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Ok, so one of my parents keeps doing this to her son. They come in and he is FINE. She grabs on to him and is squeezing him saying "don't cry! Don't cry!" Then she looks at me and says ""what am I going to do?" Ok this is just madness. I have watched ALL of her children starting with her daughter who is now 16, her middle son who I still have after school and this one who is just over a year. This crazy behavior finally was too much today. So when she did this and then asked I said I guess you should quit your job and go on welfare and stay home with him. She starred at me like I was an alien! I told her her son was fine just like all her other children were and that I wasn't going to watch her weirdness any longer. That he honestly stopped crying as soon as she shut the door. Of course she didn't believe me so I said ok watch this. I got my cell phone and told her to watch a video I was going to send her in my driveway! Yep I made a video of her leaving and as soon as she left he smiled and started to play. She watched and of course got kind of pissy. I told her she had two options, she could bring him and drop off quickly or term but no more squeezing and begging for him to stop crying. It's like she wants him to be traumatized by her leaving.
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I have a mom like this, girl is 19 mo, been here 5 months. Mom will repeat "bye I'm leaving, give me another hug, ok bye, I'm leaving now, bye, do you need another kiss, ok bye, the girl just waves and says bye. I know it's super hard to leave your kids, i'd have a hard time too. I think she just wants to know that her daughter will miss her, but let's not instill separation anxiety where there is none . Then she talks about how sad she gets when the girl cries. One time I said "but she doesn't cry, she hasn't in months" she looked surprised and said really? Not at all? Even when I walk out? Sorry to say but no. This is good it means she's comfortable and happy. Poor mom was devastated . I feel for her though. I'm sure my daycare moms would love to stay home with their kids. It's not easy, but these types of moms are letting their own needs and feelings interfere with the child adapting and I'm sure it's confusing for the child. If it continues I will have to say something gently. I did once, the girl was crying (unusual for her) at arrival, mom says ok I'll lay on the couch with you for a few minutes until you stop crying. I spoke up and said actually it's best if you don't. I'll bring her to lay down she'll be fine. Mom was shocked. The girl came to me willingly and stopped crying before mom left. Moms way would have prolonged the inevitable and she likely would have cried all over again when she finally left. I do understand though, I'm sure she feels guilty for having to work all the time and wants to feel needed. I'm sure it's the same for your mom, especially if this is her last child. They grow so fast and she probably feels like she's missing so much everyday, because she is unfortunately. -
i tell parents it is always harder on you than it is the kids.
I don't do well when parents try this. If I even catch wind of it, I will start to push them out the door. walk over say ok johnny what book do you want to color in or lets go chose a game and I walk away with them.
I tell parents if you need to get in extra love and hugs with your kid, do it before you get here. When you are here it's off like a band-aide. quick and painless for everyone.
I don't know if I would have said those words, but some people drive us to places we never thought we would go.Comment
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Nope, not too crazy at all. That was a dose of reality, and she really needed it. I'm not saying she is going to be happy about it.
I have some DCMs like that. Children come in, play and are excited. Then the DCMs say "bye" "I love you" at least 5 times, until the child is upset that they are leaving.Comment
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Here's a PERFECT example showing how a mom WANTS her kid to cry when she drops her off. It's in 3 parts, but they're only like 30 seconds each. Part 1 is the set up. Mom takes her the first day, and is actually disappointed that the girl doesn't cry. Mom just won't be happy until Princess cries at drop off.
Part 1. Watch it starting at the 3:48 mark, until 4:20: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwSDf7abBh0
Part 2 starts at 3:12 and goes to 4:52 (ends with Mom excitedly and proudly saying, "you are SO gonna cry tomorrow!"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HE5Chpf7Gc
And Part 3 (same video as Part 2) starts at 6:06 and goes to 6:52. Mom is disappointed again, but then kid gives her a hug and she boasts to another mom, "See, she can't let me go!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HE5Chpf7Gc
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It's the "Mom loves baby" show. happyfaceComment
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I use to have parents like that, but I put an end to it. The first day a new kid stops crying when mom leaves, she gets a pic of him smiling before her seat belt is even on. One mom texted back "THAT LITTLE ****!!"Comment
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I LOVE texting pics and videos for new moms. This ends the crazy drop offs quickly. I do not let moms play that game here.Comment
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I have a mom like this with her 2.5 year old. Still babies her like crazy (with everything, but that's a whole other issue) and does the "okay, mommy has to leave. Okay one more hug. Okay one more kiss." On repeat for 15 mins. So of course by the time she does leave, DCG is allllll worked up. Tried sending a pic, tried distracting and ignoring mom but she totally feeds into it. Today I just sat her back down at the kids table for snack and said "nope, mommy has to leave." And pointedly ignored DCM. Of course DCG screamed for 15 mins, but she screams about everything when she doesn't get her way. (She tried to kick me in the face yesterday for putting her in time out after having a total meltdown because she decided she wanted a toy that another DCK had across the room.)Comment
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