DCP Calling Others...What Should I Do

[Maria2013]

I would not term over this. I think doing that will only fuel the fire. It is already coming to an end.

i would call or email the mother and let her know that you are aware of the phone calls. try to sympathize with her saying that you understand that she feels frustrated and maybe you were looking to vent, but that if there is ever an issue, it needs to be brought to your attention. I might add I expect each family to be able to communicate with me at all times if/when ever there are issues. Building trusting relationships here is important. What happens with you and her is no one else business and that she needs to only discuss any matters. You are running a business and these are the rules that each family has agreed to at the time of enrollment.

Let her know if there are any issues that you can address and that if she has any issues, she needs to take them up with you. I would say this and let it go. they are already on their way out.

[Unregistered]

This got me thinking about how I am communicating with my daycare parents. I occasionally send out emails as a group email, which lists everyone'e email address.

Should I be sending these out under blind copy instead? Am I violating parent's privacy by listing everyone's email address? Also, that would be a way for a disgruntled parent to contact each other, as I know they do not know each other's last names....

What do you all do?

[itlw8]

she was upset so she was trying to hurt you or drum up business for her sisters childcare

[KidGrind]

she was upset so she was trying to hurt you or drum up business for her sisters childcare

[Blackcat31]

I would term immediately for any family that behaved in that manner.

I do NOT tolerate disrespect and I certainly would not continue to provide care to a family that felt the need to badmouth me in any way.

I just experienced a VERY uncomfortable on-the-spot termination yesterday for these very reasons. The parent was floored that I would go so far as to term her for a few bad words she said.

I simply told her the words are untrue, the fact that they were behind my back were unacceptable and that I do not tolerate ANYONE trash talking me....especially about issues that were not brought to my attention first.

The behavior of parents these days towards their providers is astounding and I am continually amazed at the things parents will do or say about the person they are trusting to care for their child.

Seriously makes me doubt everyone now days and that in and of itself is sad.

[cheerfuldom]

she was upset so she was trying to hurt you or drum up business for her sisters childcare

good point!!

[cheerfuldom]

I would term immediately for any family that behaved in that manner.

I do NOT tolerate disrespect and I certainly would not continue to provide care to a family that felt the need to badmouth me in any way.

I just experienced a VERY uncomfortable on-the-spot termination yesterday for these very reasons. The parent was floored that I would go so far as to term her for a few bad words she said.

I simply told her the words are untrue, the fact that they were behind my back were unacceptable and that I do not tolerate ANYONE trash talking me....especially about issues that were not brought to my attention first.

The behavior of parents these days towards their providers is astounding and I am continually amazed at the things parents will do or say about the person they are trusting to care for their child.

Seriously makes me doubt everyone now days and that in and of itself is sad.

really? wow. what an awful day for you as well. Do you mind if I ask what the issue was regarding?

It is very frustrating when parents complain with talking to us and giving us the chance to remedy the situation first.

[Scout]

nevermind!

[mountainside13]

This got me thinking about how I am communicating with my daycare parents. I occasionally send out emails as a group email, which lists everyone'e email address.

Should I be sending these out under blind copy instead? Am I violating parent's privacy by listing everyone's email address? Also, that would be a way for a disgruntled parent to contact each other, as I know they do not know each other's last names....

What do you all do?

I would send messages out individually.

[Babyluver21]

So DCD just came in and told me that another DCM had called him/his wife last night to complain about me. He wasn't sure of exact complaints, something along the lines of no communication on my part.
This mom was just here until she could get her boy into sisters daycare, started Dec, leaving at end of month. She's the first one here in the morning and always comes a couple of minutes after closing. I have missed countless sporting events of DS because of this (when you have to leave at 445, you have to leave, you ladies know how it is) so family has taken off without me.
So last night she texts that she's going to be late and ends of showing up almost an hour late. I didn't see her as her husband showed up at the same time and came in to get DCB. He mumbled something about "going to have a talk with his wife, she called me.." Whatever. So I ran to car, had to wait for her to move and left.
This morning she apologized and I was of course pretty blunt about all the lates and missing my class last night, and I 'accidentally' insinuated I only have to deal with this crap for one more week, I'm bad for verbal diarreah.
DCM came to pick up a little early today, I faked good spirits, DCB so funny today blah blah blah. And then other DCD told me about phone call last night and I'm beyond shocked. I can't wrap my head around why she'd feel the need to trash me to long term clients because she was late.
So what should I do? Is there liability issues by immediate termination or by waiting out the week. And I should add that she did try calling another DCP but she never accepted the call, thank god I only gave her two reference numbers.

I would term!!! Her badmouthing you to other parents is unacceptable, especially considering that your other clients have been very happy and her only reason she's not is because you brought up the late policy. Maybe you told her off a little bit when you said "I only have to deal with latness one more week " (or whatever the actual verbiage is) but honestly, you DON'T have to deal with it AT ALL. She clearly does not respect you and honestly, kinda looks like she's trying to draw in your other parents to her sister's child care.

[Play Care]

I would term immediately. Then I would have a short explanation to all parents so that it has been addressed directly and respectfully to them, even if they have not been called yet because they may hear about it in the future.

"Jen, I wanted to let you know that Kim and her daughter Ava will not longer be with our group. It is my understanding that she was calling parents complaining about my services while I was working with this family. Clearly she was not happy here so I did go ahead and end that relationship. If you ever have any concerns about anything that another parent tries to say or involved you in, I would appreciate the chance to discuss any concerns you might have. I hope that after X years of working with you, my reputation would speak for itself"

I would not ever keep a parent who was bad mouthing me to other clients.

