Providers Financial Need=DCP Not Following Policy

[Crazy8]

I also want to add - this is the one forum I frequent where terming a child is the answer to a lot of questions. There have been times I've wondered how some of the providers here stay in business with the terming left and right that they claim to do... I agree that blatant disrespect for a provider by a dcp is a reason for immediate term, but generally I do like to try work other issues out before throwing in the towel - with that may come multiple posts questioning my sanity :: but eventually things work out (either we get over the hump, or the child has to move on) I live in a small town and I do need to be careful about terming willy nilly. That doesn't mean I won't, it just means a lot of thought and consideration will go into the decision.

I do know what you mean, obviously when someone posts about a problem family the ideal situation would be to replace them. BUT I think its more the posts where people are complaining, complaining, complaining but then saying there is nothing they can do because they "need" the money. Many times it really just boils down to if you can't respect your own rules how can you expect anyone else to???

I have had situations where I've had to grin and bear it with a child or family, I think we all have. But when you have a flat out miserable experience and you are dreading each and every day you need to really consider how badly you need that particular income.

[TwinKristi]

I do know what you mean, obviously when someone posts about a problem family the ideal situation would be to replace them. BUT I think its more the posts where people are complaining, complaining, complaining but then saying there is nothing they can do because they "need" the money. Many times it really just boils down to if you can't respect your own rules how can you expect anyone else to???

I have had situations where I've had to grin and bear it with a child or family, I think we all have. But when you have a flat out miserable experience and you are dreading each and every day you need to really consider how badly you need that particular income.

Not to mention the quality of care you can provide for your clients when you're miserable and truly unhappy due to ONE family. I realized how anxious I was when one family left. I realized how uptight it made me and how I was afraid to stray from this mom's "plans" for her child. She left me with 2 pages of instructions (none discussed prior to starting) about absolutely NO TV EVER, that he needs to be rocked to sleep and then laid down, how she would be taking his linens weekly to wash them herself, that he's really interested in electrical outlets and to make sure he doesn't get near them... Just weird stuff. Then she started with packing his food every.single.day even though she signed up for the food program. Bringing his own personal "organic milk" and always made sure to take home his sippy cup because God forbid I wash it... he'll probably get sick! Once she texted me at like 6:30 because he had a little mark on his head and her husband said it must have happened here! I think he was too scared to admit it happened while he had him because I KNOW it didn't happen here. I always notified her of even minor booboos she would probably never even know about if I didn't tell her. Why wouldn't I tell her if he got a head injury that left a mark and knew she'd see? she would show up randomly to get him, which is fine by me, but I know she probably thought she'd catch me doing x,y,z wrong but never did! She also lied to my provider friend who she interviewed as well and after interviewing on Monday told her she had already found someone else. She didn't even call me til Wed and didn't come by until Friday. She didn't even commit to me for a few more days. I didn't even know that until after they committed and I excitedly told her I had a new baby starting. He had a very unusual name so she was like when I told her. Mom told me she interviewed every single person with openings on the R&R list... I was proud when she first told me but by the time she left I was like WHY ME?? I was so relaxed and happy after she left, even though financially it was crappy. But I realized she was controlling me and my business and policies and it ****ed!

[Babyluver21]

I think that sometimes parents are MORE prone to leave if they DON'T RESPECT YOU.

I used to let parents walk on me the first few years I did DC. I was afraid of losing them, being badmouthed, not getting other clients, and of course, finances.

The thing is this: I noticed the parents that left the MOST were the ones that I didn't "enforce my contract" on. I would allow late payments. Parent would leave w/ money owed. I'd rather be STRICT and get my money up front and if they leave, at least I didn't work for free

When parents would be late picking up, I'd be late for my licensing classes, appts, etc; things that sometimes even cost me money! I never enforced my late fees, so again, working for FREE. Same when I opened the door before my start time.

The thing is, I did so many hours of free work because of my fear of losing the client/income, that I actually lost MORE income! It was very stressful.

