Ugh Parents

[Great Beginnings]

I have this 6 year old boy. Constantly a problem with acting out and being mouthy but unfortunately I need the money and being 6 months pregnant, it's not easy to replace kids.

Anyway yesterday dad picked up and the kid looked at me and called me a looser! I ignored it, hoping dad would address it but nope. The kid then again said "hey looser, see ya later looser". Again dad says nothing I lost it and made it perfectly clear in a very stern voice that not only was that language unacceptable but he would not ever speak to me in my home that way again. I then added I don't care if dad is here or not, it's not going to be tolerated.

Seriously, as a parent why on earth would you not address that behavior??

[momofboys]

I have this 6 year old boy. Constantly a problem with acting out and being mouthy but unfortunately I need the money and being 6 months pregnant, it's not easy to replace kids.

Anyway yesterday dad picked up and the kid looked at me and called me a looser! I ignored it, hoping dad would address it but nope. The kid then again said "hey looser, see ya later looser". Again dad says nothing I lost it and made it perfectly clear in a very stern voice that not only was that language unacceptable but he would not ever speak to me in my home that way again. I then added I don't care if dad is here or not, it's not going to be tolerated.

Seriously, as a parent why on earth would you not address that behavior??

That's terrible that the parent said nothing! If it were my child I would have apologized up & down & child would be writing you an apology.

[coolconfidentme]

I would have then turn to dad & said, "You need to teach your child to have respect for all adults. Period!"

[momofboys]

I would have then turn to dad & said, "You need to teach your child to have respect for all adults. Period!"

[KidGrind]

Maybe because DCB learned it from DCD. You do not have to accept that behavior. A letter stating DCB demonstrating blatant disrespect continually may be an indication your program isn’t the right fit for the DCF.

I am a firm believer that sometimes people block their blessings with fear.

[llpa]

Good for you for speaking up in front of dcd!! Not gonna get on my soapbox about why older kids are the way they are... It's obvious!

[daycarediva]

What the HELL? I would be mortified, and IMHO that is learned behavior. For Dad to not say a word is reprehensible and speaks volumes about his parenting. I would be terming ASAP.

[CraftyMom]

This would not fly with me. I understand your situation with needing him there financially, but blatant disrespect by the child AND the dad by not saying anything, I would have them gone. This probably isn't the first time dcb has spoken like this in your home. Keeping him there tells dad that you need him more than he needs you

[My3cents]

I have this 6 year old boy. Constantly a problem with acting out and being mouthy but unfortunately I need the money and being 6 months pregnant, it's not easy to replace kids.

Anyway yesterday dad picked up and the kid looked at me and called me a looser! I ignored it, hoping dad would address it but nope. The kid then again said "hey looser, see ya later looser". Again dad says nothing I lost it and made it perfectly clear in a very stern voice that not only was that language unacceptable but he would not ever speak to me in my home that way again. I then added I don't care if dad is here or not, it's not going to be tolerated.

Seriously, as a parent why on earth would you not address that behavior??

you left us in suspense.... What did the parent say after you lost it?

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I would have done the same thing as you, Great Beginnings. Tried to ignore it so child did not have the satisfaction of a reaction, but when he persisted I would have said the same thing, right in front of dad.

Dad sounds like ignorant trash, if he is willing to let something like that slide. I would be tempted to say something harsh to him, but it would most likely go in one ear and out the other. Reprimanding his child in front of him makes enough of a statement, IMO.

I would talk to my little DCB about it the next day, too. He probably needs someone like you to help him grow into a respectable young man. It may make a big difference to the wife who will have to put up with him one day.

[Great Beginnings]

you left us in suspense.... What did the parent say after you lost it?

Lol! The dad only asked the boy if he had something to say and the boy said no. He told him to go get in the car and told me to have a good night. No hint of embarassment for his child's behavior and no appology to me!

This morning I had a talk with the boy again about his behavior and told him I would not accept his mouth anymore regardless if mom or dad were there. He refused to appologize to me so he sat in time out until he was ready to act civilized. I know some people think consequences need to be swift and immediate but not me. He knows the next day what he did wrong and still needs to be accountable.

We are going to reduce our cable bill and some other things to get rid of this child. School has asked mom to have him evaluated. She finally did and he was basically diagnosed with Disruptive Behavior Disorder, which I was led to believe by the school means that he's a spoiled brat and parents need to work on behavior issues. I don't need this stress around my family anymore and last night after complaining to DH for over an hour about his mouth and parents lack of discipline, I realized this wasn't healthy for my family.

[TwinKristi]

DBD (and other disorders like it such as ODD) usually are coupled with other issues like ADHD or another psychiatric diagnosis. Does he seem like a smart kid? DBD is typically found in children with low IQs, some smart-mouthed brats are very smart and under stimulated and crave attention. The stats on things like DBD are low, like less than 5-10%! So DBD only, and no ADHD, is pretty rare!
Sounds like a case of bratitis to me! LOL :: Blatant disrespect should be addressed and parents spoken to. Maybe some type of formal "behavioral expectations" would be appropriate.