Mom is Dying..DCPs Mean

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  • hgonzalez
    Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2012
    • 189

    Mom is Dying..DCPs Mean

    My Mom had a stroke last weekend, and is now determined to have a poor prognosis and is in hospice. I took Monday off to deal with moving her to hospice and spend time with her. She probably has less than a week to live.

    I worked both yesterday and today, and my DCP's are being so disrespectful. I asked them to please try to be on time and understand that I am going through a lot right now. I apologized for the inconvenience to them. Nothing I do is ever enough.

    Today, two parents were late picking up. No-one bothered to ask me how things were going. One parent who picks up early asked if her infant got taken outside today....we usually go out after she goes home. Like that is my priority right now, to make sure a 4 month old gets some outdoor time on her limited schedule. Sheesh.

    I am so sick of my DCP's being so selfish. It's not my fault they used their 4-5 weeks of vacation time for traveling and not for kids' illnesses and planning for my time off. Oh, and I have plenty of vacation time left as I have not used my measly 10 days yet. I am just completely fed up.
  • Unregistered

    #2
    Originally posted by hgonzalez
    My Mom had a stroke last weekend, and is now determined to have a poor prognosis and is in hospice. I took Monday off to deal with moving her to hospice and spend time with her. She probably has less than a week to live.

    I worked both yesterday and today, and my DCP's are being so disrespectful. I asked them to please try to be on time and understand that I am going through a lot right now. I apologized for the inconvenience to them. Nothing I do is ever enough.

    Today, two parents were late picking up. No-one bothered to ask me how things were going. One parent who picks up early asked if her infant got taken outside today....we usually go out after she goes home. Like that is my priority right now, to make sure a 4 month old gets some outdoor time on her limited schedule. Sheesh.

    I am so sick of my DCP's being so selfish. It's not my fault they used their 4-5 weeks of vacation time for traveling and not for kids' illnesses and planning for my time off. Oh, and I have plenty of vacation time left as I have not used my measly 10 days yet. I am just completely fed up.
    I am so sorry! Prayers and hugs coming your way!

    Comment

    • Msdunny
      Daycare.com Member
      • Nov 2012
      • 442

      #3
      First of all, hugs to you for all you are going through. :hug:

      My mom passed away at the first of this year, so I know how you are feeling - under-appreciated and unloved. You do what is best for you! DO NOT let yourself feel guilty for standing up to thoughtless, uncaring adults. Charge them for any late pick-ups - especially if you have given them a time to be at your home.

      And again, I am so sorry you are facing this. Do what works for you - I have heard it said many times here, and I totally agree...in a few years you will not remember the child that was in your home that day, but you will remember the time you didn't have with your mother.

      Comment

      • boysx5
        Daycare.com Member
        • Mar 2010
        • 681

        #4
        So sorry I know what you are going through my dad passed away last dec and some parents were so rude

        Comment

        • Meeko
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Mar 2011
          • 4349

          #5
          I would have NO problem being sharp with them. When it comes to my family, "professional" takes a back seat. I would have complained to the late parents and made sure they knew I was REALLY upset.

          And take as much time off as you need. Their needs come a very distant second to yours right now. Sounds like you are trying to work as much as you can. They need to be grateful for that.

          Comment

          • Annalee
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jul 2012
            • 5864

            #6
            Originally posted by hgonzalez
            My Mom had a stroke last weekend, and is now determined to have a poor prognosis and is in hospice. I took Monday off to deal with moving her to hospice and spend time with her. She probably has less than a week to live.

            I worked both yesterday and today, and my DCP's are being so disrespectful. I asked them to please try to be on time and understand that I am going through a lot right now. I apologized for the inconvenience to them. Nothing I do is ever enough.

            Today, two parents were late picking up. No-one bothered to ask me how things were going. One parent who picks up early asked if her infant got taken outside today....we usually go out after she goes home. Like that is my priority right now, to make sure a 4 month old gets some outdoor time on her limited schedule. Sheesh.

