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  • NoMoreJuice!
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2014
    • 715

    Annoyed...

    I have five full time kids right now, all two years old and up. I have a new four year old girl starting in a few weeks, and I asked most of my dc families for references and they were all happy to help provide them.

    Tonight the dcm of my youngest (age 2.5 girl) called to say she was concerned because, after talking to the new mom for over an HOUR last night when she called for a reference, she's concerned that her daughter isn't going to get enough attention with six kids in the house.

    Her daughter has been in my dc for six months, and she fits in very well. But after all I've been through with this mom (she's the one I've griped about before...staying at my house for an entire day, not potty training her own child because it's too much work but sending her in underwear to my house, etc) I want to term SO BADLY. She makes me insane. When her daughter started with me, we chatted very candidly about my past experience, and my plans for this daycare. I mentioned that in the past, I have watched up to 9 children at once, but here I was happy caring for four to five kids, and none under 18 months.

    She now says that I'm going back on my word (like I PROMISED her that I wouldn't watch more than 5??) and she's worried that her daughter is going to lack the one on one time she needs with me.

    Sorry for the rant...I feel really good letting that one out. If she pushes me again, I will definitely be asking if she'd like to turn in her two weeks notice. The only saving grace (for me) is that she doesn't normally pick up or drop off (dad and grandma do) so I only have to deal with her occasionally.

    DRIVING ME CRAZY. Well, I guess it's a short walk anyway.
  • KidGrind
    Daycare.com Member
    • Sep 2013
    • 1099

    #2
    Originally posted by NoMoreJuice!
    I have five full time kids right now, all two years old and up. I have a new four year old girl starting in a few weeks, and I asked most of my dc families for references and they were all happy to help provide them.

    Tonight the dcm of my youngest (age 2.5 girl) called to say she was concerned because, after talking to the new mom for over an HOUR last night when she called for a reference, she's concerned that her daughter isn't going to get enough attention with six kids in the house.

    Her daughter has been in my dc for six months, and she fits in very well. But after all I've been through with this mom (she's the one I've griped about before...staying at my house for an entire day, not potty training her own child because it's too much work but sending her in underwear to my house, etc) I want to term SO BADLY. She makes me insane. When her daughter started with me, we chatted very candidly about my past experience, and my plans for this daycare. I mentioned that in the past, I have watched up to 9 children at once, but here I was happy caring for four to five kids, and none under 18 months.

    She now says that I'm going back on my word (like I PROMISED her that I wouldn't watch more than 5??) and she's worried that her daughter is going to lack the one on one time she needs with me.

    Sorry for the rant...I feel really good letting that one out. If she pushes me again, I will definitely be asking if she'd like to turn in her two weeks notice. The only saving grace (for me) is that she doesn't normally pick up or drop off (dad and grandma do) so I only have to deal with her occasionally.

    DRIVING ME CRAZY. Well, I guess it's a short walk anyway.
    :hug: People often hear what they want to hear. I have told all my DCPs that I am content with 3. However, I can go up to 6 and WILL if I choose to. I have four full-timers now and one part-timer. A few weeks back the fourth full-timer starter and my spoiled-rotten DCPs seemed uneasy about the addition. No one came out and said anything but they’d look at the DCK as if they had 3 eyes.

    I laughed & laughed on the inside. Finally I started to get comments like, “The new kid looks like a handful.”

    I replied, “DCK is a lot easier to deal with than you! And I only deal with you at drop offs and pick ups. You parents are a pain in my big toe”

    Another DCP shared, “He looks like a bruiser.”

    I’d replied, “He is the sweetest boy. Thanks for opening up the conversation about bruisers. Your kid just so happened to kick another child today unprovoked……”

    If only I’d taken a snapshot of the look on DCP’s face.

    DCPs can be territorial. With that typed I’d respond with, “I mentioned I’d like four to five kids in care. I can have up to nine. I did not promise to keep the numbers at five. I have a great group and think the right fit would benefit my program."

