Battle Of Wills

[Christina72684]

Same problem here!

I was going to post the same type of question just this morning!

I have a 3.5 year old boy (the rest of my preschoolers are girls) and he is so stubborn. We all take off our shoes here. I don't care if you walked out in the snow and mud, or were carried in, you take off your shoes and put them with your coat in your cubby. He always tries to run around in his boots or light up shoes and thinks it's funny when I tell him to take them off or attempt to walk towards him and he runs away. Sometimes I tell him I'll give him a sticker (we have a chart) if he takes them off, but I don't think that's fair since the other kids are good and take theirs off with no problem.

Not sure how to handle this situation since it's just first thing in the morning and not throughout the day.

[Solandia]

I am going to disagree with the majority here. I do not feel it is appropriate to separate and put a child in what is essentially a time out (aka "stay in that spot until you put on your socks!") for an hour+ at a time.

There are other ways to "win" without creating a battle of the wills, because it is silly to do. As an adult, we must think of the end result if "x" doesn't happen. Is the child going to sit in that spot all day? That is not ok in a childcare setting, even in a home setting I would side eye that.

Socks are so not a thing for me, so I would just take the socks away & be done with it. But since you want socks on, then the choice is to to socks on herself, or I do it. The option of sitting in a spot all day staring at the socks, isn't one of the available options. Same with picking up toys. Everyone helps. Occasionally there will be a holdout. I will leave some toys for the holdout to pick up, if he doesn't, then he doesn't get to participate in the next (fun) activity.Or if it was naptinme, it doesn't stop naptime from happening. But to sit & stare at the toys all day isn't the option.

My daycare dad would do the the battle with shoes on at night. Ticked me off. No, dcg doesn't get to sit in my entryway until you force her to put on her shoes herself. The option is either she is a big girl & does it herself, or dad does. Don't make my entryway some battle of the wills, you can do that elsewhere.

ONe of my bio kids (now a wonderful 14yo), was the ultimate in stubborn. I learned how to avoid battle of the wills when she was around 7/8yoyo? After an epic battle of needing to "win" that lasted hours over something dumb that had to be won. It was ridiculous, and honestly, borderline abusive. But it was essentially the same type of scenario in the first post...if you do x, you can get up from that spot. Yeah, I "won", but is was bittersweet and learn a hard lesson in choosing a hill to die on...or not.

[ihop]

I am happy to report that when she began to remove her sock again today, I reminded her that we wear socks at daycare and asked her to put it back on. She did it immediately and then went to play.happyface

[daycarediva]

I was going to post the same type of question just this morning!

I have a 3.5 year old boy (the rest of my preschoolers are girls) and he is so stubborn. We all take off our shoes here. I don't care if you walked out in the snow and mud, or were carried in, you take off your shoes and put them with your coat in your cubby. He always tries to run around in his boots or light up shoes and thinks it's funny when I tell him to take them off or attempt to walk towards him and he runs away. Sometimes I tell him I'll give him a sticker (we have a chart) if he takes them off, but I don't think that's fair since the other kids are good and take theirs off with no problem.

Not sure how to handle this situation since it's just first thing in the morning and not throughout the day.

Can you meet him at the door, take his hand and guide him to wear he needs to put his shoes, while telling him "As soon as your shoes are off, you can come play." I would even tell a parent in this instance "We are working on little Joey following the no shoe rule, maybe you can make sure he takes them off when he comes in tomorrow?"

I'm not sure what your set up/lay out is, but I would nip that in the bud fast.

I am happy to report that when she began to remove her sock again today, I reminded her that we wear socks at daycare and asked her to put it back on. She did it immediately and then went to play.happyface

[ColorfulSunburst]

I am happy to report that when she began to remove her sock again today, I reminded her that we wear socks at daycare and asked her to put it back on. She did it immediately and then went to play.happyface

good!!!
If her parents want to live by her rules it doesn't mean you have to do the same.

[Christina72684]

Can you meet him at the door, take his hand and guide him to wear he needs to put his shoes, while telling him "As soon as your shoes are off, you can come play." I would even tell a parent in this instance "We are working on little Joey following the no shoe rule, maybe you can make sure he takes them off when he comes in tomorrow?"

I'm not sure what your set up/lay out is, but I would nip that in the bud fast.

We have an open concept with the cubby area to the right. As soon as Mom or Dad put him down he bolts all around playing with stuff or just running. They tell him to take his shoes off too, but he rarely listens. I tell him he can't play with toys until they come off, but usually he either ignores me or melts down. Not sure why either because once he gets them off he's fine, it's just getting it done.