10 Year Old's Bad Behavior - Term?

[Christina]

We have a family with a full time infant, and 2 after school boys (ages 6 and 10). I wish we could get rid of the 10 year old!!! His elementary school has an after school program and I'm thinking of asking the mom to take him there instead (the school said they thought he should go there, not sure why they said that, but she said no). She doesn't pay anything out of pocket here bc they get the government funding, but I don't think the school charges either. If it's not much I'd almost help pay it to get him out of here but not lose the other two.

He's absolutely horrible! He pushes kids, back talks, refuses to do extra homework when in time out, tries to get the preschoolers to give him toys when he's in time out.....it's like if he's in a bad mood or whatever he's HORRIBLE!!! Sometimes he can be okay, and on a few occasions in the past month he's been here he has been pleasant enough, but 80% of the time he's getting in trouble. His mom knows it too and says he'll get in trouble at home, but obviously that hasn't helped yet. We had a family stop by for a visit Friday and were supposed to start today but didn't show up. I'm hoping and praying it wasn't because of his horrible behavior (saying "freaking" over and over when they were here). If we lost them because of him it would be better to term the 3 of them and take this new family of 2. I just hate to do that to his mom because she is trying, but it's not worth the stress on me every day after school.

I swear once these horrible temperatures go away and we can go outside life will be so much better!!!!

[Play Care]

I would absolutely let mom know that the 10 year old has outgrown your care and you will no longer be able to provide care for him after two weeks. Suggest the school program and give her the number to your child care resource and referral agency for other alternatives.

Try to do it in a way that makes it about what's best for the child and how you want the best for him, etc. which might help soften the blow. She may still be upset but let's be honest, you need to do what's best for your program. Keeping a child of that age who does not have the best behavior is a time bomb. He could seriously hurt one of the littles and you risk losing a lot.

[TwinKristi]

I have a 10yr old with some behavior issues. Not as bad as you're describing but the only reason I'm keeping him is that it's my DS's BFF since kinder! Ugh! We also have an after school program and another friend of his goes there, if not a few, so I'm just not sure what the deal is. But it his behavior got that bad I would talk to mom. I would bet he doesn't even WANT to be there with you either. Why force it!?

[Cat Herder]

I get that this is a vent and you are not looking for advice.

I do have two questions, though.


1. Is time out normally used for 10 year olds?

2. Are you giving him extra homework or is the school giving it to him?

I have never had official training in school aged care, so do not know what is considered "appropriate" discipline for that age group, now.

[nannyde]

Has he been kicked out of the after school program?

[childcaremom]

Are there other kids his age in your program? I would think he is super bored. Time for him to move on, imho. He needs to be around kids his own age.

[daycarediva]

Are there other kids his age in your program? I would think he is super bored. Time for him to move on, imho. He needs to be around kids his own age.

Yup. Kids are naughtier when bored. Especially SA.


I would broach it to Mom as what is best for him. HE needs to be around peers. HE is bored with our room set up/toy choices.

It's true, you just aren't highlighting behavior as a motivating factor, and she will probably leave the other two with you.

I have a SA age cut off at 8. I keep them until summer after they turn 8, IF they are a good fit for my program. If not, they need SA care elsewhere. The dcb I currently have is 7, and will NOT make it to 8. Mom keeps hinting that he stay LONGER. I will be having the same conversation before June of this year.