Oh, You Never Told Me You Had Anywhere To Be... Ugh!!

[Great Beginnings]

Ugh! So I had dinner plans. Not too important but after a 12 hour day with kids I want to be out the door and done with them right on the 12 hour mark! I text a parent who is 10 minutes late. You almost here? I am late for plans. She's right down the road and then gets here about 5 minutes later, now 15 minutes late and she has the nerve to say to me "Oh, you didn't say you needed to be anywhere."

Seriously?? I close at 5pm and you've known this for the 3 years you've been in my care. Why on earth should I have to tell you that I have plans AFTER my contracted business hours?? Do you tell those at work what your evening plans are?? This mom has been making a habit out of being late at least a couple times a week and keeps blaming it on the roads. My mistake for cutting her slack to begin with but no other parents have had issues being on time due to roads.

[DaycareMom]

Did you charge her a late fee?
Did you explain to her that you don't need to tell her your plans since your closed at 5:00 p.m.?
Will you be re-enforcing your policies?

I am only wondering since I have been struggling with this as well and wondering how others have dealt with it.

[lovemykidstoo]

I would tell her exactly what you just wrote and that is, why on earth would I tell you that I'm doing something AFTER my contracted hours. You're not supposed to be here at that time.

[Blackcat31]

Ugh! So I had dinner plans. Not too important but after a 12 hour day with kids I want to be out the door and done with them right on the 12 hour mark! I text a parent who is 10 minutes late. You almost here? I am late for plans. She's right down the road and then gets here about 5 minutes later, now 15 minutes late and she has the nerve to say to me "Oh, you didn't say you needed to be anywhere."

Seriously?? I close at 5pm and you've known this for the 3 years you've been in my care. Why on earth should I have to tell you that I have plans AFTER my contracted business hours?? Do you tell those at work what your evening plans are?? This mom has been making a habit out of being late at least a couple times a week and keeps blaming it on the roads. My mistake for cutting her slack to begin with but no other parents have had issues being on time due to roads.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
I agree....it is NONE of the parent's business if you have plans or not. They have an obligation to pick up BEFORE closing time. I don't care if the roads are bad or not. If they are, the parent needs to plan accordingly.

Most companies would fire someone for being late to work...even if the roads were bad. Their reply would be to plan accordingly...why is daycare any different?

I would make it VERY clear to this mom that your plans are none of her business and you close AT 5:00. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I think you opened Pandora's Box by allowing her an exception previously and now she's paying you back for it

Did you charge her a late fee?
Did you explain to her that you don't need to tell her your plans since your closed at 5:00 p.m.?
Will you be re-enforcing your policies?

I am only wondering since I have been struggling with this as well and wondering how others have dealt with it.

I enforce ALL policies in my handbook. Especially late pick ups and payment dates. If you don't respect and enforce your policies, why should parents...kwim?

I don't play games when it comes to respect. I care for other people's children but that doesn't mean I am obligated to deal with parent's bad behavior.

If a parent can't respect me and my policies, then I am not the right program for them. There are plenty of providers who don't fuss over 5-10 minutes or little displays of disrespect but I am certainly not one of them.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Inch...mile. Always. Sigh...

I have a late pick-up fee, and I enforce it every single time. I have it in my handbook and contract that no exceptions are made, so from the very first infraction, I make them pay it, simply stating "I'm sure you understand that as a business, I cannot make exceptions." The first few times it was very hard to do, but got so much easier. And I actually think it helped my DCF's respect my other policies over-all as well.

Whatever your policy is, I would suggest sending out a reminder letter or e-mail (short and sweet), and be ready to enforce it. That's the kicker.

[lovemykidstoo]

I don't have a late fee. You know why? Because I don't allow late no matter how much they pay me. I have only one time had someone late. He came 10 minutes late. I opened the door, looked him square in the eye and said, this cannot ever happen again. It didn't. I don't put up with it. Unless of course it is something that noone could control like an accident or something unforeseeable that could not be helped, but honestly, that was the only time and he had just left work late. Not my problem. A late fee is tricky because some people will pay it and they dont' care what it cost.

[SunshineMama]

I have gotten that excuse before as well! It isn't their business what they do after work! Grrr.

[KDC]

Wait... you have a life? How dare you ::

[TaylorTots]

My DCPs are good at showing up on time. On Friday I had one dcg left for the last hour and was waiting for her to leave so I could shower as I had plans that evening. DCM was right on time and started the usual small talk (which I dont mind actually) and I mentioned we were going to a hockey game and she had her dcg out of my house in under a minute from that moment with an apology for dilly dallying. I was happy and we even made it to the hockey game 30 minutes early happyface

[Heidi]

I do often tell my parents when I have something going on that requires me to be out of here on time. Often, they'll try to get here early if possible.

