I Am Terrible At Small Talk...

[Sunshine74]

...and apparently it's a huge problem. My director is constantly yelling at me because I don't talk to the parents enough. I always say hi, and tell them anything they need to know, but that isn't good enough.

And to make matters worse, the other teacher on the room is great at it, which makes me look even worse. DCGma complained today that "no one ever talks to her" except one person, so I'm in trouble again.

I just don't know what to do.

[Blackcat31]

...and apparently it's a huge problem. My director is constantly yelling at me because I don't talk to the parents enough. I always say hi, and tell them anything they need to know, but that isn't good enough.

And to make matters worse, the other teacher on the room is great at it, which makes me look even worse. DCGma complained today that "no one ever talks to her" except one person, so I'm in trouble again.

I just don't know what to do.

So now caregivers are expected supply social interaction and conversation for parents?

I'm sorry....I am sure you aren't in the position to change anything if you are working in a center but this kid of thing really irks me.

If you do work in a center and parents have an concerns, I would expect they take those concerns to the director and other than daily greetings, I wouldn't expect the caregivers/teachers to do anything more than say hello upon arrival and good bye when it's time to go home.

Maybe you could have a meeting with your director and ask her specifically what it is you are suppose to be saying to parents.

[blandino]

I find that irritating. Pick-ups are by far my busiest time of day. So in addition to giving parents all pertinent information and managing the kids still in care, you need to chat with the parents and keep two extra bodies in the room for a few extra minutes ?

As a parent, I wouldn't want to walk in on my provider chatting with parents and paying less attention to the children.

[Annalee]

So now caregivers are expected supply social interaction and conversation for parents?

I'm sorry....I am sure you aren't in the position to change anything if you are working in a center but this kid of thing really irks me.

If you do work in a center and parents have an concerns, I would expect they take those concerns to the director and other than daily greetings, I wouldn't expect the caregivers/teachers to do anything more than say hello upon arrival and good bye when it's time to go home.

Maybe you could have a meeting with your director and ask her specifically what it is you are suppose to be saying to parents.

One of our QRIS scoring items is if we allow daycare parents to walk into our facility after signing in.....I mean walking ALL THE WAY IN.....we are scored on how much interaction/what we discuss upon arrival and departure.....

[daycarediva]

I find that irritating. Pick-ups are by far my busiest time of day. So in addition to giving parents all pertinent information and managing the kids still in care, you need to chat with the parents and keep two extra bodies in the room for a few extra minutes ?

As a parent, I wouldn't want to walk in on my provider chatting with parents and paying less attention to the children.

RIGHT!!!

One of our QRIS scoring items is if we allow daycare parents to walk into our facility after signing in.....I mean walking ALL THE WAY IN.....we are scored on how much interaction/what we discuss upon arrival and departure.....

INSANE. What about the safety, cleanliness and security of the other children in care? I have a DCG with an EXTREME aversion to men. It took her a YEAR to warm up to my dh. Other dcds walking by her would cause extreme anxiety.

[jenboo]

OMG! i had this same problem when I worked in a center. I was in a room with 24 2 yr olds and one other teacher. I would always greet the kids and the other teacher would greet the parents.
One parents complained that I never would greet them!
Sorry, im busy making your child feel welcomed and doing 20 billion other things.

ugh!!

Sorry, no advice...I ended up walking out on that job. worst experience ever!

[Annalee]

RIGHT!!!



INSANE. What about the safety, cleanliness and security of the other children in care? I have a DCG with an EXTREME aversion to men. It took her a YEAR to warm up to my dh. Other dcds walking by her would cause extreme anxiety.

I agree....insane....but reality for providers here.

[BrooklynM]

Maybe try one compliment for each parent a day.Here's a weeks worth for one parent- Hi Susie (DCM)- Johnny's jacket is so cute/warm, where did you get it? I'd like to tell some of the other parents because it is perfect for this weather? Next day- Hi Susie- Johnny was a super sharer today! He was our star sharer for the day, it's so great having him here- he's becoming such a good teacher to other kids!. Hi- Susie- your purse is so cute! Love it! Hi Susie- Hope you and Johnny have a great weekend! Of course just telling the parents a simple- I really enjoy having Johnny here everyday, he's such a sweet/fun/energetic, etc kid!

