4 Year Old and Accidents

[Kcole1075]

I have a 4 year old who is having accidents . I constantly remind him to go to the bathroom. I have kid wet themselves before he osnt just wetting himself he is also pooping .

Today i sent him to go change and he leaned up against everything getting poop everywhere.

He doesnt tell me when he has to go. I already talked to his mom about it and she swears up and down he has a medical issue but says she cant get him to the doctors because they don't have an opening.

Help!! Sorry its a little gross.

[Play Care]

I have a 4 year old who is having accidents . I constantly remind him to go to the bathroom. I have kid wet themselves before he osnt just wetting himself he is also pooping .

Today i sent him to go change and he leaned up against everything getting poop everywhere.

He doesnt tell me when he has to go. I already talked to his mom about it and she swears up and down he has a medical issue but says she cant get him to the doctors because they don't have an opening.

Help!! Sorry its a little gross.

In this case I would say to mom "I need a written diagnosis from the doctor as well as the treatment plan. Until I have those items, I will not be able to provide care for Jimmy. It's simply too unsanitary and puts the other children at risk."

[craftymissbeth]

I would insist on a doctors note with diagnosis and treatment plan... but I would continue to care for him as long as he's in a pull-up (or diaper if that's what mom prefers). Medical condition or not he doesn't belong in underwear unless he's accident free.

[daycare]

I would insist on a doctors note with diagnosis and treatment plan... but I would continue to care for him as long as he's in a pull-up (or diaper if that's what mom prefers). Medical condition or not he doesn't belong in underwear unless he's accident free.

what she said...^^^^

don't buy into the mom's excuses. she can get an appointment.

[Leigh]

After the 2nd accident, that kid needed to go back to diapers. I would insist that the child be diapered until accident free.

[Soccermom]

I have an almost 7 year old DCB who does the same thing.

Makes me so mad! At that age they should know when they need to go. They either don't want to stop playing or are trying to hold it in until their parents arrive.

I make him clean himself up though but he still smells until DCM gets here and it is really gross. Smells up the whole space.

[Kcole1075]

I talked to mom again about this problem. She said she took him out of two daycares because therequested that she put him in pull ups. She also said he did so well over vacation.

I told her she needs to get him into a doctor to find out the issue because this cant keep happening here.

[Kcole1075]

I have an almost 7 year old DCB who does the same thing.

Makes me so mad! At that age they should know when they need to go. They either don't want to stop playing or are trying to hold it in until their parents arrive.

I make him clean himself up though but he still smells until DCM gets here and it is really gross. Smells up the whole space.

Him cleaning himself up is how it got everywhere because he "can't put his cloths on" his words. Its just a very frustrating situation.

[daycare]

I talked to mom again about this problem. She said she took him out of two daycares because therequested that she put him in pull ups. She also said he did so well over vacation.

I told her she needs to get him into a doctor to find out the issue because this cant keep happening here.

so basically when mom does not get her way, she is going to pull her kid out of daycare. WOW

sorry, I would not be ok with this and I would be STOMPING my foot down.

Sorry, it is a safety issues for all children involved.

If she has to have it her way, I would tell her this. Each time he has an accident, you need to come and get him and take him home. If there is any damage done to any part of my home, you will be responsible for paying to have it fixed.

NO WAY.... I am sure the kid does this at home too....

[Blackcat31]

I talked to mom again about this problem. She said she took him out of two daycares because therequested that she put him in pull ups. She also said he did so well over vacation.

I told her she needs to get him into a doctor to find out the issue because this cant keep happening here.

It doesn't matter where he does well.

He IS NOT doing well in daycare. That is ALL that matters to you.

If she wants/expects someone else to care for him, she needs to be concerned ONLY about how he is while in that person's care. period.

If he is in your care and has an accident, he should be I diapers/Pull ups.

It's unsanitary and gross for him to have accidents at someone else's house.

If I were in your shoes, I'd give mom two options:

Bring him in diapers/Pull up AND a doctor's written diagnosis so you can accommodate any other needs he may have appropriately

OR

Find alternate care.


It's HER child, so it's HER issue to manage.

[Meyou]

There is no medical issue with two other daycares in his past. There is a mom with issues and a boy who poops his pants because he doesn't want to go, IMO.

Pullups or term would be my two choices for Mom.

[Cat Herder]

I am on team pull-ups.

Like most here, I don't care about the why, I care the about the solution.

I really see only three solutions.

1. Kid wears pull-ups until 2 weeks accident free like everyone else.

2. Mom leaves work and comes to clean kid up IMMEDIATELY after each accident, then takes him home for the day. (nobody would choose this, it just makes a valid point that it is a PITA and really isn't this what she is asking from you. :confused: )

3. Mom moves kid to yet another daycare.

Surely Mom has to know you would not announce that he is in pull ups to other kids???? It is not a punishment, it keeps him from the humiliation of soiling his clothing yet again..... Heck, I know many adults in glorified pull ups, it is a solution not a punishment. We will all be there eventually, it isn't a crisis, Mom.

[Kcole1075]

I am going to bring up pull ups to her because yesterday he had the accident if front of the other kids and they 2 kinders told him he should be in pull ups. I had to talk to the older boys about it. But its not fair to him to deal with that embarrassment.

This kid is also going to kinder in the fall so it is an issue that will have to be addressed at some point.

[Great Beginnings]

I think ultimately you just need to tell mom that your daycare isn't a right fit for the family as your not equipt to handle his issues.

There really is a medical condition where children can't help themselfs and they don't know when they are doing it. It's called Encopresis I believe. It's very very rare but happens usually because the nerves down there have become desensitized, usually from frequent constipation. I learned this when a child in my son's class used to poop himself and I really had concerns of my son getting sick because he was leaving feces where he sat.

However, that being said.... Mom needs an appointment to find out if HER child has this condition or if there is something emotionally going on with this child. It's disgusting and not healthy and needs answers to why. Either way I don't know if I agree with putting a 4 year old in diapers. If it's emotional that could stunt him more. If it's medical, it really isn't his fault so why shame him.

[Leigh]

Has the child always had accidents, or was he "potty trained" and regressed? A potty trained child who suddenly starts having accidents NEEDS to see a doctor.

I would not "bring up" pull-ups to Mom, I would tell her this exactly: "I can not have these accidents happening. They humiliate your son, and they create a biohazard in my daycare, which is NOT allowed, as it is unsanitary. Starting tomorrow, he MUST be wearing a diaper (I don't use pull-ups here-I hate them), and he must remain in the diaper until he is reliably accident free. I will let you know when the diapers can stop. Perhaps he doesn't have accidents at home, but he DOES have them here, and he did have them at his last 2 daycares, and the diapers, like the other daycares, are NOT an option here, I must insist on them, and will not be accepting him into care in the future without them. I am sorry that it doesn't fit with your plan, but this is the ONLY solution that works here.