    Comment

    • Unregistered

      #3
      I would be curious to know what was said and went on in that hour long conversation to make the dcm with you already think the new girl is going to be taking up alot more of your time.

      Comment

      • cheerfuldom
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 7413

        #4
        I don't give numbers to families. I don't detail who is here and when. I tell them the max I will have here (8) and that it is normally 5 or 6 at a time but they need to be comfortable with my max number because I have and will go up to that number at my discretion.

        I would take this problem mom off your reference list

        I provide numbers of previous clients rather than current clients because of issues like this.

        I am VERY selective about providing current client references. I will usually do one current family on my reference list. Don't feel you have to have 20 numbers on the list and every current family. I normally provider three references although I can offer more, no one has ever asked for more and many people don't even call the references.

        I NEVER provide the numbers of any problem families. They need to be here for at least a year to be considered trust worthy enough for a reference.

        I know some providers do letter references only, no calls.

        If this mom was crying, then I would just say "this is how it is. if it is no longer a good fit for you, please remember that I require two weeks notice"

        Comment

        • KIDZRMYBIZ
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jun 2013
          • 672

          #5
          Oh, please. One-on-one time? You provide group care, you're not a nanny. That mom sounds like a piece of work.

          I hate it when prospective clients ask "how many?" when interviewing. I just give my speech on how, like any professional career, I am specially trained and have great experience for my field. I also add that I would never dream of telling an elementary or middle school teacher that he/she can't possibly handle a classroom of 35 students, or that a boarding kennel owner couldn't possibly handle a dozen pooches...just because I don't possess the education or desire to do it.

          I would say to your DCM, "I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding. I am licensed for #, and am fully capable of providing the same quality care with that many."

          Comment

          • Crazy8
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jun 2011
            • 2769

            #6
            first, definitely take this mom off your list of references!

            second, I would let dcm know how many you are licensed for and let her know that there is no guarantee you won't go up to that amount and that after years of providing group care you are capable of knowing what you can handle.

            Comment

            • Unregistered

              #7
              I'm too tired to log in You know what's ironic? I get flack for not watching enough kids--not enough "socialization." Damned if you do, damned if you don't!!!!

              Comment

              • Blackcat31
                • Oct 2010
                • 36124

                #8
                Wasn't any of this discussed BEFORE you enrolled this mom?

                Staying all day
                Expecting you to toilet train
                Capacity and number of kids you will have/want


                Boy, I'd be tempted to tell this mom that you have given what she said about attention and having more than xx amount of kids making it hard to do individual attention so you have decided that she is right.

                Then give her notice and tell her thank you for pointing out the needs her family has and that you will not be able to meet those needs so you are enrolling the new family in HER space.

                Comment

                • TwinKristi
                  Family Childcare Provider
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 2390

                  #9
                  I usually explain to parents that with 2 of my own children and 1 after school only, that it keeps my numbers low but they all know I can have up to 8 plus 2 of my own that don't count in my ratio. One mom asked the other day at an interview. 4 kids after school (2 don't count) and 3 during the day now, on the days they would be here. I could legally have 2 more over 2 but choose to keep low numbers. I've never had anyone complain about adding kids, but I know one mom probably wondered about this when one started last year. It put me at my limit for a month until one turned 2.
                  Someone feeling so entitled to actually tell you that is probably going to be problematic anyway, which she's shown already.

                  Comment

                  • NoMoreJuice!
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jan 2014
                    • 715

                    #10
                    Agreed

                    Oh she's permanently off the reference list. It's been SO long since someone asked for references that I just didn't have a list handy, so I ended up asking a few currents.

                    That is SO funny that someone mentioned not having enough kids for some moms...I have one of those too! When I only had three kids, a potential mom wanted to hold off enrolling until I had more kids enrolled so that her child would have more socialization.

                    I was rolling on the floor about that orphan post earlier. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just have all my sweet kids without their crazy parents? It's like finding the man of your dreams and then meeting his crazy ex that constantly tries to ruin your life. At some point, he's just not worth it!

                    Comment

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