OT--Parenting Question

[SilverSabre25]

My 6 year old got an MP3 player for Christmas. I think she's overusing it. She listens to it a LOT, including while she's doing her schoolwork (she's homeschooled). I don't like this and want to set limits on when, and where, she can use the device. She likes to sing along....but tends to do it too loudly and I suspect that sometimes she is flat out singing loudly on purpose to "perform" or "brag". The singing gets annoying to me after awhile (and well, it's annoying even when she doesn't have the MP3 player on because she does.not.shut.UP)

What limits do other parents have on these sorts of things?

[preschoolteacher]

I can see how that would be annoying, but it's not something I personally would make an issue/power struggle. Listening to music, to me, is not like playing video games endlessly or watching TV. Maybe it helps her concentrate doing her homework. Maybe the newness will wear off faster if you don't make it a struggle between you.

I think a 6 year old can learn to go somewhere private (bedroom?) if she wants to sing loudly. You could also have "media free time" when everyone--mom and dad too!--put away electronic stuff to just be together, like at dinner and the hour after, for example.

[kathiemarie]

I can see how that would be annoying, but it's not something I personally would make an issue/power struggle. Listening to music, to me, is not like playing video games endlessly or watching TV. Maybe it helps her concentrate doing her homework. Maybe the newness will wear off faster if you don't make it a struggle between you.

I think a 6 year old can learn to go somewhere private (bedroom?) if she wants to sing loudly. You could also have "media free time" when everyone--mom and dad too!--put away electronic stuff to just be together, like at dinner and the hour after, for example.

This is right on.

My daughter loves music, always has. She sleeps with it on, studies with it (4.0 AP High schooler) it is always on. I on the other hand am not a music fan. I like my quite but as she has gotten older I have started listing to her music, taking her to concerts etc. so we would have something to talk about and connect over.

I like pp suggestion of media free time and asking her to go to her room when she wants to sing.

[kitkat]

DD, 5, also got one for Christmas. She always listens to it when she goes to bed. If she is crabby and needs a break, she'll listen to it in her room. We bought a speaker/radio that she plugs it into, so she rarely is using the earbuds. This way, she's in her room and can sing along if she wants and even if I hear her, I still can hear the music. My dd would be too distracted if she listened to it while doing homework, so I don't allow that. If it's getting out of hand, I would limit it to an hour a day and more on the weekends, and have no problem making her listen in her room.

[daycarediva]

I can see how that would be annoying, but it's not something I personally would make an issue/power struggle. Listening to music, to me, is not like playing video games endlessly or watching TV. Maybe it helps her concentrate doing her homework. Maybe the newness will wear off faster if you don't make it a struggle between you.

I think a 6 year old can learn to go somewhere private (bedroom?) if she wants to sing loudly. You could also have "media free time" when everyone--mom and dad too!--put away electronic stuff to just be together, like at dinner and the hour after, for example.

Yes this. I LOVE the media free time, might start that at my house!

I think at this age, she can understand "That's hurting my ears. I love that you enjoy your music so much, but can you please not sing out loud in here? You can sing out loud (place) and (time)."

My kids and I LOVE music. It rubs off on my daycare kids, too. I don't see it the same way as I do a passive activity. My own kids listen to music at homework time, and my 3 boys play music throughout the night as well (classical, or something word less for my sanity with the monitors on)

[melilley]

My 10 yo. dd has an ipod so I feel ya! (she thinks she can carry a tune, but I think otherwise,,,). During school days, she is allowed to have it for an hour AFTER all school work and chores are done. On the weekends we let her use it as she wants, for the most part, but if she wants to sing, she does have to go to her bedroom or basement playroom.
I guess an ipod is a little different from an mp3 player, but I personally would still limit it as I do now.

[craftymissbeth]

My ds listens to music pretty much constantly. For me, music isn't something I feel comfortable limiting. It's not like he's mindlessly staring at a screen. He's always singing along, memorizing the lyrics, bopping around... he has pretty good taste, too (he shares my undying love of Hanson ).

I do have a few restrictions (none of which are time): the headphone volume MUST be at a safe volume (I have the settings on his phone set so the volume of music can't get too high), he cannot listen to inappropriate songs or listen to musicians that I feel are poor role models, and most importantly if he's getting on my nerves he has to listen to it in his bedroom.

[Lil'DinoEggs]

I agree with a lot of other posts. If she is not using it to isolate herself from others (other than homework) and it is at a low volume, be my guest. But she needs to be respectful of others and singing out loud is rude and a good rule to understand now. But the minute she is spending too much money on music, using it to block you out or others out and has it too loud, limits will be set.

[SilverSabre25]

Thank you for the input I do feel weird about making her stop, because, well, it's music. BUT, she's ADD (not diagnosed, but i think she could easily be if I seek it out, which I may when she's older) and she has a tendency to get very....I don't want to say obsessed....but she has a hard time putting things down. She's been on a Minecraft kick for a long time.

And, ironically after posting this question, I went to check the work she was taking for.freaking.ever to do (usually done in like, ten minutes tops) and lo and behold....she had gone and done two whole days worth. She was really confused and basically ended up realizing that the music distracted her so much she didn't notice she did twice as much work as she needed to.

Without me saying much she did NOT listen for the rest of school time. ::

But, thank you also for the input about the reasonable and polite limits of not annoying people with ceaseless off-key LOUD singing. I'm sensitive to sound and while I don't have perfect pitch, it's close and I played instruments for 9 years, so I KNOW she's off key....and it HURTS.

[daycarediva]

But, thank you also for the input about the reasonable and polite limits of not annoying people with ceaseless off-key LOUD singing. I'm sensitive to sound and while I don't have perfect pitch, it's close and I played instruments for 9 years, so I KNOW she's off key....and it HURTS.

LOL that she did more work than she needed to!!

This cracked me up. I have a dcb who sings CONSTANTLY and even the other kids are annoyed by his high pitch wailing. He doesn't know all the words, sings louder than anyone, and the sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I purchased separate speakers in an attempt at drowning him out. He ALWAYS tells his Mom the kids wont let him sing. In all actuality, they ask him to LOWER HIS VOICE about 100x a day, it really DOES hurt our ears. I can sooo picture him on American idol, you know the first few episodes where they sound awful and have no idea.

[Blackcat31]

Thank you for the input I do feel weird about making her stop, because, well, it's music. BUT, she's ADD (not diagnosed, but i think she could easily be if I seek it out, which I may when she's older) and she has a tendency to get very....I don't want to say obsessed....but she has a hard time putting things down. She's been on a Minecraft kick for a long time.

And, ironically after posting this question, I went to check the work she was taking for.freaking.ever to do (usually done in like, ten minutes tops) and lo and behold....she had gone and done two whole days worth. She was really confused and basically ended up realizing that the music distracted her so much she didn't notice she did twice as much work as she needed to.

Without me saying much she did NOT listen for the rest of school time. ::

But, thank you also for the input about the reasonable and polite limits of not annoying people with ceaseless off-key LOUD singing. I'm sensitive to sound and while I don't have perfect pitch, it's close and I played instruments for 9 years, so I KNOW she's off key....and it HURTS.

There is a STRONG connection between music and kids with ADD/ADHD.

Do some Googling and you will find a ton of supporting info about how listening to music if you have ADD/ADHD can have some powerful affects on behavior, concentration and memory skills.

Here is one article, I had bookmarked
...http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art40258.asp

Here is another...http://www.everydayhealth.com/add-ad...with-adhd.aspx

[MarinaVanessa]

There is a STRONG connection between music and kids with ADD/ADHD.

Do some Googling and you will find a ton of supporting info about how listening to music if you have ADD/ADHD can have some powerful affects on behavior, concentration and memory skills.

Here is one article, I had bookmarked
...http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art40258.asp

Here is another...http://www.everydayhealth.com/add-ad...with-adhd.aspx

Yes this.

My DD has ADHD and music is one thing that was "prescribed" to me for helping to keep herfocused on her homework. It works really well. Now you just have to decide which times can be music time and which times are not.

[Meyou]

You could put some audio books on it so she's listening and learning at the same time. Not while she's doing schoolwork but the rest of the the time.