Then one day, I woke up and started enforcing rules. I got a whole new group of parents/kids and for 4-5 years, I did GREAT (That is until they ALL moved away due to military or one got a job in another city). ONCE in awhile a parent would be late, and I would charge my late fee, UNLESS they had duty. I also noticed when I charged the same rate everyone else was, I kept GOOD clients, vs when I charged $100 per week. When that group left, and the economy was bad and I wasn't getting calls, that was hard. Then my twins started Kinder and I went back to work FT and am in nursing school also. I think what I do now is MUCH MUCH harder than what I did doing daycare, however, I get paid a steady paycheck, I only put up with any one person for just a few minutes at a time, and do really boring work for very good pay.

Would I ever do daycare again? Probably not, but if I did, I would always stick with my contract and enforce my rules, because I guarantee, the parents that wanna leave anyway, WILL leave...so why give concessions to those who want to take advantage?

[Cat Herder]

I think its more the posts where people are complaining, complaining, complaining but then saying there is nothing they can do because they "need" the money. Many times it really just boils down to if you can't respect your own rules how can you expect anyone else to???

That is what it boils down to, IMHO.

[LeslieG]

I totally empathize with providers that feel forced to put up with inconsiderate parents because of income. I was (and kind of still am) in that position. While I am usually pretty fortunate with the families I work with, there was a time (which was 2 years ago but still hurts a little) when I had a dcd call me during the day yelling and cursing me out. I was in tears and REALLY wanted to term them, but could not financially afford to.

Thanks for the good thread!

[TheGoodLife]

I am doing the 52 week money challenge as well! Only looking it over and seeing those high amounts every week in Nov/Dec. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that and instead I am doing it "bingo" style. I randomly choose an amount from $1-52 to put in my jar every week and cross that amount off. This week I made an extra $90 for taking a kid 2 extra days so I chose that to be a high dollar week for my jar. I am even a few weeks ahead!

I do something similar, but I alternate beginning to end. So week 1 $1, week 2 $52, week 3 $2, week 4 $51, ect. It's a great way to save up cash!

[Laurel]

That is what it boils down to, IMHO.

That and too many rules. I think anyone that complains a lot needs to make sure that their rules are reasonable and that there aren't too many of them.

From what I hear around here sometimes there must be some that have 50 pages of rules at least! I don't even see how parents can remember them let alone follow them sometimes. I often hear the complaint that parents don't read the contract. I wouldn't either if I had to read a multi page contract and 30 plus pages of a handbook.

Just adding that to the conversation.

Laurel

[LaLa1923]

That and too many rules. I think anyone that complains a lot needs to make sure that their rules are reasonable and that there aren't too many of them.

From what I hear around here sometimes there must be some that have 50 pages of rules at least! I don't even see how parents can remember them let alone follow them sometimes. I often hear the complaint that parents don't read the contract. I wouldn't either if I had to read a multi page contract and 30 plus pages of a handbook.

Just adding that to the conversation. uch

Laurel

I have a 10 page handbook and 1 page contract. I don't think we'd even need them if parents just used good common sense. But unfortunately there are those that will use you or cause something to happen that will make you add it to your handbook. I have a parent now that asks....is that in writing??? wth

[Lucy]

I am doing the 52 week money challenge as well! Only looking it over and seeing those high amounts every week in Nov/Dec. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that and instead I am doing it "bingo" style. I randomly choose an amount from $1-52 to put in my jar every week and cross that amount off. This week I made an extra $90 for taking a kid 2 extra days so I chose that to be a high dollar week for my jar. I am even a few weeks ahead!

I've heard of people do it backwards also. That way it starts to feel easier and easier as the year goes on, and you see the money rise a lot faster.

[Annalee]

I have a 10 page handbook and 1 page contract. I don't think we'd even need them if parents just used good common sense. But unfortunately there are those that will use you or cause something to happen that will make you add it to your handbook. I have a parent now that asks....is that in writing??? wth

I have learned through the years that my eyes will reflect my answer to a "silly" question from a parent. They usually answer themselves with the answer they know I would give. It really works! ::::::

[KidGrind]

Most of our goals are to provide for ourselves and/or our families whether it is for necessities or luxuries.

