Talking About Privates

[ihop]

Dcg 3 started talking about her vagina, using its proper name and grabbing herself over her pull up. I told her we don't talk about it at daycare.

She just laughed and started chanting it and touching herself. Pretty soon the while group is doing it! I separated her until she stopped.

I have he'd kids talk about their privates but only when they hurt or need changed.

Wwyd?

[kendallina]

I'd probably try to distract the whole group. "Who wants to read a book/sing a song/get out the paint!" haha---whatever you can get them to stop!

Or you could try something like, "vaginas are private and we only talk about them in the bathroom".

[preschoolteacher]

Why aren't you okay with this? I know many parents teach their children the proper name for privates on purpose. Would it have bothered you if she had said a babyish term for it instead? She may just be repeating back what she's learning about her body from potty training. It's normal, even good. I think that treating privates like they are bad or shameful, punishing kids for talking about them can set kids back in potty training. If she were older, like 5 or 6, I'd treat it differently, but a potty training 3 year old is another story.

If she is just saying the name, I'd treat it as if she said "nose" and grabbed her nose. "Yep, that's your nose!" No big deal. No big reaction.

I think a negative reaction can egg kids on.

[Evansmom]

I'd probably try to distract the whole group. "Who wants to read a book/sing a song/get out the paint!" haha---whatever you can get them to stop!

Or you could try something like, "vaginas are private and we only talk about them in the bathroom".

I've done this with potty humor and it's so hilarious and effective. I guide the child to the restroom while matter of factly saying, "Johnny, those are words we use in the bathroom. So you can talk about them in the bathroom and when you are finished come on out and we will keep playing with our friends." ::
They usually find that talking to themselves in the bathroom is super boring and come right back out and play.

[LadyMacbeth]

I'm always more bothered by the improper labeling of the exterior female genitalia. I usually just raise an eyebrow and say, "I think you're referring to your labias." Usually shuts them up and then I change the subject

[craftymissbeth]

Why aren't you okay with this? I know many parents teach their children the proper name for privates on purpose. Would it have bothered you if she had said a babyish term for it instead? She may just be repeating back what she's learning about her body from potty training. It's normal, even good. I think that treating privates like they are bad or shameful, punishing kids for talking about them can set kids back in potty training. If she were older, like 5 or 6, I'd treat it differently, but a potty training 3 year old is another story.

If she is just saying the name, I'd treat it as if she said "nose" and grabbed her nose. "Yep, that's your nose!" No big deal. No big reaction.

I think a negative reaction can egg kids on.

I agree. It's a part of the female body. What in the world is so bad about that? Now, yes, she needs to understand that the grabbing herself down there is inappropriate for daycare... but the word vagina isn't. I've heard so many different nicknames for it and I cringe each time. It's not a "mimi" or a "woohoo" or even a "peepee" it's a freaking vagina.

My aunt's 5 year old son started calling his penis what it is... a penis. She freaked. I asked her why and she said it sounds inappropriate and children shouldn't be saying that word. My goodness, he's calling it by its name.


Anyway, end of rant

[ihop]

I am very happy to hear her call it the proper name I only pointed that out as a detail in the events, It was more the humor she was finding in getting the other children to say it and grab themselves that I didn't quite know how to handle. I will redirect to the restroom next time.

All of the other kids call it the girlie parts which irks me but whatever

[MotherNature]

Why aren't you okay with this? I know many parents teach their children the proper name for privates on purpose. Would it have bothered you if she had said a babyish term for it instead? She may just be repeating back what she's learning about her body from potty training. It's normal, even good. I think that treating privates like they are bad or shameful, punishing kids for talking about them can set kids back in potty training. If she were older, like 5 or 6, I'd treat it differently, but a potty training 3 year old is another story.

If she is just saying the name, I'd treat it as if she said "nose" and grabbed her nose. "Yep, that's your nose!" No big deal. No big reaction.

I think a negative reaction can egg kids on.

I agree completely. We use proper names here too. Plus, if your daughter uses the term vulva or vagina, & one day she mentions her cookie or something like that in reference to her genitals, you can ask her where she learned that. Kids who know their body are less likely to be targeted for sexual abuse.