Parents Asking Very Personal Information

[Unregistered]

Thank you

Thank you so much for your replies. I feel much better now knowing that I am not the only thing thinking that was too much.

They already came for an interview and seems very nice, but over the phone later they were very demanding. They want to enroll their child at my daycare very much but I would rather not.Even if I understand they want to make sure their child is safe.

How do you refuse a child to enroll politely and without causing drama?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it!

[Meeko]

Thank you so much for your replies. I feel much better now knowing that I am not the only thing thinking that was too much.

They already came for an interview and seems very nice, but over the phone later they were very demanding. They want to enroll their child at my daycare very much but I would rather not.Even if I understand they want to make sure their child is safe.

How do you refuse a child to enroll politely and without causing drama?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it!

Tell her the truth. I would...but then I am a forward kinda gal ::

That you don't think they would be a good fit as you feel very uncomfortable being asked for personal information that invades your privacy.

Actually the easiest way is just to tell them that you have had several families interview for the spot and it is now filled. That you enjoyed meeting them...blah...blah...etc.

[taylorw1210]

Don't EVER give out your personal information.

tell her that licensing has done all that for her and you couldn't be licensed without it. For security purposes you don't give out that information.

And you MEDICAL records??

I personally wouldn't even consider taking someone like that.

What she said!

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I had a DCD that did something similar. He wanted to see the checklist from every state inspection (fine), every food program inspection (fine), my health info report my dr fills out for the state (not fine), and that he would do his own background check and google me (okie-doke, go for it). I was able to understand his perspective, and I was kind and said all the right things about it. Of course, it was afterward that I came up with the snappy comeback:

"Since I don't know you, you nor your wife carries any diseases that could be passed on to your son/daughter, right? He/she will spend a great many hours in my family's home, and I will be wiping various body fluids from him/her every day. No? Oh, good. And you do keep your own home clean, I assume. Yes? Great! Lice, mites, and fleas, and even pet hair are always a concern with group care when children are coming from many different homes. And speaking of background checks, that is something I may start doing for potential clients. Never can be too safe, since you will be in my home at least twice a day. Can I have your full names, please, as they would appear on the Registered Sex Offender list?"

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[daycare]

I don't mind it at all. I feel that we are caring for their most precious gift in their life. We are not taking care of their dogs, (although I have seen some people treat their dogs better than their children) or a family pet, it's their child. They just want to make sure that their child is going to be safe. they don't know anything about us.

It does feel uncomfortable that they ask these things, because it makes us feel not trusted or incapable of doing our job.

In my area alone 2 HOME daycares and 3 centers were plagued by the media due to horrible providers that severely hurt children in their care. As a parent it scared me and made me realize what parents who are looking for childcare must go through to make sure that they are not leaving their child with the soup lady. there are no guarantees, but what these parents are doing is just being proactive.

Also, my employees are not required to post anything and don't have a license like I do that has requirements, they only have their clearances which I have no issues showing parents.

I would give parents any information that was required for me to obtain my business, my health has nothing to do with it.

I do think however, there was a thread sometime back about a provider who was using heavy narcotics due to her health and was still providing childcare. It's stuff like that that make parents worry.

[Blackcat31]

I don't mind it at all. I feel that we are caring for their most precious gift in their life. We are not taking care of their dogs, (although I have seen some people treat their dogs better than their children) or a family pet, it's their child. They just want to make sure that their child is going to be safe. they don't know anything about us.

It does feel uncomfortable that they ask these things, because it makes us feel not trusted or incapable of doing our job.

In my area alone 2 HOME daycares and 3 centers were plagued by the media due to horrible providers that severely hurt children in their care. As a parent it scared me and made me realize what parents who are looking for childcare must go through to make sure that they are not leaving their child with the soup lady. there are no guarantees, but what these parents are doing is just being proactive.

Also, my employees are not required to post anything and don't have a license like I do that has requirements, they only have their clearances which I have no issues showing parents.

I would give parents any information that was required for me to obtain my business, my health has nothing to do with it.

I do think however, there was a thread sometime back about a provider who was using heavy narcotics due to her health and was still providing childcare. It's stuff like that that make parents worry.

This is where the trust thing comes into play.

You are right, the parents don't know you and we are providing care to their most precious gifts buuuut, there isn't a single piece of paper or certificate, license or degree that guarantees that you (general you) aren't a bad provider or wouldn't hurt their child...kwim?

If all the info the parents requested listed in the OP's post was shown to those parents, HOW would that protect them?

Even good providers snap. That's why we hear about it on the news so often. Comments from stunned neighbors saying "Wow, she was such a nice loving provider", "I never would have suspected" or "I can't believe it, that just doesn't sound like the Kathy I know" etc....

When parents choose to use licensed care, they have to trust in the agency that licenses the providers.

I know the trust can't or won't always be 100% but it still ahs to exist on some level or there really is no point.

If the parent is seriously that concerned, I don't think licensed care is the right choice for them.

[daycare]

This is where the trust thing comes into play.

You are right, the parents don't know you and we are providing care to their most precious gifts buuuut, there isn't a single piece of paper or certificate, license or degree that guarantees that you (general you) aren't a bad provider or wouldn't hurt their child...kwim?

