Threatening to Term When I Won't Give Special Treatment?

[rosieteddy]

I also found myself in athe same type of position.I bent rules /policies for one client.Then others noticed the differances ,that lead to a lot of back pedalling on my part.I had to be firm and point out the policies and follow through. It was hard but I knew it was what I had to do.There could be a compromise ,you could ask for half payment of vacation week with this weeks tuition and let them pay second half with tuition due week back.That way you are giving them a chance to catch up.If she threatens leaving I would ask for your two weeks notice with the first week being their vacation.I bet she will decide to stay ,but if not start looking to fill the spot.Parents should not treat you badly. I had a parent once (husbands cousin) who when realizing I had paid vacation the next week screamed at me left her child and slammed the door. I promptly wrote her a letter and gave it to her husband at pick-up.I stated how wonderful that she could trust me so well not to take out her behavior on her child (Never would ,just saying) .She was quite contrite the next day especially as she knew she was wrong. I always say our policies are only good if we enforce them. Good luck

[daycare]

I think that when most providers are new or are in a financial situation they often find themselves in situations like this.

I have found that with some people respect is demanded from you. I have learned this the hard way, but once I started putting my foot down and mean business, families looked at me in a more professional manor and started following my policies more. the more I said no, the more I felt better about taking control of my business. Parents realized that I was the one in charge. The more I did it, the better I got at it and the easier it was for me to let everyone know that I am a business woman that owns her own company and requires each family to abide by my policies and rules.

Parents don't have to like it and they don't have to come here.

I am the sole provider for my family so it kills me to have to always stand my ground, but no amount of money is worth being mistreated and taken advantage of.

[spud912]

My handbook states VERY clearly what "group care" means.

It says:

[I]ABC Child Care is a group child care and does not have sufficient staff or means to provide individualized child care services.

Any requests for specialized care outside the normal array of services I provide must be conducive to group care and cannot challenge any policy within this handbook.

Requests for specialized care are subject to provider approval and subject to a rate increase for additional of "special services".[/I]


Right above that statement it says:

"Please remember that I, as a child care provider, own my business and offer services for a fee.

I set my own guidelines, policies and decide which services to offer.

You, as the parent, must decide if the services I offer meet your needs."

If I were you, the next time mom asks for anything outside your normal policies, I would politely decline and simply say "I'm sorry that does not work for me." or "If my services no longer meet your needs, please remember to submit notice of withdrawl as outlined in my policies."


I TOTALLY understand NEEDING the income but unless you are going to work for her (for that income) then you have to stand your ground.

BIG difference between owning and running your own business according to your policies and simply being a family's employee.

Niiice . I lovethis your policies, Blackcat!

[Starburst]

I put in my (future) handbook under vacations/sick days (not exact words but the basic jist of it):
Steady payments help to keep the child care home running and up to code as well as helping the provider to be able to keep current on training and licensing (if you are licensed/registered). The provider will be taking 1 week paid vacation every year and will close with pay on federal holidays, these occasional vacations help the provider to refresh and help to avoid burn out. To keep a spot available for your child for your vacations, full payment is also required.

[Mister Sir Husband]

I agree with most everyone else.. if mom tells me to do it her way or she's pulling kid, fine. I will help her load her car and waive the 2 weeks notice. You want to threaten to pull your kid? Its effective in about 30 seconds from now. Now granted you said you really can't afford to lose the income, and if this is really that serious of an issue (like you have absolute zero chance of feeding your family without her).. I'd still show her the door, and give whatever discount you need to (if you have to).. to the next family who calls for the spot. Don't give her the satisfaction of bullying you and winning.

[mia]

I agree with most everyone else.. if mom tells me to do it her way or she's pulling kid, fine. I will help her load her car and waive the 2 weeks notice. You want to threaten to pull your kid? Its effective in about 30 seconds from now. Now granted you said you really can't afford to lose the income, and if this is really that serious of an issue (like you have absolute zero chance of feeding your family without her).. I'd still show her the door, and give whatever discount you need to (if you have to).. to the next family who calls for the spot. Don't give her the satisfaction of bullying you and winning.

[Crazy8]

I agree with most everyone else.. if mom tells me to do it her way or she's pulling kid, fine. I will help her load her car and waive the 2 weeks notice. You want to threaten to pull your kid? Its effective in about 30 seconds from now. Now granted you said you really can't afford to lose the income, and if this is really that serious of an issue (like you have absolute zero chance of feeding your family without her).. I'd still show her the door, and give whatever discount you need to (if you have to).. to the next family who calls for the spot. Don't give her the satisfaction of bullying you and winning.

