Help With This Kid

[Kcole1075]

I have a 4 year old ignore me most of the day. If he does pay attention to me his answer is no. Or he will hear me say something redirecting to another chikd and do the thing i was stopping the other child from doing.

Yesterday we were going to walk across the street together. I was getting everyone to hold hands before we crossed and he ran out into the middle of the street. Today while driving hetook off his seatbelt and laied on the floor. I had to pull over to buckle his seat belt since he can't.
I talked to mom about yesterdayand he said she would talk to him. Today i have to have a conversation about him listening and the seat belt problem.

[caregiver]

I also have a dcb, who is 4 just like him. The first week I had him I almost quit with him, he didn't listen,had major meltdowns when he didn't get his way where he just screamed at me, would fold his arms and turn his back to me when he was mad,when asked to do something he would say NO, I don't want to, and just was a brat! He also started to push my other dcg if she was in his way or sitting in a chair he wanted to sit in. I talked to his parents and told them about his behavior and if he didn't stop, he could not come here anymore. They talked to him and the parents are really nice and really concerned about his behavior and are having the same issues with him at home. They are at their wits end too and don't know what to do. Now we are all working together to help him with his behavior, which is nice.

I don't know where you take the kids when you take them in your car, but I think that I would tell Mom that when you do take the kids out, she will have to come get him because you can't have him doing that in your car, you don't want the liability of him getting hurt and say that when he can stay in his seat and belt, then he can ride in your car, but until then, she will have to come get him before you take your other kids out in your car. She won't like that, but maybe it will get her to make her child understand that he cannot do that anymore and if he wants to go wherever your going, he will have to sit nice.

I have had my 4 yr old dcb for 9 months now and he is getting much better. Still has meltdowns, but not as much as he knows that he will not get to do the things he wants if he has his hissy fits. I am trying to be patient with him and show him that I really care and he has even just recently started to give me a hug once in awhile, so I know I am making progress.
I wish you luck with your 4 yr old and hopefully he will start to listen and behave for you. If not, I would just term him and move on.