ______" randomly to kids. We have been working on just saying hi when they come in the morning. It's annoying and the other kids get annoyed by it.

*She will be playing with another child and will just start yelling at them things like "I don't want you to play", Give me that dog back (there is no dog), etc.

*She says no all the time. It's like she doesn't even think about it, it's just her response. Yes and No were mixed up but that seems to happen less now. I ignore the No since sometimes she will say it but go along with what I told her. Otherwise I will say "I didn't ask you a question, no is not an option"

It seems like she just randomly says things she hears and gets stuck on a phrase. Will tell a child she likes their haircut for a whole week because someone else told them that one day. Or will tell me she likes my shirt everyday for a week because she told me once and I said thanks. Or I will say "Thank you" to her for something like giving me her cup and she will say "Thanks for being quiet". We were not talking about being quiet.

She gets very angry and screams when someone doesn't give her a toy she wants or she doesn't get to do what she wants.

Is this all normal and she is just doing them all at once or could there be something going on?

[preschoolteacher]

I personally think it's normal. Is she a young 3 year old, or a 3 year old who was a little slow to begin talking? I have seen all of these things in kids who are learning about language, learning to talk. I have seen many of these things in the same 2.5 year old. I think they are just exploring/imitating and trying to understand phrases, when we say certain things, how we say them, and so forth.

[WImom]

She talks really good and turned 3 in November so I'd say she is still a newer 3year old. I've seen it too just not all at once so I think that's where I wasn't sure.

thanks for the input!

[ihop]

I have a 3y old DCG that does some things that I've not seen before. Atleast not all in the same child..She turned 3 in Nov. and is an only child, my child care is her first daycare and she started in October. These are examples I've observed this week. Sorry this is long...

*Will repeat the same thing over and over when asking a question. I've been telling her once and then saying I already told you. It has been two months of this. I have told her I will only answer 1 time and then I will ignore her.

*She will tell me someone is here when no one is. Or ask where another child is and they are standing right next to her. She will ask where her mom or dad is everyday. I just say "You know where they are" and she will tell me.

*If another child is upset she will say "HI_____" and say it a few times. The kids get so mad when she does this. She will also sometimes just say "Hi ______" randomly to kids. We have been working on just saying hi when they come in the morning. It's annoying and the other kids get annoyed by it.

*She will be playing with another child and will just start yelling at them things like "I don't want you to play", Give me that dog back (there is no dog), etc.

*She says no all the time. It's like she doesn't even think about it, it's just her response. Yes and No were mixed up but that seems to happen less now. I ignore the No since sometimes she will say it but go along with what I told her. Otherwise I will say "I didn't ask you a question, no is not an option"

It seems like she just randomly says things she hears and gets stuck on a phrase. Will tell a child she likes their haircut for a whole week because someone else told them that one day. Or will tell me she likes my shirt everyday for a week because she told me once and I said thanks. Or I will say "Thank you" to her for something like giving me her cup and she will say "Thanks for being quiet". We were not talking about being quiet.

She gets very angry and screams when someone doesn't give her a toy she wants or she doesn't get to do what she wants.

Is this all normal and she is just doing them all at once or could there be something going on?

I have that child. I find in my case it is all for attention. She wants someone to step in and correct her like there is no dog, or its not quiet time. Its all for the attention. The more I ignore it and don't even give a response, the better it gets.

[nannyde]

What kind of screen life does she have?

[NoMoreJuice!]

Same here!

I have one standing right here next to me and it sounds like you just described her! Sounds like normal stuff to me. It's frustrating, but it has gotten WAY better the last few months since I started ignoring the repetitiveness. She still gets plenty of attention, just not when she demands it by exhibiting the behaviors.

(PS, she was a super late talker, but she was also going through a crazy parental divorce during her early threes, so she's lagging a bit in the speech development. Making huge strides though now!)

On a side note, I got a huge mirror for $30 at Big Lots to solve a tattling situation, but it turns out it was way more beneficial for her! Anytime she was repeating for attention, I asked her to go have a conversation with the mirror. Boy, did she annoy herself! It has all but stopped completely.

[cheerfuldom]

I am curious what her life was like before your daycare. I have had children like this before and either they watched A LOT of TV or really had no social interactions at all before. I had a 2 year old here that had never been in her own backyard, per mom! I have had a 4 year old that spent all days indoors watching TV with her special needs/non verbal older brother. I would observe for now and consider recommending early intervention evaluations. I would NEVER use any words like special needs or anything even close to a diagnosis, but i would make sure all parents know of early intervention options in your town.

[ihop]

I am curious what her life was like before your daycare. I have had children like this before and either they watched A LOT of TV or really had no social interactions at all before. I had a 2 year old here that had never been in her own backyard, per mom! I have had a 4 year old that spent all days indoors watching TV with her special needs/non verbal older brother. I would observe for now and consider recommending early intervention evaluations. I would NEVER use any words like special needs or anything even close to a diagnosis, but i would make sure all parents know of early intervention options in your town.

I know mine is an only child with tons of tv time. And who know how often she gets outside. Actually we had snow a few weeks ago and on FB when her family asked about pictures of her in the snow her response was daycare didn't take any
Heaven forbid you have interaction with your child.....

[WImom]

Not sure on her screen time but up until 3y is was just her and her dad at home, she is an only child. At my house she only watches one 15-20 minutes show a day when I make lunch.

I had another child yell at her today because she kept asking if she was in the wedding too (they were playing wedding). The other child told her the first time, "yes", but she kept asking it over and over. I reminded the 3y old that so and so already answered her. I think she asks a question and then doesn't really listen to the answer. I've had that before in kids too.

I will have to up my ignoring. I think some of it is attention as well but I'll keep a watch on it to make sure it's improving.

[Starburst]

Sounds like parrot syndrome (she gets used to hearing the same phrases several times and repeats it). It also sounds like she is more on auto pilot then being in the moment. Could just be a short attention span, issues with short term memory, or have a processing disorder- she hears the answer but it doesn't lock in her brain; makes it hard for information to stick.

She could also just have an active imagination.

[spinnymarie]

The part that is standing out to me is the fact that she isn't catching on that she is bothering everyone. Does she react to facial expressions and other social cues?
Definitely could easily be late development, esp without much social interaction, she is still learning how to play with the other kids, but if she's not catching other social cues either that might be something more.

[daycare]

I have to agree with the screen time could be the issue. Children with too much screen time and not enough social interaction will not know how to hold conversations at all. They will not know how to interact with others. They are used to being talked at by a TV. My niece was just like this. she was 4 and still doing it. She also came from a home life that the parents argued 24/7, so TV was her babysitter.

She is now 7 and does not do this anymore. She finally outgrew it once she was started going to a home daycare at the age of 4.5. She struggled a lot in start.