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Funerals
So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
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My dad passed away in 2002. At that time I was charging 52 weeks a yr, but had not specifically written "funerals" in my contract with emergency days. I had a dcp call my parents and try to get them not to pay and had a couple join her. Amidst my traumatic life full of grief, my backbone said "you ALL pay or else"....They all paid, but the relationship was never the same and they left shortly thereafter. I now have funerals listed in with my emergency days, but regardless my 52 weeks charging should suffice.
Funny thing, I saw that parent later on and she apologized because her brother had recently passed away and she said she knew now how I felt......What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
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I am so sorry for your loss!!! If it's ok, my prayers are with you and your family!! If you have a good relationship with your parents I would give them a heads up and tell them that when you know the date you will let them know. If it's not a good relationship I would wait until you know the date before you say anything.
I am livid for you that a parent did that to you!!! If that happened to me I would still be angry and hold a grudge 12 years later. I'm sorry you lost your dad!!My dad passed away in 2002. At that time I was charging 52 weeks a yr, but had not specifically written "funerals" in my contract with emergency days. I had a dcp call my parents and try to get them not to pay and had a couple join her. Amidst my traumatic life full of grief, my backbone said "you ALL pay or else"....They all paid, but the relationship was never the same and they left shortly thereafter. I now have funerals listed in with my funeral days, but regardless my 52 weeks charging should suffice.
Funny thing, I saw that parent later on and she apologized because her brother had recently passed away and she said she knew now how I felt......What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!Comment
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Your father passed away and families tried to get out of paying you? Beyond disgusting! I would have termed right then and there. How horrible.Comment
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After a tough couple of years I added 3 days bearevement for immediate family. All others I use extra personal days.It is hard though ,my good friends mother passed this week.I did not feel I could take the day.I did go to the wake last night. I am sorry for your loss.I would give the parents a heads up today.Let them know you will at least need the funeral day off . NanComment
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I'm sorry for your loss!
I would let the families know as soon as possible. "Due to a death in my family, I will be closing one day next week to attend the funeral. I will let you know as soon as I find out more info." That way, they can start thinking about plans for the day(s) you need.
If they are upset about you closing or upset about paying, they will get over it. Don't let them get to you. They should have backup care in place, and if they don't then that's poor planning on their part.Comment
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I am so sorry for your loss. I had three funerals for close friends and family this week. I missed one (dh went without me) but took today off to go to two others. I approached everyone as soon as I knew and asked if they could help me out so I could attend. My families were all very good about it and most will likely pay me although I won't force it. Of course there always seems like there is that one family who is put out whether you ask, tell, give lots of notice or no notice. These types of families just don't do alternate care well, no matter how you approach it. In those cases, you just close and apologize for the inconvenience. It is all you can or need to do. Family first.
If asked in these situations if payment is due, I usually just tell them that many of my families will to be kind and I appreciate it, but I know that others won't feel they should have to, so I let them decide. Usually they end up worried they will be the only ones to be difficult so they just pay their usual amount. Sometimes I think it feels less burdensome to parents if they feel it is an option, not a requirement kwim?
I don't have a clause about these situations, and they come up infrequently so I treat them like sicknesses for the most part, knowing from the get go that I may or not get paid. I can usually count on at least partial payment and always try to repay the kind gesture to those families should they ever have an unusual request in the future. It's very much a what comes around goes around system, and we all seem to be on the same page of thinking with that right now and I am grateful for that.Comment
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Sorry for your loss! I would wait until you know the arrangements before telling them. For many I have just gone to the wake in the evening and not the funeral just to avoid issues, but for a close family member I would let them know as soon as you know the day you will need. If you have a good relationship you could give the heads up early and just let them know you will give the exact day as soon as you know it.
My first client years ago left a very bad taste in my mouth… I got a call in the middle of the day that my SIL would most likely not make it thru the night. I called DH to head up there from work (his sister) and said I would get there as soon as I could. I only had 2 kids from one family so called their mom and asked if she could pick them up early. I got hell from her saying how she's gonna lose her job for taking so many days, blah blah blah, but she still came and got them. Mind you she had just taken a day off earlier that week, kids came to me, so she could go to Six Flags with friends. She did that often enough for me to be pissed about her telling me my closing early ONCE was going to jeopardize her job. My SIL passed away that evening, so I called her and told her I would be open next day, but would need such and such days off. She said don't worry about it - I enrolled them in a daycare center, they start tomorrow. Never heard from her again and NEVER took another subsidy family after that either.Comment
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So I found out last night funeral is Tuesday which is slow day only have 4 parents 2 answered back other 2 haven't,it really bothers me when u send out messages and get no response it's so rude! But oh well I should try that when I get messages from them to add days or come earlier or running late or the list can go on and on!Comment
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