Too many providers allow fear of losing a client hold them hostage. Most parents aren’t dumb.

They KNOW they’re kids are sick.
They KNOW they’re being disrespectful.
They KNOW they’re late.
They KNOW they won’t or couldn’t do what we do day in & out. (One too many can’t handle 1 or 2 kids effectively.)

Due to a move across country, my career as a FCC Provider was put on an extended hold. My finances were SHOT after 10 months + of no income. When I reopened last year, I NEEDED CHILDREN in care.

I STILL interviewed.
I STILL went with the right fit.
I STILL declined or redirected parents.

1 infant enrolled full-time creating some financial relief. Infant 2 came about a month later. Now I could buy some moo moos that fit. Toddler enrolled. Life became really comfortable again which means for my family beyond basic needs. Recently a part-timer enrolled in January and another full-timer in February.

I don’t know the specifics of everyone's situation or area. What I will share is I work close with another provider. She is a quality provider & takes excellent care of the children. Yet, she is RULED by the dollar. Parents are rude to her. Parents dose & drop. Parents drop off their kids early. Parents pick up their kids late. Parents complain about her when they don’t get their way. I won’t EVEN take her DCKs as drop-ins. 2 of her families interviewed with me. One signed a contract with her and two weeks later schedules an interview with me. We interviewed. Once I told her my closing time and I don’t want her one minute late, she almost ran out my door. I giggled! Yet, the other DCP is racking up hundreds of dollars in late fees and is MISERABLE. The other DCM who interviewed with me wanted to go with me. She pushed for me to remain open later. I told her absolutely not! My couch time is sacred to me. She went with the other DCP who agreed to “work with her”. Two months later….a big fallout and the parent bashing her. It was constant early drop offs, late drop offs, and late pick ups. DCM dropped the DCK off vomitting on her day off. When asked to pick up her ill child, she requested a refund. Yep, I could’ve had those wonderful DCFs in my home. I sure did miss out on the drama.

I am not special. I just listen & watch people. I think we all have the ability to see trouble coming. I admit some DCFs are skilled in hiding it for a short period of time. It’s just sad to me that some DCPs mute or ignore their ability to avoid chaos for the dollar. Maybe some DCPs enjoy the chaos & drama. I don’t know.

None of my DCPs knew of my financial situation. I do not demonstrate fear of losing them by allowing ANY OF THEM to disrespect me continually. I do NOT address a situation or parent with fear of losing them or income. I definitely don’t think, “Did I make them mad, will they term?” If anything I think, “DCM/D can be mad if they want to be. I know they better get it together, term or get termed.” The song ‘Hit the Road Jack’ plays in my head.

Termination isn’t my first instinct. It’s my second. I don’t want chronic issues with a DCF. Either they can respect our business arrangement or they can move on. I hold up my end of the agreement. I expect them to do the same.

[Laurel]

I have a 10 page handbook and 1 page contract. I don't think we'd even need them if parents just used good common sense. But unfortunately there are those that will use you or cause something to happen that will make you add it to your handbook. I have a parent now that asks....is that in writing??? wth

I have a two and a half page contract and no handbook. I just tell people things and if they have a big problem with it they can always leave. My provider friend has one page of Guidelines and no handbook.

I feel like if one has a lot of written down things then they kind of paint themselves into a corner. If my parents don't like something first I try to compromise but if it is something I feel stongly about I just say "Well I'm sorry you feel that way but that is my rule here." I rarely have anyone question really as all I really require is the basics. Pay me, don't send more than a mildly ill child, come on time, etc. Once a parent starts I don't even think I ever use the word 'contract' with them. I just address it "as we have as problem" so this is what has to happen for things to be right kind of attitude.

If they would say "Is it written in your contract?" I'd say no but I can't think of everything that could possibly come up so I'm just telling you that Junior is too sick to stay or little Sally can't wear those tiny barrettes because baby Joey likes to put them in his mouth or I need to take the day off but I'm giving you plenty of notice, etc.

It works here.

Laurel

[Shell]

Most of our goals are to provide for ourselves and/or our families whether it is for necessities or luxuries.

