Need Help With Term Letter For Long Standing Parent

[cupcakemomma5]

Hi,
I am stuck writings termination letter to the parents of twins that I have taken care of for 4 years. I have reached a point that their lack of respect for our rules, and the children's blatant disregard is pushing me to my breaking point. And that's saying a lot, In 18 years doing home childcare I have never had to give notice.
It took 2 years, and me finally threatening to call CAS, to get the daughter diagnosed with epilepsy.
At this point, its affecting the rest of my dck.
So I don't want to state the the children's behavior and parents behavior is the reason why we are letting them go, but I don't want to do before&after care and it's too much of a disruption to the other routines...etc.
Thank you for your help....I just don't know how to word it.

[KidGrind]

I copied and pasted this for you from another thread. It’s from BlackCat.

"Dear parent:

This letter is written notice of termination of my intent to discontinue providing child care services to your family. The last date I can provide care is ***X, 2012. I have included the number to the local Child Care Resource and Referral if you should need assistance in finding new care arrangements.

Sincerely,

Provider."

If they ask you for a reason, simply say that you are making some changes and need to end your care agreement. They really do not need any more explanation than that.

Most of the DCPs on this site are awesome. BlackCat, NannyDe & MV give & share a lot of great information.

[Luvnmykidz]

Sorry you are going through this.:hug: I am not a pro at this and I'm sure some of the ladies may have much better advice than me, but here's what I would say:
Dear dcf,
Due to a business decision to make changes in my program I will no longer be able to provide care to your family. This is effective as of (fill in date based on how advanced your notice must be according to your policy). It has been a pleasure caring for your family and I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Here is the phone number to the resource and referral office.
Your long time provider

[Laurel]

Hi,
I am stuck writings termination letter to the parents of twins that I have taken care of for 4 years. I have reached a point that their lack of respect for our rules, and the children's blatant disregard is pushing me to my breaking point. And that's saying a lot, In 18 years doing home childcare I have never had to give notice.
It took 2 years, and me finally threatening to call CAS, to get the daughter diagnosed with epilepsy.
At this point, its affecting the rest of my dck.
So I don't want to state the the children's behavior and parents behavior is the reason why we are letting them go, but I don't want to do before&after care and it's too much of a disruption to the other routines...etc.
Thank you for your help....I just don't know how to word it.

Gosh, I know how you feel because I had a long term one who I should have termed but didn't. The parent was okay but it was the child's behavior that never changed. Luckily he aged out but I swore I'd never do it again.


Dear Parent,

I will no longer be able to provide child care for your family as of ______.

The arrangement is no longer working for me.

Sincerely,

If she asks why, I'd say (not put it in writing) that the children are increasingly disrespectful and I feel like I am constantly having to keep the parents on top of the rules. I am no longer willing to do this.

If they tried to argue about it, I'd just say "I'm sorry you don't agree but that is what I have decided." Repeat that as many times as you need to.

Laurel

[Shell]

Both of the letters above are great. Are they the only children you provide before and after school care for? If so, you could just tell her what you wrote here- that before and after care has become too disruptive to the routine.

[TwinKristi]

Short, sweet and to the point.

Dear DCF,

As of ?/?/2014 I will no longer be able to provide care for your children. Included is the number for our local R&R agency who can provide you with a list of other providers in the area.

Thank you,
Your provider

If they ask why, then you can say due to changes your making with your daycare, be honest about their disrespect, etc. Or just say they're outgrowing your program and it's nothing personal but you feel they would be better engaged in a bigger/smaller group.

[Leigh]

I talked with a child therapist that I worked with prior to my last term. I had written a short term letter, and she suggested that I list the reasons for the term because their guardian is a huge reason for the behavior (lack of consistency at home, lack of rules at home, lack of appropriate discipline (they hit, rather than try to teach), and the guardian's refusal to follow the therapist and doctor's suggestions on caring for the kids.

She told me to list all of the damages the children have caused to my home, as well as the escalation in inappropriate behaviors that have led to the termination. She told me NOT to give the guardians an easy exit, but let them face the reasons and see that there IS a problem in the home that needs to be fixed (I am at LEAST the 6th daycare provider these kids have had-all termed for behavior).

This may or may not be appropriate for your situation, but I did as the therapist suggested because I WANT so much for these kids to get the help they deserve (they each have multiple diagnosis that the caregivers refuse to treat with medications and the caregivers will not participate in therapy-the kids have been having therapy sessions at my home only).

I'll PM you a copy of the letter.

[TwinKristi]

^^ while I 100% agree with this, I don't always think it helps unfortunately. Sometimes they turn the tables and it only upsets people. I don't think providers want to deal with the conflict so they typically keep the peace to avoid backlash. Most parents who have these issues really don't realize it's their fault let alone want to deeply think and consider that to be the issue. These types of parents typically push their blame on others.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

^^ while I 100% agree with this, I don't always think it helps unfortunately. Sometimes they turn the tables and it only upsets people. I don't think providers want to deal with the conflict so they typically keep the peace to avoid backlash. Most parents who have these issues really don't realize it's their fault let alone want to deeply think and consider that to be the issue. These types of parents typically push their blame on others.

I listed when I suspended and oh my the backlash (which was so bad that I termed immediately).

[Laurel]

^^ while I 100% agree with this, I don't always think it helps unfortunately. Sometimes they turn the tables and it only upsets people. I don't think providers want to deal with the conflict so they typically keep the peace to avoid backlash. Most parents who have these issues really don't realize it's their fault let alone want to deeply think and consider that to be the issue. These types of parents typically push their blame on others.

That is why I gave an overview of there at least being a problem and what it was. If the parent was calm and really concerned and wanted me to elaborate then I might give a few examples. If they were rude or irate, then I'd just say what I said above.

I wouldn't like to be a parent and get a generic "I just can't watch them anymore" with no reasons. Obviously there is some reason.

Laurel

[cupcakemomma5]

I talked with a child therapist that I worked with prior to my last term. I had written a short term letter, and she suggested that I list the reasons for the term because their guardian is a huge reason for the behavior (lack of consistency at home, lack of rules at home, lack of appropriate discipline (they hit, rather than try to teach), and the guardian's refusal to follow the therapist and doctor's suggestions on caring for the kids.

She told me to list all of the damages the children have caused to my home, as well as the escalation in inappropriate behaviors that have led to the termination. She told me NOT to give the guardians an easy exit, but let them face the reasons and see that there IS a problem in the home that needs to be fixed (I am at LEAST the 6th daycare provider these kids have had-all termed for behavior).

This may or may not be appropriate for your situation, but I did as the therapist suggested because I WANT so much for these kids to get the help they deserve (they each have multiple diagnosis that the caregivers refuse to treat with medications and the caregivers will not participate in therapy-the kids have been having therapy sessions at my home only).

I'll PM you a copy of the letter.

Leah, this would be fantastic if you could pm me the letter.
Thanks a bundle

[cupcakemomma5]

Sorry you are going through this.:hug: I am not a pro at this and I'm sure some of the ladies may have much better advice than me, but here's what I would say:
Dear dcf,
Due to a business decision to make changes in my program I will no longer be able to provide care to your family. This is effective as of (fill in date based on how advanced your notice must be according to your policy). It has been a pleasure caring for your family and I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Here is the phone number to the resource and referral office.
Your long time provider

Love this one! Thank you....will be using a little of this in my letter.