If all the info the parents requested listed in the OP's post was shown to those parents, HOW would that protect them?

Even good providers snap. That's why we hear about it on the news so often. Comments from stunned neighbors saying "Wow, she was such a nice loving provider", "I never would have suspected" or "I can't believe it, that just doesn't sound like the Kathy I know" etc....

When parents choose to use licensed care, they have to trust in the agency that licenses the providers.

I know the trust can't or won't always be 100% but it still ahs to exist on some level or there really is no point.

If the parent is seriously that concerned, I don't think licensed care is the right choice for them.

I agree 100% what you are saying as I said that there is no guarantee. BUT I feel that parents are doing it so that they felt that they are being proactive about it.

I am this parent that the OP talks about, (minus the health stuff) Anytime my kids go to someones house that i don't know MY kids say that i go crazy...

I ask do you guys have guns in your home, will the parents be home, do you plan on driving my child any where, etc. I ask a ton of questions. NONE of them will guarantee that my child will not get hurt while under their friends parents care, but it makes me feel better that the parent was willing to cooperate with me answering my questions. MOST parents say to me, GOSH you make me look like a bad parent, I never thought to ask those things. I have done this their whole lives. My older two are 15-17 and i still do it to with them.

[Blackcat31]

I agree 100% what you are saying as I said that there is no guarantee. BUT I feel that parents are doing it so that they felt that they are being proactive about it.

I am this parent that the OP talks about, (minus the health stuff) Anytime my kids go to someones house that i don't know MY kids say that i go crazy...

I ask do you guys have guns in your home, will the parents be home, do you plan on driving my child any where, etc. I ask a ton of questions. NONE of them will guarantee that my child will not get hurt while under their friends parents care, but it makes me feel better that the parent was willing to cooperate with me answering my questions. MOST parents say to me, GOSH you make me look like a bad parent, I never thought to ask those things. I have done this their whole lives. My older two are 15-17 and i still do it to with them.

I agree, but your kids' friends/parents aren't regulated by the state. I would (and did) ask the same questions too.

I also understand how this might make the parents feel better but as a provider, it would make me feel untrusted or under a microscope. NOT the kind of work conditions I would agree to.

[daycare]

I agree, but your kids' friends/parents aren't regulated by the state. I would (and did) ask the same questions too.

I also understand how this might make the parents feel better but as a provider, it would make me feel untrusted or under a microscope. NOT the kind of work conditions I would agree to.

this stands true about me, but my employees don't have any proof other than their actual clearances and certificates. The STATE does not check theirs unless they come to do a home inspection. I have not had a home inspection in 2 years and before that 5 years.

[Cat Herder]

In my State when you have the background done they send you a letter stating that your record has been verified. It gives your name, address, State Provider Id#, expiration date and is on their letterhead with contact numbers. If someone asks I can just give them a copy of that.

Of course it is also available for them to print themselves off the State website, along with the last 2 years worth of inspections. Asking for a hardcopy shows they did not do the work of investigating on their own.

We also have to sign a medical waiver saying we are fit for duty and a residency waiver saying we are here legally. These are pretty new...

[Babyluver21]

Hello,

I am a Family daycare owner, and previously worked years in a daycare.

Until now, all families were very trustful and we got along happily. But recently I had a parent wanted to enroll their child, who ask to have hard copy of
-My background/fingerprint result/information
-Medical background
-Information I had to provide to be licensed (which include my SSN and all)
All of this about me but also my worker and husband.

Of course I understand the parent want to make sure he can trust all of us . But isn't that too personal to share?

If you had a similar situation would you share theses or how should I handle this situation....?

Thank you so much for your help!

I would NOT be handing over all your info, client or not. Your medical info is protected by HIPAA and you don't have to share that for any reason, and her asking you is out of line unless she saw you have a seizure or something while caring for her child, then I could see it, but remember, Licensing already had you do a physical to see that you are physically able to care for children before they approved you. She needs nothing else. If she wants to run a private background check, that's fine, but she should pay for that. She could contact the state for the PUBLIC information. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you give her your SSN. Do you know how common ID theft is? You never know whether a client would use it, or maybe LOSE it and someone else take it and go nuts with your identity. You should have a separate EIN for tax purposes, so that would be ok because that's specific to your business and is public record anyway. (Plus if they write off daycare expenses, it makes it MUCH easier for you to give that to them, than you to have to fill out and fax paperwork on their behalf to a tax person or the IRS)
I wouldn't share anything else but what you already have (name, license #, addr, etc) She's got enough info on you to verify you on her own background check. Remember, your personal, financial, and medical information is private and should remain that way for your own protection. That doesn't mean you have anything to hide, but you don't know that the other person doesn't.

I would:
Share the BASICS she already has so she can conduct her own background check on you
Share your EIN only (NEVER the SSN)
Answer other basic questions about your home and it's safety (i.e. who comes over, guns, dogs, etc...)

[Maria2013]

I've never been asked any of those things.
...but if I were, I wouldn't take offence to it, I would just direct them to ask DHS

[mountainside13]

I would share everything except my medical background. That is my personal business and I don't think sharing that part of my life is necessary for them to know.