I don't know, those are some that I thought of for small talk. I have the complete opposite problem. I'm a total chatterbox, I have to watch myself not to talk the parents ears off because I've been locked up with the kids all day, but I'm solo, not in a center.

Just think of a bunch of things you could say, keep it short and sweet, but try to say one to each parent everyday. Gotta keep the boss happy and maybe she is giving you some valuable feedback.

[crazydaycarelady]

As long as one of the teachers is giving the parents the info about the child's day that should work in a center. I would just make sure you greet each parent when they walk in.

As for home provider - I think it would be death to your business if you were not good at small talk. It really is all about making the parents happy.

[SilverSabre25]

I'm terrible at small talk too. I'm a little bit socially impaired...partly because I don't see the point of a lot of the social niceties and I just don't *get* small talk or chit chat.


What exactly is your direction/the parents hoping for? If I were you, I would figure out what that is and then develop of a couple of "scripts" to use and vary between them.

[craftymissbeth]

I'm terrible at small talk too. I'm a little bit socially impaired...partly because I don't see the point of a lot of the social niceties and I just don't *get* small talk or chit chat.


What exactly is your direction/the parents hoping for? If I were you, I would figure out what that is and then develop of a couple of "scripts" to use and vary between them.

This is me. I honestly think it's a waste of time. I don't want to get to know any of my DCP's on a personal level so I truly don't want to chit chat. I used to feel envious of people who can talk and talk about nothing (my dh for example), but I realize now that it's just that... talk about nothing. I have social anxiety and it used to be very extreme. It helps me to limit the unnecessary interactions I have with people.

That doesn't mean I'm cut and dry "hi, here's your kid. Get out.". I do smile and am very friendly, but I don't want to stand here and talk about your purse or Johnny's jacket (no offense).

[Naptime yet?]

A lot of times I small talk out of nervousness, then kick myself because I feel like I've small talked too much. But when my dd was in care I never expected nor wanted to stay & chit-chat with the provider/teacher because I/we were both ready to go. It's a double-edged sword; you don't want to appear cold because it may be perceived as if you don't care, but if you talk too much...I don't know.

[Josiegirl]

As long as one of the teachers is giving the parents the info about the child's day that should work in a center. I would just make sure you greet each parent when they walk in.

As for home provider - I think it would be death to your business if you were not good at small talk. It really is all about making the parents happy.

I'm a home provider(so I do know this is different), I'll small talk with the dcps when I can but often times the kids start running amok as soon as somebody comes to the door. Now how does *that* look to the dcparent if I'm not in somewhat of a state of control? Do they prefer chitchat over controlled chaos? Also, it seems like all my dcps know each other and lots of times show up at the same time so *they* chitchat together while I just stand there looking dumb. I send home daily reports and offer my email/phone constantly for communication. While I'm responsible for keeping a crowd of kids safe, happy, with no broken limbs honestly there usually isn't a lot of time to make small talk. I think that's expecting quite a bit. I mean, if there were definite issues that needed to be addressed directly, that's different. JMO

[KidGrind]

As long as one of the teachers is giving the parents the info about the child's day that should work in a center. I would just make sure you greet each parent when they walk in.

As for home provider - I think it would be death to your business if you were not good at small talk. It really is all about making the parents happy.

I respectfully disagree. My career path as a FCC Provider has nothing to do with making parents happy. My career is about providing a safe, stimulating & enriching environment to children. Some parents aren’t interested in small talk. 9 out of 10 times my conversations have to do with their children or my program.

I think it is truly a misallocation to reprimand you for not participating in small talk with parents. When I worked in a center small talk was not a requirement. A cordial greeting, ensuring sign in/out was properly completed and any information pertaining to child communicated was the only requirement when dealing with parents.

[MCC]

I agree, I think that it is silly that this is required of you.

I have 6 families, and only chit chat with one of them. They are my age, they have a similar lifestyle as me, and they are the only ones who ask me about me. I could honestly see myself having drinks with them, though I never would.

The rest of the families, it is all about their kids day. I'm not saying I wouldn't small talk with them, I just don't initiate it, and neither do they.