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My response has always been to make sure they're separated so can't hurt anyone and to lessen the chances of hurting themselves, then walk away. But my 3 yo's mom says she takes her dd in her arms and soothes her and quiets her down. Am I being mean to not give this kid more attention? I mean, her dd turns red in the face, screams, doesn't stop to listen, etc. That's always been my reaction, to not give the temper tantrum kid an audience.
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I let my kids have their tantrum in my hallway. It's right next to my daycare room. I have them walk there and then I walk away. When they are done, they can come back and play with us. It seems to work. I have an almost 2.5 y.o. who always throws multiple fits throughout the day and all I have to say now is "go in the hallway" and he goes or he knows to go there and will go by himself. He usually calms down, but sometimes will hit and kick the wall and I tell him he may not break my walls, then I have him move to the dining room and walk away. -
I direct the child to the nap room & tell them to take it in there..., they can come out when they are done. It usually gets louder before they realize I'm ignoring them. They come out, I tell them we don't do that here, we hug it out & they go play. The behavior stops after a time or two of that. Some of my best kids are the worst kids at home btw...Comment
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I think mom is fueling the fire with rewarding tantrums. Be confident in knowing that is is NOT a good choice.
Kids need to be allowed their feelings, sure. But, that doesn't mean it should be at the expense of others. Directing her out, saying "you are mad, but it hurts out ears when you yell. When you're done yelling, you can come back and play". Is appropriate. Then, when she comes back, the response should be minimal "oh, I'm glad you're feeling better"
I wouldn't even necessarily "hug it out" unless it's very brief. Some kids will milk that, too. Depends on the kid, though. You get to know who's in it for the drama really quick!
I had a kiddo who was still tantruming at 5. He could STOP on a dime. He was totally manipulating his parents with it, because once he was done, he'd act sweet and shy, and say something like "now, can I have a cookie?" and they'd say "sure, since you're asking nicely now".
argghhhhhhhhhhhh!
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HI Marina just wanted some resources, and as I was looking at my link, I came across "Tucker Turtle". This might work with your tantrumer, too. Mom might feel better about it (big softie that she is), and reinforce it.
Look under Practical Strategies..."Scripted stories for social situations". Tucker Turtle. There's an activity down lower where the children can make turtles, too. Maybe you could make it into a Turtles unit? Could be fun and educational, too.Comment
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