Stepping in at Pickup

[blandino]

Out of 12 enrolled children, 10/11 pickups occur during the time frame of 5:00-5:30. The kids were misbehaving when parents arrived, and the whole thing was like a circus. It was way to chaotic, so after snack, our kids (18m+) all sit at the table and do an activity. The gate is shut between the eating area and playrooms, so that we can clean and it stays clean.

Well no matter what the activity, a few kids are really exemplifying Nannyde's "Changing of the Gaurds", and being horrible when parents arrive. Being at the table we have pretty much stripped most opportunities to break rules at pickup. They have shoes on, and are ready to go - the parents only need to get their coats on. Well, now 3 of my kids are refusing to leave when parents come. The parent sits there and says "come on, it's time to go" 5 times, and one even tells her son he can play for 5 more minutes after he shouts "No" at her.

I am over it. I don't like having the parents stand there for so long, and the other kids misbehave. Would it be to much if when parents say "it's time to go", and the child refuses for me to take the toys away and tell them "At daycare we listen to grown ups, DCK mom says it's time to go". That is how I would handle it at any time during the day, IF they attempted to try it - which wouldn't happen because they know better.

But I always wait for the parent to step in, and they just don't...

[daycarediva]

I encourage/gush when parents arrive, "oh dck look! It's mommy! Hi mommy! Dck was so excited to tell you _____! Everyone say bye to Joey! Bye Joey! I'll see you tomorrow!" And guide/carry over to parent if need be.

[MsLaura529]

I don't see anything wrong with doing that. I have had to actually carry kids over to their parents at pick up and hold them there while their mpm/dad put their coat and boots on. I dread pick up time with some of the kids, it makes me feel so awkward having to step in and "parent" in front of their own parent, but it needs to be done.

[CraftyMom]

Good question, I have a tough time with this too, waiting for parents to step up and take over. At pick up time it's like someone flips a switch when the kids see their parents, complete attitude change usually for the worst

[TwinKristi]

When we have had that problem I do what the others do as well and "Oh yay! Mommy's here! Get your "blank" and let's give mom a hug!" Blablabla... No 5 more minutes crud!

[JLH]

I often times have to step in and "help" to get children to leave. I have one child that I go through that with nearly every day. It doesn't get any less awkward either. The good news though, is that mom seems to appreciate the help because, although she plays into it, I know she is also embarrassed by it. Having their coats and shoes on and doing a table activity really does help. We do that a lot. Also, if you can, playing outside at pick up will help, and guiding the child by himself to the front door when mom comes to pick up so there are no distractions because the rest of the kids are still outside with a helper. Good luck!

[spinnymarie]

I agree that I shut it down as fast as possible - and another thing that helps is encouraging a little 'competition' at leaving time. "Oh, I noticed yesterday that So-n-so was SUPER fast at getting her coat on and getting in the car with her mom yesterday! I wonder who will be the fastest today! Johnny, will you be the fastest?"

[Lil'DinoEggs]

I am sure I read it on here before but when you pick up your kid, it is time to leave. I intervene. If they are hiding I ask if they want to jump or fly to mom and dad, then I make a physical barrier so they do not get through. If parents are arguing with kids to get whatever on I will physically open the door and escort them out. This way there is no distractions for the kids, I don't have to hear how the parent continues to "ask" their child to get ready, and so the parents understand then when they sign their child out, they need to leave. Surprisingly, parents have never said anything and usually the kid is faster putting their stuff on next time.

[Hunni Bee]

I have a couple kids who do this daily. I had to find my backbone quick with this because the parents will just let it escalate...

The ones I know will do it I remind them of what I want them to do about 30 minutes before the parents get there (when mommy gets here, I want you to get your coat on and leave quickly and nicely). If they still try it and the parent does nothing, I "help" - put their coat on, take toys away, guide them out the door. I even took one little stinker out to his car after too many "no!!"'s.

So nope, not to much at all. Nobody wants to deal with that last thing after a long day. Go home with yo MAMA!!

[Josiegirl]

What if you've got a very strong willed little dck who starts screaming?

I would love to have the kids all ready to go when parents arrive but sometimes pick up times vary quite a bit.

[providerandmomof4]

OMG.... I used to have this problem, and still do if I let my guard down. I posted about one particularly hard little guy a while back and everyone helped me a lot. Nannyde really nailed my situation too, with the changing of the guard. So....I started getting the dcb (and his sis) ready and when mom pulls up, I have the door locked. The kids are escorted to, and out the door to parent. His mom does not get to come into my house. The problems at pick up stopped. It was amazing to me! So I let my guard down cause little guy was doing so well, but here the last few days he started acting up when dad came in to get him. So Friday...once again, door was locked and the minute I told kids their dad was here, he started yelling, "NO!" No is right. I told him that I was not having this behavior again, and dcb was escorted to and out the door to dad. Dad always looks a little weird when I escort them out, but I really don't care if he doesn't understand that I'm not putting up with the ridiculousness out of his child, even if he's willing to.
Really? I wonder if dcb will ever allow his parents to come in and him act right.

[Maria2013]

Would it be to much if when parents say "it's time to go", and the child refuses for me to take the toys away and tell them "At daycare we listen to grown ups, DCK mom says it's time to go". That is how I would handle it at any time during the day, IF they attempted to try it - which wouldn't happen because they know better.

But I always wait for the parent to step in, and they just don't...

I do the same thing and I really don't care if parents are bothered by it, I've had damage done and kids injured at pick up so I no longer let things escalate, if parents can't make the kids listen I step in, I feel I have all the right to.