2-Year-Old Crying For Parents--Do You Call For Pick-Up?

[preschoolteacher]

I have a similar scenario with two different kids.

Kid #1: Comes 1 day/week. 2.5 years old. Non-verbal. Never been away from parents before. Cried for 90 minutes at drop-off on the second day of daycare. I eventually called parent for pick-up. Would you have done this? I tried everything under the sun to calm him down and engage him in activities, but he continued to run to the door and cry in the entryway. I couldn't do much more than read him books and keep an eye on the group, but forget about making lunch or dealing with any problem with the other kids if any had come up.

Kid #2. Comes 2 days/week. 2.5 years old. VERY verbal. Cries/whines throughout the day, on and off, for parents. The intensity of the crying/whining is less than Kid #1, but it takes a lot of effort on my part to distract Kid #2 enough to stop the whining. I have special activities on the days this kid comes that I know will be enjoyed, a special private place for the child to play away from the other kids (the other kids are a bother and trigger lots of the whining). I haven't seen an improvement in the last few months. The other kids are getting stressed out by the commotion. They look confused and bewildered at Kid #2 and look at me like "What are you going to do about this?" I swear, I'm trying! Once Kid #2 goes down for a nap, the entire atmosphere is 100% calmer.

How would you handle these situations? Do you have a certain amount of time you will give a child to calm down before calling parents? Is crying/whining to be expected and just part of the job? How much is TOO much?

[Blackcat31]

Kid #1, I absolutely would have sent home.

My handbook states I will only allow a child to cry for their parent after drop off for a max of 30 minutes. If they haven't begun to calm down within that half hour, I send home.

It isn't fair to any of the others and if the child is crying for more than 30 minutes at that age, they probably aren't going to get better any time soon...kwim?

He may not get better at all since he is only attending 1 day a week. That is such a small timeframe for adjustment at that age.

Kid #2, I'd probably deal with the constant whining by making as little fan fare as possible about it and continually repeating that he is a big boy and you want him to behave as such.

I'd remind him as often as necessary that his parent(s) will return for him but the more fun he has, the faster the day will go.

If he doesn't show any improvement in 30 days, I'd probably term.

Again, the small amount of time he attends each week doesn't leave enough available time for them to get used to care without having to start over each week as if it's the first day.

Whiney kids are tough. ((((hugs)))) for dealing. :hug:

[preschoolteacher]

Thanks! That is great advice, and I plan to take it.

I've talked about the issues with both parents. Both parents have said that they know their child cries/whines/has a hard time around other kids, and they realize it's an issue, and they are hoping my daycare will help them learn to separate/get along with other kids/whatever.

I appreciate that... but it also puts the work onto me to help the kids, and doesn't consider what the rest of the kids need. Ugh!

[Heidi]

The only thing I'd try to do is have them attend your program MORE for a while. Ideally, FT one week, then 3 days a week for a couple, then back down to their normal schedule.

They need more exposure to you, the other kids, and your routines.

You could also do a family board with family pictures, something to cuddle or hold from mom, and a picture schedule to show them what is happening next, and when mom or dad comes for pick up. But, all of this will take 10x longer with such a variable and sparse schedule.

[TwinKristi]

I agree with Heidi! They need to be there more than 1 day a week to get used to it. 30 days is only 4 times to get used it and that's not how it works with 2yr olds. I have one guy here and the first couple weeks was only 2 days a week and THAT was still hard. He cried every day on and off ALL day. But the point of him coming was to get socialized and used to daycare as mom and Gma were both returning to work and he'd never been with anyone else. He is like a fixture in my home now, I occasionally have him on the weekends and once overnight. A year ago I was like wow... I don't know how this will work! But he got used to it and is awesome now. He also has very little verbal language. He's an only child raised with adults and just doesn't talk much. He's gotten better since turning 2 but there was a period of time I was really worried about him. Being here more also helps his routine. He was 2 days, then 3 days and now he's been here 4-5 days a week since Oct?