R.I.E. Parenting? Can it be True?

[MarinaVanessa]

IMHO, The point is not that it is bad to use confining equipment, it is to acknowledge the fact that the equipment is for the ADULTS, not the child.

No child needs a break in a swing or stroller. They are happy crawling around and exploring in a safe environment. The point is more about purposefully creating that safe environment instead of confining them from yours...

I hope that makes more sense?

This is it exactly.

“Allow the child to be authentic, to move, to feel the way they move, appreciating them for what they are”
Magda Gerber

“Let the child be the scriptwriter, director and actor in his own play.”
Magda Gerber

I've been to a RIE child care center and you'd be amazed. It was so calm, quiet and amazingly tranquil. There were both parents and "Educarers" (the name that Magda gave the child care providers in RIE) on the floor close to, but not overbearing, the infants and toddlers. The adults just observing and smiling and softly acknowledging the children when they turned towards them or went near them. It was one of the most awe-inspiring things I have ever seen. It resonated with me and changed a few things about me.

A lot of it made sense to me from just watching it. I figure if you can make it work in a child care setting then it should work better for parents. And I agree, the article in no way even begins to encompass what RIE really is. RIE is about respecting each infant and toddler as an individual, waiting and watching for their ques and trusting them (no copter-mom rushing to take little Suzie down from the equipment for fear from having her hurt herself). In RIE even boo-boo's are learning experiences.

[racemom]

After reading more about RIF I find I follow this principle to some degree. The only thing I really disagree with is no equipment. Sometimes our younger infants need a break from all the activity and the swing is a great place for them. We keep it in a quiet area of the room and when younger infants need a break they are placed there. Also I use the bouncy to keep them safe when we can't be right there to stop older infants from playing with baby. So while I would never use it as an all day placement I think there are good reasons to use them.

[Unregistered]

RIE is culty and weird

Why do we need a "program" or a "philosophy?"

I managed to raise three pretty good kids by pretty much just following my instincts.

I love your question and agree. I had a very creepy experience with a guy I dated who used some RIE techniques that he used with his daughter and first wife.
If I touched the little girl without permission, she would accuse me (quite rudely!) of grabbing her, apparently because it's considered "disrespectful" in RIE.
Once she was throwing salt in my face at a restaurant and I asked her to stop more than once. When she didn't, I took the salt shaker away from her. Her father didn't question if I got salt in my eye, but asked me to apologize to her for not respectfully asking for the shaker.
I found the whole philosophy truly twisted and kinda came to believe that he was following it because he didn't trust his own instincts. I can't believe it's all bad so it must have just been a weird approach to the philosogy.

[Cat Herder]

The RIE I discussed was from back in 1979 and it was for educators. Used, by parents for education, the philosophy can have great outcomes.

The new spin-off's can barely be compared to the original.

Back then someone would have corrected the parent if they failed to discipline their children in public and no one would have batted an eye.

[PB&J]

Wow. I came here to say that I read Felicity Huffman (the star who bought her child’s way into college) was an adherent and I stopped reading the article. Guess I’ll give it a second look. I’m all for parenting that “prepares the child for the road, and not the road for the child.”... by whatever trendy title parents need to call it (ummm, maybe).

[Cat Herder]

Felicity is far from the first and will not be the last. The rich have had different rules for as long as wealth was a thing. Meh.

Funny how the school admin that demanded and took bribes walked away.... Oh, yeah, it did not meet the prosecutor's agenda.

Magda Gerber is anything but trendy. :::: Read some of her work and not the new podcasts, blogs, or tweets that bastardize her work for profit. You won't regret it.

I only referenced the article for the young folks in the room. Planting a seed and all that jazz.

[Doron]

" Also I use the bouncy to keep them safe when we can't be right there to stop older infants from playing with baby. So while I would never use it as an all day placement I think there are good reasons to use them.
Exactly the main reasons as an Infant teacher in a classroom with 4-8 infants ages 6 weeks to 18 months. It is often for protection when attending to one child(diaper changing,feeding). I have put 6 month olds in an exersaucer and have put 16 moth olds in the pack and play with books or soft toys it is for safety. I still work on teaching safe interaction when I can be near.

[Ariana]

I have followed RIE for many years but agree that balance is key. It’s mostly just about respect, treating your child like a whole person and love. Sure bouncies and exersaucers are not great but if you don’t use these things and have no respect for your kid it won’t work! It’s not about the equipment in my opinion.

My parenting philosophy is quite simple: My relationship with my child is THE most important thing. Nothing else matters. So if I lay down rules and boundaries with this in mind, it’s done respectfully. I take time to connect with them and treat them with dignity and respect like anyone else.