Never Felt Like A Parent Thought I Was An Idiot Until Now

[small_steps]

I posted about this family yesterday.
They're only supposed to be here for 3 weeks anyway until their new babysitter is available. The strictly breast fed baby will not take a bottle for me which I don't think should be unexpected since he's only ever been given a few but the way mom comes across is that it's something I'm doing wrong and she is worried because he takes one just fine for grandma and dad.
Well dad came in last night and said he's only taken two for him (the kid is 7 and a half months!)
So since they don't believe me I went to get a bottle to show dad. Dad was holding the baby on his hip while I held the bottle up to his mouth. He of course moved his head away and didn't want it. Dad made a comment, something like,
Well if this is how you're holding him then that's probably why he won't eat!!!' Omg! Really? I didn't want to take the baby from dad, just wanted to give a quick example or how he doesn't want the bottle. Anyway, this baby getting around good, pulling up, crawling, he could hold the bottle on his own if he wanted to.
I tried to control what popped out of my mouth because at that moment i felt like they thought I'd never taken care of a baby before.
I said not that's not how I feed him. I just wanted to show you what he does when I put the bottle to his mouth. We've taken care of many many babies here and know how to hold a baby. Omg! I'm giving notice today for the end of the week. I do not feel like I owe them two weeks notice because this was a temporary thing anyway.
The baby comes in screaming at the top of his lungs. I take them 30 min earlier than opening time just to be nice and helpful because they work early but that results in my own kids waking up earlier than I want.
Would you be honest and say this isn't a good fit? And explain why? Or would you just say I've filled the positions with permanent kids which I could probably easily do cause I've got something in the works already.
I'm telling them today, just not exactly sure what to say.

[craftymissbeth]

If I wanted it to work out for the rest of the three weeks I'd have DAD prove to me that baby takes a bottle just fine. If he does it fine with dad then I would show them what's going on when I try.

If you don't want to ride it out (which I don't blame you) I would be honest by saying that you're just not the right fit for each other.

Good luck :hug:

[nannyde]

Have Dad feed him a bottle in front of you next time. You should have handed the kid to him and said SHOW ME.

I wouldn't give them notice. I wouldn't give them till the end of this week. I would refund and be done.

Most likely the baby isn't nipple trained. Always require a breast fed baby to eat a FULL bottle in front of you before you start the child. Have the dad or grandma come and show you that he can do it easily.

That stops the parental lying about being nipple trained. It is very common for parents to lie about that because they don't want to do the training themselves. Either the baby can't do it at all or takes a few sips and that is enough to get the parent to say they can do it.

Show me is the only way you will get the truth.

It's not understandable that the baby can't do it. It's the parents responsibility to have the child FULLY nipple trained before putting the child in care.

[lovemykidstoo]

I would also do that. Be honest with him since this is the major complaint and it's a big one. If the baby won't eat, that's a problem. I've had that problem recently. Have dad do it and if he won't eat for dad, then bye bye.

[Shell]

Agree with Nannyde. Since dad made you feel badly, I would also require he show you. At the end of the week, just say you found a full time replacement. I usually give vague reasons rather than getting into it with a parent -sometimes they try to argue their way back into care, and it gets ugly.

[small_steps]

Have Dad feed him a bottle in front of you next time. You should have handed the kid to him and said SHOW ME.

I wouldn't give them notice. I wouldn't give them till the end of this week. I would refund and be done.

Most likely the baby isn't nipple trained. Always require a breast fed baby to eat a FULL bottle in front of you before you start the child. Have the dad or grandma come and show you that he can do it easily.

That stops the parental lying about being nipple trained. It is very common for parents to lie about that because they don't want to do the training themselves. Either the baby can't do it at all or takes a few sips and that is enough to get the parent to say they can do it.

Show me is the only way you will get the truth.

It's not understandable that the baby can't do it. It's the parents responsibility to have the child FULLY nipple trained before putting the child in care.

I will definitely do this next time! Great idea. I'm no longer taking their word for it. Even after the first day they were here (this is the 3rd) you would think that she would have dad or grandma or someone, even herself give the baby a bottle knowing that he isn't doing well with it here. But no! She nurses him. I think I will just do that. Tell her today that I just can't keep them anymore. Baby cried all morning after they dropped off. He cries whenever I'm not standing up holding him. I just can't hold him all day. I won't. We have 10 other kids here besides these. Well y'all know how it is.

[small_steps]

Thanks everyone! I'm trying not to feel bad about it. I'm going to go ahead and dismiss today. Yesterday I was so irritAted with parents I'm sure my blood pressure was up. The money isn't worth the headache!

[cheerfuldom]

I would just term and be done with it. Let them know that baby is not eating for you and not happy in your care. Why lie and say you have replaced him?

[safechner]

Why can't he hold on his own bottle?? My now 6 months old son can hold his own bottle when he was just turned 4 months old. I am breastfeeding and I do pumped once or twice a day and give it to him if I need something to do around the house. He only learned how to hold his own bottle on his own without teaching him less than a month.

[Childminder]

He's 7.5 months give him a sippy cup with the valve out.

[craftymissbeth]

Why can't he hold on his own bottle?? My now 6 months old son can hold his own bottle when he was just turned 4 months old. I am breastfeeding and I do pumped once or twice a day and give it to him if I need something to do around the house. He only learned how to hold his own bottle on his own without teaching him less than a month.

I'll go out on a limb and say that it's because this child rarely, if ever, drinks a bottle

[small_steps]

I'll go out on a limb and say that it's because this child rarely, if ever, drinks a bottle

Exactly! He rarely if ever drinks from a bottle. I'm terming today. We've tried different sippy cups, different nipples on bottles and still he won't take it. She's known for months that he would go to daycare in January, so I don't understand why she hasn't been getting him used to the bottle.
I'm just going to issue a refund and tell her it's just too hard on him and us.

[small_steps]

I would just term and be done with it. Let them know that baby is not eating for you and not happy in your care. Why lie and say you have replaced him?

Just to avoid hurt/hard feelings. Sometimes parents get ugly when you term them even if you mean well.

[cheerfuldom]

Just to avoid hurt/hard feelings. Sometimes parents get ugly when you term them even if you mean well.

but you already told her there was an issue with bottle feeding. then to say "oh I replaced him" just makes you look unprofessional and sneaky. better to be honest and say "I did everything I could but this isn't working out" trust me, they are going to be mad either way. There is no way to phrase a termination where a parent is going to say "oh that is wonderful news" LOL just be honest. be ready for a parent to be upset but dont lower yourself to lying about it. Now, being vague/tactful is another. You dont have to unload every grievance on them as they walk out the door. Either they can graciously accept your termination or not.....no matter their reaction, it does not mean you did anything wrong!

[craftymissbeth]

I think in this situation the reason you're terming is definitely something this parent needs to know about. The new babysitter IS going to go through the same thing if they don't cut the crap and take action. They need to understand that this is a big enough problem that you are terming and cannot watch their child, kwim?

Let us know how it goes! :hug: