Sometimes I Just Want To Scream

[lovemykidstoo]

I have a dcb that is 2 years old. His brother (9 months) also comes here. They've moved him to a big boy bed and are having oodles of trouble with it. They put a baby gate at his bedroom door and he climbs over it. They've closed the door and he screams, yells and throws toys. They've removed toys from the room. He got up the one night and went to the basement and was playing with the toys at 2:00 in the morning. He turned on all the lights in the house. He goes and gets in bed with them. You guys get the picture. So I tell him yesterday that if he stays in his bed than I will give him a ****er in the morning. He comes today and dad say, "oh you get a ****er today you stayed in your bed". I said, really? That's great. I asked how the night went. This is the order of events. Dad laid with him until he fell asleep. Dad got up and he went to the couch and fell asleep. Dad says that he climbed over his gate and he could see him looking at him laying on the couch a few times. Eventually dcb went back to bed. Then dad went to bed and in the middle of the night dcb went in and slept in their bed with them. Ok, this doesn't sound like ****er worthy behavior to me and I was pissed that dad said that. After he told me all of that I said, do you think that is ****er worthy? Dad says, Oh I don't know, that's what I was wondering. DUH! And they wonder why he behaves like that.

[MotherNature]

Don't you love getting to be the parent and the bad guy?

[DaycareMom]

I have a dcb that is 2 years old. His brother (9 months) also comes here. They've moved him to a big boy bed and are having oodles of trouble with it. They put a baby gate at his bedroom door and he climbs over it. They've closed the door and he screams, yells and throws toys. They've removed toys from the room. He got up the one night and went to the basement and was playing with the toys at 2:00 in the morning. He turned on all the lights in the house. He goes and gets in bed with them. You guys get the picture. So I tell him yesterday that if he stays in his bed than I will give him a ****er in the morning. He comes today and dad say, "oh you get a ****er today you stayed in your bed". I said, really? That's great. I asked how the night went. This is the order of events. Dad laid with him until he fell asleep. Dad got up and he went to the couch and fell asleep. Dad says that he climbed over his gate and he could see him looking at him laying on the couch a few times. Eventually dcb went back to bed. Then dad went to bed and in the middle of the night dcb went in and slept in their bed with them. Ok, this doesn't sound like ****er worthy behavior to me and I was pissed that dad said that. After he told me all of that I said, do you think that is ****er worthy? Dad says, Oh I don't know, that's what I was wondering. DUH! And they wonder why he behaves like that.

Why are you rewarding him for behavior at home?
I wouldn't be doing that for that exact reason ... you have to be the bad guy or reward for bad behavior.

Does he nap in a bed or on a mat at your home?

[lovemykidstoo]

I guess I had a really stupid moment. Won't happen again I'll tell you that.

Still doesn't excuse dad's stupid behavior.

I just moved him a couple of weeks ago to a mat and he does great. Doesn't move at all from it.

[DaycareMom]

I guess I had a really stupid moment. Won't happen again I'll tell you that.

Still doesn't excuse dad's stupid behavior.

I just moved him a couple of weeks ago to a mat and he does great. Doesn't move at all from it.

Completely agree! Definitely doesn't excuse dcd's behavior.
Live and learn

Funny how kids understand when adults mean business - he stays on his mat for you!

[lovemykidstoo]

I know. He definitely knows I mean business. I think that my new business should be that I will move into their houses and change behavior like that. Should only take less than a week.

[Play Care]

I would stay out of it. I wouldn't even entertain the parents nighttime stories any more. My response would be "oh, really, huh. Have a good day!"

For what it's worth, I've never understood why parents allow their children free range of the home in the middle of the night. Have they not read the stories of toddler escaping outdoors and dying of exposure? Or drowning in the toilet? Or starting deadly house fires?

I say so what Jr is having a fit because he can't roam the house at all hours. Better to be unhappy for a brief period then to die a completely preventable horrible death.

[Annalee]

I would stay out of it. I wouldn't even entertain the parents nighttime stories any more. My response would be "oh, really, huh. Have a good day!"

