Should I Tell My Parents?!

[Starburst]

what I was disagreeing with is even saying anything to the parents that have children in that school. the school will make sure that everyone is kept safe and will remove that person.

I just said that it wasn't their business unless the child when to that school, I never said that she should flat out tell them herself or say anything to them.

[CraftyMom]

VERY sensitive subject, as a parent I absolutely would NOT tell my dcp's!

The most important reason is you don't want to lose your daughter's trust!

Also, it's like the telephone game where a comment gets misspoken so many times it's unrecognizable. You don't want this to somehow be misconstrued that things were happening in your daycare.

So sorry to hear you are going through this!

I have been through this with my own child, not at school, and it is a very touchy subject and needs to be handled carefully

[daycare]

I just said that it wasn't their business unless the child when to that school, I never said that she should flat out tell them herself or say anything to them.

Personally, unless in the cases where the DCPs have children in that school and have classes or is in regular contact with that adult (and you suspect their child has been hurt by this person), it's not really their business.

I was responding to this....perhaps I misunderstood what you were saying. I was saying that even if they have children in that school or class not to mention it..... Let the school take care of it....

[Starburst]

Personally, unless in the cases where the DCPs have children in that school and have classes or is in regular contact with that adult (and you suspect their child has been hurt by this person), it's not really their business.

I was responding to this....perhaps I misunderstood what you were saying. I was saying that even if they have children in that school or class not to mention it..... Let the school take care of it....

I didn't say 'mention it' either, just that it wasn't their business.

[SilverSabre25]

mountainside, my heart goes out to your daughter. Kudos to her for telling you! I wish you both all the best lovethis

[Michael]

Of course most of us would keep it private as our family did but the OP said this would most likely go public. I say get ahead of the story and control what you can.

[crazydaycarelady]

I think I would keep it a family affair for now It MAY go public but a child's name would never be released.

[daycare]

I think I would keep it a family affair for now It MAY go public but a child's name would never be released.

having a serious issue like this in a small town ( not sure if you live in one or not) the name of the person will eventually get out. With my daughter it did. I don't want to get to detailed about it, but it got really ugly and even though this was over a year ago, we still have not gone to court with it. The DA's office is pressing charges against the boys at her school. One of who happens to be my best friends son. It's been a very tough year.

If you really think that you need to be proactive about it with the parents i would just say.

Unfortunately my child was victim to a crime that was committed at her school. I wanted to let everyone know because this may become a public matter. For the privacy of my family and daughter please allow for us to keep this matter private. Thank you for respecting my families wishes.

DCP

[mountainside13]

Thank you all for the great advice!! I have decided to not tell the parents any details. Since we are going to start homeschooling until we can get her open enrolled, I will inform them of that piece but nothing else. Thank you for so much support and advice!

[Second Home]

If you wanted to tell your parents you could simply tell them that an issue with your daughter at school occurred and you informed DHS. Its a private matter that may become public and you wanted them to be aware of it in case it does.

I agree . And I am so sorry this happened .

[Michael]

Thank you all for the great advice!! I have decided to not tell the parents any details. Since we are going to start homeschooling until we can get her open enrolled, I will inform them of that piece but nothing else. Thank you for so much support and advice!

Yes, homeschool!

I agree . And I am so sorry this happened .

Thank you, it was not an adult but her young friend. The therapist by law had to notify DHS. Done and over with about 7 years ago.

[grandmom]

I heard this in a class and it makes sense to me:

Every time you tell someone else about your daughter's experience, you make her a victim again. It's not your story to tell.

Think about ALL the people who will react to it. They may avoid you and her. They may ask inappropriate questions to her when you are not around. They may tease her.

Talk to her about how it's important to share with you and the police, and the counselor, but not to tell her friends. These stories are never forgotten.

I'm so sorry you've been dealt this. It is devastating.

Get counseling for you, your husband, and your daughter.

[jenn]

I'm so sorry that you and your daughter have had this experience. I agree with most of the others. I would keep it quiet with the DCPs. If the time comes that it becomes public, address it at that time.

I hope you and your daughter love homeschooling!

I don't think you owe them any explanation, but in case you feel like you want to say something, this is an idea. Some parents may notice that your daughter is around during school hours so you could say something like "Due to some issues at school, we are going to be homeschooling our daughter." If they ask what the issues are, you can just say that you prefer to keep that a family matter. This way you have notified them that she will be in the home during daycare hours, you have informed them that you will be homeschooling, and you will be stating that there have been some problems at school. Technically, if the story got out later, you would have informed them that there was an issue, so they would not feel like you had kept it from them.