            I am so sick of my DCP's being so selfish. It's not my fault they used their 4-5 weeks of vacation time for traveling and not for kids' illnesses and planning for my time off. Oh, and I have plenty of vacation time left as I have not used my measly 10 days yet. I am just completely fed up.
            I lost my dad 11 years ago.....stayed the entire last ten days with him in the hospital as did my other siblings and extended family members.....some dcp were sympathetic but I had two dcp at the time that "decided" to call the others to see if they were going to "pay" for this time I was off......THey thought I would not find out but I called them on it and termed.......If I had it to do all over again, I would still take the time off....It falls under my "emergency days" which are unlimited and could come WITHOUT NOTICE! Do what you feel is right for your mother....Do NOT allow dcp to make you feel guilty. Time is precious with our loved ones and it passes much too quickly! :hug::hug::hug:

            Comment

            • Maria2013
              Daycare.com Member
              • Aug 2013
              • 1026

              #7
              so sorry for you :hug::hug:

              Comment

              • Josiegirl
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jun 2013
                • 10834

                #8
                Dcfs come and go, you've only got one mom. My heart goes out to you, this is one of the most difficult times you'll ever go through.
                As for the dcps, I'd tell them you're closing early and that's that. If they don't understand term. Simple as that. I'm usually very patient when it comes to dcps being late, etc., etc., but if I was going through something like what you're going through(I have twice) I wouldn't give a damn what they said or thought, they'd be history.

                Comment

                • Unregistered

                  #9
                  Originally posted by hgonzalez
                  My Mom had a stroke last weekend, and is now determined to have a poor prognosis and is in hospice. I took Monday off to deal with moving her to hospice and spend time with her. She probably has less than a week to live.

                  I worked both yesterday and today, and my DCP's are being so disrespectful. I asked them to please try to be on time and understand that I am going through a lot right now. I apologized for the inconvenience to them. Nothing I do is ever enough.

                  Today, two parents were late picking up. No-one bothered to ask me how things were going. One parent who picks up early asked if her infant got taken outside today....we usually go out after she goes home. Like that is my priority right now, to make sure a 4 month old gets some outdoor time on her limited schedule. Sheesh.

                  I am so sick of my DCP's being so selfish. It's not my fault they used their 4-5 weeks of vacation time for traveling and not for kids' illnesses and planning for my time off. Oh, and I have plenty of vacation time left as I have not used my measly 10 days yet. I am just completely fed up.
                  I would take the rest of the week off and go be with your mom. Tell them that you're sorry, but you SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT and you'll take this time off as part of your 10 days. Let them know that your mother is dying and that this is very serious, and remind them that the reason you have chosen to take off is 2 fold. #1 the situation in it of itself and #2 that you have tried to work through it but it's too stressful, especially since they have not been respectful of the fact that you have a horrible situation to deal with AND have not followed your policies on being on time. Let them know that once they return, you'll be going over policies and procedures again and they'll be signing an agreement stating that they have read/understood/accepted them as of (what ever date) and that's that. No more games.

                  I am VERY VERY sorry you are going through this. (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))

                  Comment

                  • hope
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 1513

                    #10
                    I'm sorry you are going through this right now. You and your family will be in my prayers.
                    If you have 10 days vacation left please use them. Maybe you can type up am email to dcps explaining that you need this time to spend with your mom in her last days. What really matters? Spend some time at hospice and put your mother and yourself first.

                    Comment

                    • Michael
                      Founder & Owner-Daycare.com
                      • Aug 2007
                      • 7946

                      #11
                      Sorry to hear about your mom. My dad had a stroke which paralyzed his left side. After care and eating well, he made a full recovery. Don't give up hope.

                      Your DC parents are another matter. I would seriously consider moving them out when you get other offers.

                      Comment

                      • Lorri
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Nov 2013
                        • 50

                        #12
                        Hugs, so sorry you are going threw this. When my dad was in the hospital and dying,my first priority was him and my family. I was lucky my parents were excellent. They help me out in so many ways, I couldn't of gotten threw it without them. Put you family first.

                        Comment

                        • e.j.
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 3738

                          #13
                          I'm sorry to hear of your mother's prognosis and the lack of compassion your dc parents are showing you. If it were me, I'd start taking those 10 vacation days so I could spend what time there is left with her or at least threaten to if parents continue to show up late for pick ups.

                          Comment

                          • Soccermom
                            Dazed and confused...
                            • Mar 2012
                            • 625

                            #14
                            I am so sorry for you :hug:

                            I lost my father to cancer 10 years ago. He was diagnosed and gone within 8 weeks. It was tough and I took 6 weeks off work to deal with it. (I wasn't working in daycare at the time so I could)

                            You need to focus on you and your mom right now. Don't let them make you feel guilty for closing for a few days to deal with a family emergency.

                            Most DCPS have no compassion for us or our families at all. Over the years, I have maybe had 1 or 2 DCFS who actually cared and were sympathetic to what was going on with my own family.

                            Take the time you need and don't give it a second thought.

                            Comment

                            • Luna
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Oct 2010
                              • 790

                              #15
                              Don't miss another moment with your Mom. Those families will find a way to get by, but you cannot get that time back with your Mom. I'm so sorry.

                              Comment

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