[Blackcat31]

really? wow. what an awful day for you as well. Do you mind if I ask what the issue was regarding?

It is very frustrating when parents complain with talking to us and giving us the chance to remedy the situation first.

This family has been in care for over a year.
Two kids ages 2 and 4. Full time M-F.

Youngest has some severe dietary issues. Extreme diarrhea and "nasty" diapers multiple times a day. Mom and I had been working on it together.

I had mom go see her doctor and have some allergy testing done (we thought milk-dairy was issue) but all testing came back normal. No allergies, intolerances and/or insensitivities.

I started a food journal and asked mom to do the same.

It came to my attention accidentally that mom had been giving her child juice in extreme amounts in place of ALL beverages, including water. When confronted with it, she claimed her Dr told her to do so.

Ultimately after a ton of back and forth and a few lies nothing resolved so I just told mom to get a special diet statement from her pediatrician. Mom filled the form out herself, stating her doctor refused to do so. I told her I couldnt allow her to forge the Dr's info and she basically said "No one wil know"..

I still refused and said child will be served same foods as everyone else and would be sent home for any diarrhea episodes. Daily if necessary.

Mom started searching for new care (she didnt know I knew though) which was fine with me so she couldve said so but thats moot anyways.

She interviewed with several gals I know. One in particular communicated via text/email with mom. Provider sent me the conversations stating she felt I needed to see them since DCM was trashing me and making false statements.

The conversation was absolutely ridiculous and so far from truth. I wouldve let it go because it is rarely worth the hassle with people like that but she stated in one email she was going to report me for failing to address her child's dietary needs and I ignored her Dr's orders.

There was more trival lies said but those lies define her character not mine but hell if I was going to stand for her stating I was neglecting her child.

I document everything so I gathered my info e-mailed my licensor, typed up a term letter, packed her children's belongings, called my DS to have present (just in case) and hit record on my video camera when she walked in for pick up.

She was shocked and did lots of denying and back tracking but left peacefully.

She tried texting a few times last night but I have not replied.

Stuff like this scars my faith in humanity.

[cheerfuldom]

This family has been in care for over a year.
Two kids ages 2 and 4. Full time M-F.

Youngest has some severe dietary issues. Extreme diarrhea and "nasty" diapers multiple times a day. Mom and I had been working on it together.

I had mom go see her doctor and have some allergy testing done (we thought milk-dairy was issue) but all testing came back normal. No allergies, intolerances and/or insensitivities.

I started a food journal and asked mom to do the same.

It came to my attention accidentally that mom had been giving her child juice in extreme amounts in place of ALL beverages, including water. When confronted with it, she claimed her Dr told her to do so.

Ultimately after a ton of back and forth and a few lies nothing resolved so I just told mom to get a special diet statement from her pediatrician. Mom filled the form out herself, stating her doctor refused to do so. I told her I couldnt allow her to forge the Dr's info and she basically said "No one wil know"..

I still refused and said child will be served same foods as everyone else and would be sent home for any diarrhea episodes. Daily if necessary.

Mom started searching for new care ( she didnt know I knew though) which was fine with me so she couldve said so but thats moot anyways.

She interviewed with several gals I know. One in particular communicated via text/email with mom. Provider sent me the conversations stating she felt I needed to see them since DCM was trashing me and making false statements.

The conversation was absolutely ridiculous and so far from truth. I wouldve let it go because it is rately worth the hassle with people like that but she stated in one email she was going to report me for failing to address her child's dietary needs and I ignored her Dr's orders.

There was more trival lies said but those lies define her character not mune but hell if I was going to stand for her stating I was neglecting her child.

I document everything so I gathered my info e-mailed my licensor, typed up a term letter, packed her children's belongings, called my DS to have present (just in case) and hit record on my video camera when she walked in for pick up.

She was shocked and did lots of denying and back tracking but left peacefully.

She tried texting a few times last night but I have not replied.

Stuff like this scars my faith in humanity.

Oh my goodness! that is over the top. Claiming that you were disregarded a child's medical and dietary needs when it was YOU and not her that was pursuing a solution. I would be livid! I can completely understand why you would feel this way.

That is why I was so upset about the family that termed me last week that I posted about. They were implying to at least two other providers that my rates were too high and I had too many children in care, implying that I was not doing my job well. Little did they know that I know for a fact they were offering to pay at least one other provider MORE than they were paying me! and my ratio? well under the legal limit! it just really is appalling and discouraging and yes, heartbreaking when unsatisfied parents are painting us as scammers that care more about money than about children.

I care about "my" kids! I try my best to make it work. If you dont like it, thats fine, go find other care. but dont lie about the reason why! just say "it wasn't the right fit"

People need to learn how to agree to disagree and just move on respectfully. There is no need to trash others on your way out the door.

[Blackcat31]

I care about "my" kids! I try my best to make it work. If you dont like it, thats fine, go find other care. but dont lie about the reason why! just say "it wasn't the right fit"

People need to learn how to agree to disagree and just move on respectfully. There is no need to trash others on your way out the door.

Exactly!! It doesn't always have to be personal or drama filled.

Sometimes parents are more trouble/stress than their children could ever be!

[Needavacanow]

Blackcat, sorry you went going through that. I've been reading your posts for ages and forget that you have the same problems we do Misery loves company Thanks for sharing!