Choosing the "Right" Family

[Kabob]

So how do you guys do it? Do you pick families that would seem to fit into your group/daycare well? Do you factor in other issues like schedule, potential income, and personalities?

I ask because I've been interviewing again to fill a spot and I've run into an issue where I have enough interest that I could not only fill the empty spot but also replace a problem family if needed. The only thing is that one family I interviewed seems great except the dad did not seem to like me one bit. I don't even know his name because he didn't introduce himself even with some nudging on my part. He also didn't really talk to me...he talked as if I wasn't there...for instance, if he had a question he directed it at his wife or he wandered the room making comments to himself about my setup. He probably was tired or something but he just made me feel uncomfortable enough where I didn't do my full interview. Dh thinks I'm getting too personal and should take them based on the fact that I could replace a problem family...but I don't need a new problem. I could go ahead with my second interview with them but I didn't even finish my first...

[BrooklynM]

Respect your gut instincts, but a second interview wouldn't hurt. I have a DCD that is awesome, but he owns his own business and at times he can seem abrupt when he is in a hurry, etc. I know his personality now, but if I were to have met him the first time I could have easily got the wrong impression. If you liked the mom and the child, give it a second interview and maybe ask the Dad specific questions directed to him. For example- what is the most important thing to you as the Dad for your son/daughter.

I would give them one more shot and see if you can work to understand them more, and then if he is still the same then keep looking!

[childcaremom]

I have been having similar issues. I find a family who seem to be a great fit and then it doesn't work out. I read this article and found some great tips.

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/interviewing-nannyde-style.htm

I'm def. more cautious and def. more particular. I don't think it's worth trading one problem for another, unless it's a HUGE problem you are getting rid of.

I have a dcd who was very similar during the interview process. Aloof. Didn't talk much. I didn't feel like it was a good interview because of this, didn't think the family would 'choose' me, and didn't really want them, either. They called a few days later and I accepted them. I really regret it now and wish I had gone with my first impressions. He is still the same way and very put off-ish. I have a hard time dealing with him whenever issues have cropped up and I don't feel he respects me or my business. (cue the music) If I could go turn back time....

That's not to say your interview dad is the same, but I am learning quickly to trust my instincts and first impressions of families during the interviews AND conduct a more thorough interview of the family. Good luck!

[Play Care]

I agree with going with your gut. The times I've had some of the best clients, I've gotten a really good feeling during the interview. Nothing is ever a sure thing but for the most part, I've been fairly accurate at determining who I want. I would say to keep interviewing if you want to replace a family.

[Kabob]

Yeah my gut said no but my head said yes simply because I don't want to deal with the other family's drama anymore (the newest drama is that the dcm says that she's going to lose her job because I am making her stay home with her sick kids).

I have had aloof/quiet parents turn out to be a perfect fit here. Even those parents answered questions and participated in the interview.

This dad literally seemed angry to me. Like he thought I was annoying or something. If I tried to show them a room they just stood there and didn't look. If I asked him a question he would ignore me and direct his response to his wife. I thought maybe he was nervous but he just came off as angry for some reason...dh thinks he just had a long day. It still bugs me that I don't know his name...

The last dad that came off as angry made pick ups very awkward...he didn't respond to questions or concerns about the kids and often snapped at his kids...I don't like that attitude in my home and it was clear that he was having trouble at work...turns out I was right because it was because of his work that the family left...I don't want to repeat that.

[KidGrind]

NannyDe’s interview process,breakdown and criteria are fabulous. It just wouldn’t work for me or my parents.

I look for the interaction between the parents.
Their parenting style and reaction if I need to correct or redirect they’re child.
If their stories are consistent.
Their schedules and commute involved.
If they have issues with the gloss over of policies.
If they comprehend I am not a nanny & my own boss.

A big red flag for me is if they continually mention, “The center hours are … or my last provider allowed us….”

and even worse, “Our last provider was awful.”

Me:How long was Jane in her care?

“A year and a half…"

[Kabob]

I wish I had big red flags instead of gut feelings. So I set up a second interview just to check my gut.

At least my biggest problem is picking a family rather than finding them. It's nice to have options. I just feel bad picking one over the other over gut feelings...

[melilley]

Yeah my gut said no but my head said yes simply because I don't want to deal with the other family's drama anymore (the newest drama is that the dcm says that she's going to lose her job because I am making her stay home with her sick kids).

I have had aloof/quiet parents turn out to be a perfect fit here. Even those parents answered questions and participated in the interview.

This dad literally seemed angry to me. Like he thought I was annoying or something. If I tried to show them a room they just stood there and didn't look. If I asked him a question he would ignore me and direct his response to his wife. I thought maybe he was nervous but he just came off as angry for some reason...dh thinks he just had a long day. It still bugs me that I don't know his name...

The last dad that came off as angry made pick ups very awkward...he didn't respond to questions or concerns about the kids and often snapped at his kids...I don't like that attitude in my home and it was clear that he was having trouble at work...turns out I was right because it was because of his work that the family left...I don't want to repeat that.

The name thing and no eye contact would really bother me too! I don't care if you had a long day, it's respectful to look at people who are talking to you, especially people who will be taking care of your kids!

How dare you make their sick kids stay home and not get the other kids sick?! That family does sound like they need to go!

[melilley]

I agree with going with your gut. The times I've had some of the best clients, I've gotten a really good feeling during the interview. Nothing is ever a sure thing but for the most part, I've been fairly accurate at determining who I want. I would say to keep interviewing if you want to replace a family.

I have absolutely no red flag or gut radar!

One family who I had a bad gut feeling and red flags with, is one of my best families and one family who I loved on the phone and when they first attended is one family (because of the parents) that I could stand to get rid of. Go figure!