4 Year Old and Accidents

[craftymissbeth]

There is no medical issue with two other daycares in his past. There is a mom with issues and a boy who poops his pants because he doesn't want to go, IMO.

Pullups or term would be my two choices for Mom.

I do not agree. My 7 year old ds has encopresis and since he was 4 has soiled himself on an almost daily basis. Over the last 6 months or so it has gotten much better to where it's maybe weekly, but encopresis lasts YEARS even with medical intervention. (I am not going to go into details about what encopresis is... I'll let the curious google it)

Anyway, all that to say that there are medical conditions that would cause a child to soil themselves for extended periods of time without getting any better. In fact, ds's doctor said there is very little a doctor can actually do other than give support and to ensure the child is not impacted. Most of the work is done at home.

I still stand by what I said, though... he needs to be in a pull up or he just needs a nanny.

[Leigh]

I do not agree. My 7 year old ds has encopresis and since he was 4 has soiled himself on an almost daily basis. Over the last 6 months or so it has gotten much better to where it's maybe weekly, but encopresis lasts YEARS even with medical intervention. (I am not going to go into details about what encopresis is... I'll let the curious google it)

Anyway, all that to say that there are medical conditions that would cause a child to soil themselves for extended periods of time without getting any better. In fact, ds's doctor said there is very little a doctor can actually do other than give support and to ensure the child is not impacted. Most of the work is done at home.

I still stand by what I said, though... he needs to be in a pull up or he just needs a nanny.

I would encourage Mom to make an appointment with a gastroenterologist, not a GP or ped.

[cheerfuldom]

okay so two daycares have already complained about this? wow. mom needs to address it asap. i am with the others that I would refuse to provide care until he has been seen AND there is a treatment plan in place that you can support at daycare. saying he is fine and to allow the accidents is NOT a treatment plan LOL

[daycare]

we could all sit here saying that the kid does or does not have a medical issue with this.

Bottom line is that their is an issue here and the fact is that the kid is not using the toilet at daycare.

If mom does not want the child in anything but underwear, they need to get that child in to the DOC now. FInd out what is going on and go from there.

I would tell mom sorry, if you don't want them PU or Diaper then you need to get me a doc note NOW. Kid can't come back without it other wise kid is in diapers.

We need to take the necessary measures do protect everyone in our care, at no time should any child jeopardize the care of others.

[Play Care]

we could all sit here saying that the kid does or does not have a medical issue with this.

Bottom line is that their is an issue here and the fact is that the kid is not using the toilet at daycare.

If mom does not want the child in anything but underwear, they need to get that child in to the DOC now. FInd out what is going on and go from there.

I would tell mom sorry, if you don't want them PU or Diaper then you need to get me a doc note NOW. Kid can't come back without it other wise kid is in diapers.

We need to take the necessary measures do protect everyone in our care, at no time should any child jeopardize the care of others.

[Blackcat31]

we could all sit here saying that the kid does or does not have a medical issue with this.

Bottom line is that their is an issue here and the fact is that the kid is not using the toilet at daycare.

If mom does not want the child in anything but underwear, they need to get that child in to the DOC now. FInd out what is going on and go from there.

I would tell mom sorry, if you don't want them PU or Diaper then you need to get me a doc note NOW. Kid can't come back without it other wise kid is in diapers.

We need to take the necessary measures do protect everyone in our care, at no time should any child jeopardize the care of others.

I agree, but even if they got a doctor's note stating there is or isn't anything medically wrong, doesn't mean he can be in underwear if he is still having accidents...kwim?

The doctor's note for me would just be a starting place as to how to deal with the issue but it would NOT be permission to keep him in underwear.

[Kcole1075]

I think ultimately you just need to tell mom that your daycare isn't a right fit for the family as your not equipt to handle his issues.

There really is a medical condition where children can't help themselfs and they don't know when they are doing it. It's called Encopresis I believe. It's very very rare but happens usually because the nerves down there have become desensitized, usually from frequent constipation. I learned this when a child in my son's class used to poop himself and I really had concerns of my son getting sick because he was leaving feces where he sat.

However, that being said.... Mom needs an appointment to find out if HER child has this condition or if there is something emotionally going on with this child. It's disgusting and not healthy and needs answers to why. Either way I don't know if I agree with putting a 4 year old in diapers. If it's emotional that could stunt him more. If it's medical, it really isn't his fault so why shame him.

I think from her past comments that she feels it is shaming him to put him in pull ups and thats why she pulled him before. But she has no medical diagnos.
And although i think pull ups might effect him emotionally i have to wonder if pull ups or having the other children notice his accidents would effect him more.

[Meyou]

I do not agree. My 7 year old ds has encopresis and since he was 4 has soiled himself on an almost daily basis. Over the last 6 months or so it has gotten much better to where it's maybe weekly, but encopresis lasts YEARS even with medical intervention. (I am not going to go into details about what encopresis is... I'll let the curious google it)

Anyway, all that to say that there are medical conditions that would cause a child to soil themselves for extended periods of time without getting any better. In fact, ds's doctor said there is very little a doctor can actually do other than give support and to ensure the child is not impacted. Most of the work is done at home.

I still stand by what I said, though... he needs to be in a pull up or he just needs a nanny.

The child is in their third daycare without having seen a doctor. Anyone who actually thought there was a medical reason would have gone long before now. Like you did with your child. This mom chose to find new daycare several times instead of seeing a doctor for a documented medical reason and treatment plan....all too avoid her son in pullups or so it seems.

One of my kids had severe constipation issues for 3 years. She had accidents as well (until age 6) but there was a medical reason and treatment plan in place for home and for daycare/afterschool care.

[Maria2013]

After the 2nd accident, that kid needed to go back to diapers. I would insist that the child be diapered until accident free.

[Kcole1075]

Oh this is the thing i grow my backbone about( i have needed one for a while). He did it again (usually this is a every other day thing) and even while helping him he still got it on the floor.

He didnt tell me again!! So after smelling something and changing my diaper kids i sent him to the bathroom so i could help him change.

[daycare]

Oh this is the thing i grow my backbone about( i have needed one for a while). He did it again (usually this is a every other day thing) and even while helping him he still got it on the floor.

He didnt tell me again!! So after smelling something and changing my diaper kids i sent him to the bathroom so i could help him change.

yuck that stinks and ****s....

I hope that this turns around for you. A backbone is necessary in order to do this job long term and successfully.

it does take time to build one, trust me I know first hand. But the more that you do it, the easier it gets to use. as with everything, it takes practice.