Help With Co Sleeper

[Unregistered]

Hi I have never posted here before but I need some advice.
I have a family with 2 children that I provide care for. one is 12 months the other is 2. They are only part time usually 3 days a week. The 12 months old cries ALL the time unless being held and even then sometimes he doesn't stop. I can't possibly hold him all the time. I have other children to attend to and I am pregnant and can not carry him around all the time. His crying is very loud screaming. It is affecting the other children during the day especially during nap time. Even the other DCP have made comments. At home he co sleeps with his parents and 2 year old brother. So when it comes to nap time here he just screams the entire time, trying to get out of his p. He will sleep for maybe 20 mins all day long ( 7am-6pm). when I brought this up to the mother she asked if I could get him a cot instead of a play pen and lay with him until he falls asleep. I explained that I cannot do this.
Does anybody know how to deal with this type of situation?

The 2 year old sleeps great but has problems listening. He has a lot of tantrums, some lasting about 45 mins. if he is told to pick up toys or not do something he gets so mad and will start screaming and throwing toys. He also has a problem with hitting other children with toys. His mother believes that at his age he can not control himself and has asked me not to do time out but instead just distract him with a book so he will calm down and forget why he was upset. I do not agree with this. I feel he needs some type of discipline. He knows what he is doing, he knows the rules sand will look at me and smile while he is doing something he shouldn't.

An advice??? I do not know what to do since the parents and I are on such different pages.

[Blackcat31]

Hi I have never posted here before but I need some advice.
I have a family with 2 children that I provide care for. one is 12 months the other is 2. They are only part time usually 3 days a week. The 12 months old cries ALL the time unless being held and even then sometimes he doesn't stop. I can't possibly hold him all the time. I have other children to attend to and I am pregnant and can not carry him around all the time. His crying is very loud screaming. It is affecting the other children during the day especially during nap time. Even the other DCP have made comments. At home he co sleeps with his parents and 2 year old brother. So when it comes to nap time here he just screams the entire time, trying to get out of his p. He will sleep for maybe 20 mins all day long ( 7am-6pm). when I brought this up to the mother she asked if I could get him a cot instead of a play pen and lay with him until he falls asleep. I explained that I cannot do this.
Does anybody know how to deal with this type of situation?

The 2 year old sleeps great but has problems listening. He has a lot of tantrums, some lasting about 45 mins. if he is told to pick up toys or not do something he gets so mad and will start screaming and throwing toys. He also has a problem with hitting other children with toys. His mother believes that at his age he can not control himself and has asked me not to do time out but instead just distract him with a book so he will calm down and forget why he was upset. I do not agree with this. I feel he needs some type of discipline. He knows what he is doing, he knows the rules sand will look at me and smile while he is doing something he shouldn't.

An advice??? I do not know what to do since the parents and I are on such different pages.

Honestly, it simply seems that this family is not the right fit for your program.

Was any of this (co-sleeping, hitting etc) discussed with the parents? What are they saying to do?

Besides lying down with their child, there isn't much you can do.

I personally would not waste MY time trying to fix an issue the parents created and are still practicing if it affected my day so much.

It's not fair to you, your other daycare children and to those kids too that the routine between home and daycare is so different.

This is an issue I would give back to the parents. Put a star on your calendar marking the last day you are willing to continue doing this and if things haven't improved, I would let them go.

They need to find care arrangements that either support their method of parenting or they need to adjust their parenting styles at home to help their child(ren) have a better day.

[taylorw1210]

Honestly, it simply seems that this family is not the right fit for your program.

Was any of this (co-sleeping, hitting etc) discussed with the parents? What are they saying to do?

Besides lying down with their child, there isn't much you can do.

I personally would not waste MY time trying to fix an issue the parents created and are still practicing if it affected my day so much.

It's not fair to you, your other daycare children and to those kids too that the routine between home and daycare is so different.

This is an issue I would give back to the parents. Put a star on your calendar marking the last day you are willing to continue doing this and if things haven't improved, I would let them go.

They need to find care arrangements that either support their method of parenting or they need to adjust their parenting styles at home to help their child(ren) have a better day.

As always, very sound advice.

I had a family exactly like this, except I had the little brother at a younger age. He was 6 months old when I got him and the brother was 2. I saw immediately that the older brother needed early intervention and turns out he has SPD. Thankfully she took my concerns seriously and sought help immediately leading him to his diagnosis and therapy (so he had a reason for his anger issues and inability to play with the other kiddos).

The baby co-slept with the rest of the family and refused to nap and screamed ALL. DAY. LONG. I ended up having to term because it was extremely stressful on everyone in this house. The baby would not eat (refused bottles), would not sleep (unless I was holding him after he passed out from screaming so long), and would not play on his own.

In short - if the parents are not on the same page as you (thus not leaving room for improvement) and are not grasping the concept that the type of care they are wanting for their children cannot be provided in a daycare setting, you need to save everyone the grief and term them.

[CraftyMom]

His mother believes that at his age he can not control himself and has asked me not to do time out but instead just distract him with a book so he will calm down and forget why he was upset. I do not agree with this. I feel he needs some type of discipline. He knows what he is doing, he knows the rules sand will look at me and smile while he is doing something he shouldn't.

An advice??? I do not know what to do since the parents and I are on such different pages.

It's your daycare, your rules. If you give time out for this type of behavior then he gets time out as well. Parents don't get to individualize their child's care in a group setting. (Unless it's something like allergies, etc) He will never learn that this behavior is wrong if he isn't told so, but I'm sure he already knows by the way he looks at you.

I agree with the others. They are looking for a nanny not a daycare provider

[Unregistered]

Thank you for the advice! I think you are all right, my program is not the right fit for the family. I will be putting that star on my calendar.

[Meeko]

It's your daycare, your rules. If you give time out for this type of behavior then he gets time out as well. Parents don't get to individualize their child's care in a group setting. (Unless it's something like allergies, etc) He will never learn that this behavior is wrong if he isn't told so, but I'm sure he already knows by the way he looks at you.

I agree with the others. They are looking for a nanny not a daycare provider

Exactly. I would term this family.

[Janice62]

co sleeper

Hi,


older: I've found that co sleepers need to be near the provider, if on a nap mat. If you have a rocking chair, just put them about ten inches away from your feet, do an ocean sound machine, same blankie, same teeny pillow, maybe a tiny quiet stuffed toy to cuddle.

Infant: Try doing a superman or super girl hand off at the front door for a new routine for good bye. Child should be turned to face your face for engagement and attachment. If the child in the crib gets up, gently lay him down, rub back and say sssshhhhh quietly. (repetitiously) Our little guy did it, and we just wiggle our finger and point down to the ground for him to lay back down, he's just putting his sleep together and needs guidance (the rem sleep) going from a couple of hours in the morning and afternoon with putting the time together for when he get's closer to 2 years old. Sounds like he's over wound and over stimulated, so try the early morning nap about tenish and then try lying him down in the afternoon, when he show body language signals, yawning, rubbing eyes, laying on couch, ground... etc.. I've found that kiddo's and babies with full tummies every two hours socialize better plus sleep terrific also.

I find that parents miss their kids sooo much that they keep them up to midnight and then guess what, you've got a child that is sleep deprived so he's going to not have the greatest of communication skills or social skills with possibly having tantrums and hitting at the the kiddo's and adults because he needs to make up that missed sleep time. What this does is set the child up for failure mainly but it also sets the group and the adults up for failure also.