Too many providers allow fear of losing a client hold them hostage. Most parents aren’t dumb.

They KNOW they’re kids are sick.
They KNOW they’re being disrespectful.
They KNOW they’re late.
They KNOW they won’t or couldn’t do what we do day in & out. (One too many can’t handle 1 or 2 kids effectively.)

Due to a move across country, my career as a FCC Provider was put on an extended hold. My finances were SHOT after 10 months + of no income. When I reopened last year, I NEEDED CHILDREN in care.

I STILL interviewed.
I STILL went with the right fit.
I STILL declined or redirected parents.

1 infant enrolled full-time creating some financial relief. Infant 2 came about a month later. Now I could buy some moo moos that fit. Toddler enrolled. Life became really comfortable again which means for my family beyond basic needs. Recently a part-timer enrolled in January and another full-timer in February.

I don’t know the specifics of everyone's situation or area. What I will share is I work close with another provider. She is a quality provider & takes excellent care of the children. Yet, she is RULED by the dollar. Parents are rude to her. Parents dose & drop. Parents drop off their kids early. Parents pick up their kids late. Parents complain about her when they don’t get their way. I won’t EVEN take her DCKs as drop-ins. 2 of her families interviewed with me. One signed a contract with her and two weeks later schedules an interview with me. We interviewed. Once I told her my closing time and I don’t want her one minute late, she almost ran out my door. I giggled! Yet, the other DCP is racking up hundreds of dollars in late fees and is MISERABLE. The other DCM who interviewed with me wanted to go with me. She pushed for me to remain open later. I told her absolutely not! My couch time is sacred to me. She went with the other DCP who agreed to “work with her”. Two months later….a big fallout and the parent bashing her. It was constant early drop offs, late drop offs, and late pick ups. DCM dropped the DCK off vomitting on her day off. When asked to pick up her ill child, she requested a refund. Yep, I could’ve had those wonderful DCFs in my home. I sure did miss out on the drama.

I am not special. I just listen & watch people. I think we all have the ability to see trouble coming. I admit some DCFs are skilled in hiding it for a short period of time. It’s just sad to me that some DCPs mute or ignore their ability to avoid chaos for the dollar. Maybe some DCPs enjoy the chaos & drama. I don’t know.

None of my DCPs knew of my financial situation. I do not demonstrate fear of losing them by allowing ANY OF THEM to disrespect me continually. I do NOT address a situation or parent with fear of losing them or income. I definitely don’t think, “Did I make them mad, will they term?” If anything I think, “DCM/D can be mad if they want to be. I know they better get it together, term or get termed.” The song ‘Hit the Road Jack’ plays in my head.

Termination isn’t my first instinct. It’s my second. I don’t want chronic issues with a DCF. Either they can respect our business arrangement or they can move on. I hold up my end of the agreement. I expect them to do the same.

This is fantastic advice-thanks for sharing. I have one family (I often post about on here) that is a bit of a headache. The thing is, I try and figure out whether or not the things they do are deal breakers, or am I just being picky? Over the years, I have become firm with my new families, and don't have any of the issues I have with this one family that has been here from the start. I think they know they are the only full timers, and so they push buttons. Some days, I am like, "that's it- they are out of here", and other days, I'm like, "Is it really that bad?" They are the type (similar to a child) that will follow rules when you crack down on them, but it gets to be annoying having to always remind them. I wonder if dcm is just oblivious, or if it's intentional?

[SunshineMama]

I feel like I am 1 family away from being able to term comfortably, but I am having trouble finding a family that fits the schedule that I want to work. It is terrible to feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep people from leaving. I generally have good families, but there is one that is just awful. (The parents, not the child). I keep them for the child, who is neglected at home- not enough to have social services called, but right on the line. I just cant let him go, but I'm okay with that for now.

[mountainside13]

I was in that boat a few weeks ago with one family and another family a few weeks before. It cut my income in half, I was freaking out because we were about to start buying a home but now that it is done I am so much happier, less stress because now I don't have to deal with those rude parents anymore! I filled one spot already and my last spot the child will start on the 24th. Back on track!