For what it's worth, I've never understood why parents allow their children free range of the home in the middle of the night. Have they not read the stories of toddler escaping outdoors and dying of exposure? Or drowning in the toilet? Or starting deadly house fires?

I say so what Jr is having a fit because he can't roam the house at all hours. Better to be unhappy for a brief period then to die a completely preventable horrible death.

Shamefully, I think this goes on more than I would like to think. I feel this is why parents are so amazed that providers can get kids to sit at the table and eat together, go to nap at the same time, share with their friends while at dc. Parents just don't get it....it is simple if you think about it..... consistency with boundaries that lead to accountability/responsibility....AND LEARNING in the process!

[coolconfidentme]

I have a DCB who is a really good kid; polite, helps out, please, thank you, etc. At home he is totally opposite; tantrums, throws things, hits mom, destroys things, etc. His 1st steps teacher comes here now & cannot believe he is the same child. Her last report she mentioned the parent would benefit from "...following provider's Behavior Management and Discipline Policy." (I secretly smiled on that one.)

[spud912]

I have to say there is a big difference between behavior at my house and the children's homes. Why? Yes, I am stern when necessary. But I think the real reason is because I am not their parents. Children test their parents more.

Transitioning my older dd to a big girl bed was a nightmare. It was one of the hardest transitions for all of us. I did nothing different than what I do with daycare children when they are transitioned from a crib to a cot and the daycare children never get up. In fact, I would say I was much more stern with her! It took about 2 weeks of hell before she somewhat got it. To this day, she still wakes up on occasion (once every month or two) in the middle of the night and sneaks into our bed.

[DaycareMom]

I have to say there is a big difference between behavior at my house and the children's homes. Why? Yes, I am stern when necessary. But I think the real reason is because I am not their parents. Children test their parents more.

Transitioning my older dd to a big girl bed was a nightmare. It was one of the hardest transitions for all of us. I did nothing different than what I do with daycare children when they are transitioned from a crib to a cot and the daycare children never get up. In fact, I would say I was much more stern with her! It took about 2 weeks of hell before she somewhat got it. To this day, she still wakes up on occasion (once every month or two) in the middle of the night and sneaks into our bed.

You are 100% correct. My kids are always testing me and pushing me more than the daycare kids, but they eventually get it because I stick to my guns - which is what you did. I think the problem is most parents don't do the work. They get lazy and give up.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have a DCB who is a really good kid; polite, helps out, please, thank you, etc. At home he is totally opposite; tantrums, throws things, hits mom, destroys things, etc. His 1st steps teacher comes here now & cannot believe he is the same child. Her last report she mentioned the parent would benefit from "...following provider's Behavior Management and Discipline Policy." (I secretly smiled on that one.)

I have a similar child. The parents tend to know their children are well behaved here, too, yet refuse to follow any advice. I just say, "Oh, really?" when they tell me stories after giving advice.

[nannyde]

I think the problem is most parents don't do the work. They get lazy and give up.

I don't think it's laziness as much as it is that the parents don't want them to cry.

[lovemykidstoo]

Well, after yesterdays fiasco, I just don't even want to hear it anymore. After dad told me about how the boy was up and down, up and down, climbing over the gate etc and then expected him to get a ****er and then mom picked up and said, "oh he did pretty good last night". I don't know why in their wildest dreams they think that was a pretty good night. Sounds like no one slept. Then she says how he came in in the middle of the night and snuck in their bed as she smiles and says he was so quiet he just snuck in haha. Geez, I wonder why he keeps getting up. DUH! totally done with that situation. Why is he doing this behavior? Because he can!!!!! I'm taking your advice here and saying "oh" when they bring it up.

[My3cents]

I don't think it's laziness as much as it is that the parents don't want them to cry.

I was thinking the same thing.

I agree that what goes on at home is up to the parent to reward or discipline not your area at all. I would have said to Dad that if you want him to have a ly you can give it to him at home on your time.