AMEN. You are absolutely letting her bully you and only you can put a stop to it. I understand financial restraints, believe me, I am currently surviving on $200 a week LESS than I ever expected to due to children leaving and I can't find replacements (because they were my older ones, baby spots are full and that's all I get calls for). Where there is a will there is a way. Cut your budget to bear bones if need be but I can almost guarantee that mom is bluffing and when faced with having no childcare effective immediately her attitude will change and if it doesn't just start interviewing and find that replacement! Maybe you'll have to go a few weeks without that income, only you know if you can truly survive without it, but I think often we think "I need the money" because we are used to that money but its amazing how we can survive on less.

[Unregistered]

I have DCM who keeps making special requests to skip following policy and if I say no she threatens to pull her child and starts attacking my character. This has happened twice already. Now I'm expecting another request for free vacation and I honestly cannot afford to let them skip a week of payment, but I also cannot afford for them to pull either. I really don't like that this Mom has bullied me into a corner and she knows it so she keeps making these requests.

I know this is my fault for letting it happen in the first place, but she started the requesting/threatening when I was very vulnerable, I had just had a baby, had reopened my daycare, only had a couple kids and wasn't making enough, and being scared of not being able to provide for my new baby I gave in and now she's been continuing the same behavior.

I cannot afford to let this family go...what do I do?

You CAN'T AFFORD NOT to get rid of her. Start looking for other clients, get them signed w/ a deposit, and let her go. Be prepared for backlash, and make sure if you can give notice, that you do it in writing and then contact licensing right before you hand her the letter.

Also, call the woman's bluff. Tell her you cannot do any more special and when she yells at you or tries to talk smack, say nothing to her at all, pack her bags for her and hand them to her along with her child and let her go. (Then call licensing and let them know you did so, in case she tries to make up a story)

You will pay MORE in the long run if you keep her than if you let her go. Trust me.

[Maria2013]

Interview and replace, immediately.

[Babyluver21]

Update?

[julie]

Stand firm. I agree with the other posters that a parent that makes allegations is waaaaaaay too much of a liability to keep. Moreso than any meager income she could possibly be bringing in for y.u Take the weekend and see what you can remove out of your budget. Then tell this woman that you need her to pay for vacation as that is in the contract SHE signed, and if it doesn't work for her then you will take this as the start of her two week notice which also needs to be paid. Then take the week she is on vacation and try like hell to fill the spot. I'd rather live on peanut butter sandwiches for months rather than be mistreated like that day after day. She thinks she has you over a barrel. Don't let the door hit her on the way out.

[LadyPearl]

If she knows money is an issue for you then she is going to keep holding it over your head. I would advertise and term when I found a replacement. A respectful family will be more than happy to take the spot!

[My3cents]

I have DCM who keeps making special requests to skip following policy and if I say no she threatens to pull her child and starts attacking my character. This has happened twice already. Now I'm expecting another request for free vacation and I honestly cannot afford to let them skip a week of payment, but I also cannot afford for them to pull either. I really don't like that this Mom has bullied me into a corner and she knows it so she keeps making these requests.

I know this is my fault for letting it happen in the first place, but she started the requesting/threatening when I was very vulnerable, I had just had a baby, had reopened my daycare, only had a couple kids and wasn't making enough, and being scared of not being able to provide for my new baby I gave in and now she's been continuing the same behavior.

I cannot afford to let this family go...what do I do?

you follow your policy and let the client decide- Are you the boss of your business or is the client the boss? Your client will not stay with you forever. The child will phase out of your program as some point. You will have to find other clients to keep your business going. Your client is not a forever sure bet is my point. She can up and leave you at any whims notice for any reason or no notice. Stick to your policies and you will grow a strong respected daycare. Running your business on being scared is asking to run your business to the ground.

If I were you I would stick to my policies and if she decides to up and leave you over it so be it. You will make it. You will also attract clients that will value the service you offer.

I wish you the best-

[My3cents]

Honestly Hold your ground and see what happens. I had a family that did this same thing to me with everything. Naps, lunch, pick up, drop off, part time, full time, money and so on and so on. I spent a YEAR working with them and caving because I was worried about loosing money and last month they brought her and told me that they didn't have the money to pay me and they would pay me when they got there taxes back in APRIL. When I held my ground, they pulled her. Life is SO much better now! there is no money in the world that you could pay me to put up with that again and I will NEVER let a parent do that to me again! But I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Good luck. You and your business is so much better then letting this mom do that to you. :hug:

[My3cents]

I definitely will. Do I give in to the requests until I can replace them? I was thinking of offering to discount tuition for their vacation week by the cost of feeding their child which Is $25/week.

no way- Stick to your policy. How can you depend upon an income playing that game? Its one thing to help someone out that is in a true need and you being in a place to do that, but your starting out, and are working to support your family. No no and no- Wishy washy is not good- your inviting her to negotiate- My business is not negotiable. I need income to do what I do and for the reason I do it the most-