Do I HAVE to tell them? No. But, I do because it's a mutually beneficial relationship. Give and take.

Maybe if I had more families to deal with, I'd be more all-business about it. But, I don't, so until it's a problem, I do what works for everyone.

Added:

I really only have one mom who is occasionally late. She is a PT, and sometimes has a patient just takes longer. She usually texts me as she's leaving and apologizes profusely. Since her dh works even later and further away, and their families live out of state, there's really nothing she can do about it. DCM is such a considerate person, I know she means it and would never take advantage. I've never once even considered giving her hard time about it, even though she's my last one of the day by 1/2 hour.

[Jack Sprat]

A family did this to me last week and the week before. I was so pissed both times. I did politely tell him last week that after a 12 hour day I was ready to be done. Even if I had no plans. I think that some parents think that because we work in our homes (some of us) and most kids nap that we our jobs are easy. Just my opinion and how I perceived the families that have abused this.

[Moppetland]

I don't have a late fee. You know why? Because I don't allow late no matter how much they pay me. I have only one time had someone late. He came 10 minutes late. I opened the door, looked him square in the eye and said, this cannot ever happen again. It didn't. I don't put up with it. Unless of course it is something that noone could control like an accident or something unforeseeable that could not be helped, but honestly, that was the only time and he had just left work late. Not my problem. A late fee is tricky because some people will pay it and they dont' care what it cost.

I have a late fee, but they're only allowed to have 3 occurrences. Then they get a warning. Late again that's cause for termination, because you are so right that DCPS don't mind and is able to pay the late fee.

I do allow for emergencies. TRUE emergencies though.

[Play Care]

I do often tell my parents when I have something going on that requires me to be out of here on time. Often, they'll try to get here early if possible.

Do I HAVE to tell them? No. But, I do because it's a mutually beneficial relationship. Give and take.

Maybe if I had more families to deal with, I'd be more all-business about it. But, I don't, so until it's a problem, I do what works for everyone.

Added:

I really only have one mom who is occasionally late. She is a PT, and sometimes has a patient just takes longer. She usually texts me as she's leaving and apologizes profusely. Since her dh works even later and further away, and their families live out of state, there's really nothing she can do about it. DCM is such a considerate person, I know she means it and would never take advantage. I've never once even considered giving her hard time about it, even though she's my last one of the day by 1/2 hour.

I admit I do the same thing. All of my families come on time, but the ONE time I need to be somewhere, it never fails that someone is running late. Admittedly I don't often have weeknight plans so it's not as if it happens all the time I also have a PT mom and a similar situation. That said, she is getting notice and as lovely as she is, her being late is a factor.

[Josiegirl]

Oh man, I need the 'don't be late again' backbone. I have one family that started making it a habit of coming anywhere from 5-20 minutes late. Dcd gets out of work at 5 and it's a 40 minute drive. DCM often has emergencies that happen at work, it's just her line of work. Problem is I close at 5. After I said something about dcd picking up so late, dcm had been pretty good about picking up on time, even early. But then tonight dcd comes rolling in 20 minutes late, no word pick up was going to be late, no apologies, and he wants to chitchat. And there I was, stupid me, being nice to him never saying a word about being late.
Time to rewrite my handbook of policies and enforcing the rules!!!!

[Unregistered]

Ugh! So I had dinner plans. Not too important but after a 12 hour day with kids I want to be out the door and done with them right on the 12 hour mark! I text a parent who is 10 minutes late. You almost here? I am late for plans. She's right down the road and then gets here about 5 minutes later, now 15 minutes late and she has the nerve to say to me "Oh, you didn't say you needed to be anywhere."

Seriously?? I close at 5pm and you've known this for the 3 years you've been in my care. Why on earth should I have to tell you that I have plans AFTER my contracted business hours?? Do you tell those at work what your evening plans are?? This mom has been making a habit out of being late at least a couple times a week and keeps blaming it on the roads. My mistake for cutting her slack to begin with but no other parents have had issues being on time due to roads.

What was your response to her?

I would have told her "I'm sorry, you were LATE. You know my close time is ... and you arrived just now and it's ... I don't think it matters if I have plans or not, you need to respect my time. If you have questions about my policy, we can discuss another time or you can refer to my contract on your time. I will see you later, have a good night" and start leaving.