Any Advice For A Naive And New Provider???

[Unregistered]

Seriously why is it so hard to stand up for myself? When I first started babysitting for a few different friends I thought it would be ok to keep things casual. I never expected I would be taken advantage of and I had no idea the kind of issues that would come up.

I never made anyone sign a contract and I don't have any policies.....just some basic common sense rules. I naively thought that since we all knew each other and were " friend" respect would be mutual.

I was soooooo wrong! I am rarely paid on time, by two different family's, I've had parents drop kids off with fevers and expect me to give out medication, I 've had parents bring peanut products into my house when they know my daughter is allergic.They are constantly allowing kids to bring toys from home even though I 've asked them not too. Late pick ups, late drop offs, they don't seem to realize that I am caring for 6 kids and a schedule is important.

I bring these things to their attention....but it seems like they think I work for them instead of for myself. They just brush it off or come up with excuses. Almost as if they don't consider what I do a real job.....

I have learned so much from reading all your posts and I wish I would of done it differently from the start. I know the parents really enjoy our casual relationship , less rules to follow but I am putting lots of work into caring for their children and want to be respected for it.....and appreciated!

The latest blow came today when dcm picked up her two boys and told me she can't pay me until after Christmas......I really need the money before Christmas. I told her this and she just laughed and said well if I don't have it ....I can't give it to you! I also gave her a tin of Christmas baking and bought presents for her kids and did not even receive a thank you!!!!

Now I have to tell her I can't babysit for her anymore....and I am worried she won't pay me at all. She owes me $340.00!!!!

I would like to start the new year with contracts and a late fee policy but I am unsure how to go about it......I just wan to be taken seriously! Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated....I feel so dumb for getting into this mess!

[Annalee]

Seriously why is it so hard to stand up for myself? When I first started babysitting for a few different friends I thought it would be ok to keep things casual. I never expected I would be taken advantage of and I had no idea the kind of issues that would come up.

I never made anyone sign a contract and I don't have any policies.....just some basic common sense rules. I naively thought that since we all knew each other and were " friend" respect would be mutual.

I was soooooo wrong! I am rarely paid on time, by two different family's, I've had parents drop kids off with fevers and expect me to give out medication, I 've had parents bring peanut products into my house when they know my daughter is allergic.They are constantly allowing kids to bring toys from home even though I 've asked them not too. Late pick ups, late drop offs, they don't seem to realize that I am caring for 6 kids and a schedule is important.

I bring these things to their attention....but it seems like they think I work for them instead of for myself. They just brush it off or come up with excuses. Almost as if they don't consider what I do a real job.....

I have learned so much from reading all your posts and I wish I would of done it differently from the start. I know the parents really enjoy our casual relationship , less rules to follow but I am putting lots of work into caring for their children and want to be respected for it.....and appreciated!

The latest blow came today when dcm picked up her two boys and told me she can't pay me until after Christmas......I really need the money before Christmas. I told her this and she just laughed and said well if I don't have it ....I can't give it to you! I also gave her a tin of Christmas baking and bought presents for her kids and did not even receive a thank you!!!!

Now I have to tell her I can't babysit for her anymore....and I am worried she won't pay me at all. She owes me $340.00!!!!

I would like to start the new year with contracts and a late fee policy but I am unsure how to go about it......I just wan to be taken seriously! Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated....I feel so dumb for getting into this mess!

I think all providers have been in your shoes at some point, especially in the beginning.... You are at the right place for support and encouragement....Do what feels right for your business! Take care of you and your family! Be non-negotiable with the contract/policy changes you feel the strongest about. It will be difficult at first but it gets easier with time.....I had a mentor that I could call after I made a drastic change to my contract and she always lifted me up telling me I was also a "business owner" and had to take care of myself financially as well....then there is the emotional side which comes by taking days off (holidays, vacations, professional days, personal time, etc.). It is a process so be prepared to meet certain resistance along the way. But remember IT IS YOUR BUSINESS!

[DaycareMom]

I did the same thing when I started so I know how you are feeling.
It is the perfect time to make up a contract and policy handbook with the new year coming up.
As for the woman who is not paying you and owes you ... do NOT accept her child into care until she pays in full. She will continue to take advantage of you if you let her. There is not another place she will go that will allow her to NOT pay.
I would write a letter explaining that you want everyone to be on the same page and need things to run smoothly. Tell them schedule is important for their children and to be able for you to do all you can do for them.
Give them the letter, policy handbook, and contract on Monday and make it due January 2nd. - Make sure you put that you are to be paid BEFORE care is provided.
You might lose some families (I did) but the good ones won't go anywhere.
It will be worth it in the long run to not have to deal with people that don't respect you!

Sorry you are having such a rough time *hugs*. Let us know what happens. Good Luck!

[MarinaVanessa]

I would tough it out until after Christmas and then have her pay what she owes. As soon as she pays you the full amount and gets caught up require her to pay you in advance of care, as in have her pay you no later than either Friday evening or Monday morning which would pay for that week in advance. In other words have her prepay for daycare and if she "forgets her wallet" or otherwise doesn't pay you DON'T WATCH HER CHILD. If she "laughs" (i.e. doesn't take you seriously) or refuses, terminate her immediately.

We've all been noobs before and the one thing that helped me was to realize that I am a daycare provider and a business woman. This is my business and I need to treat it as such. As a business woman I need to have confidence not only in myself but in the quality of child care that I provide and the business that I run.

When it comes to breaking policies and disrespect allow none of it. Terminate and find another client. If more than one client is giving you problems weed them out by terminating them and replacing them one by one. More than likely the other problem clients will either get on board with the program when they see how serious you are or they will be replaced.

Good luck!!

Don't forget to fill us in with your decision and give us updates!!

[Evansmom]

Wait until she pays you and then term if you want.

I don't think it's too late to come up with a contract and get all your clients to sign it, it will weed out the clients you don't want to work with anyway. The ones you want to work with will sign it! I know you can get lots of advice on this website on what to include in your contract. Just print it out and give the parents 2 weeks to return them signed or find other arrangements.

When I started my business I hadn't come up with my contract yet either and it was a mess! My first client walked all over me too. You're right, they think YOU are working for THEM in that case. When you present yourself and your program to clients as a business you clearly state that THEY are YOUR clients. Big difference.

I greatly encourage you to come up with a contract and parent handbook. Take the reigns and know that the service you offer and the care you give your daycare children is worth respect and consideration.

[coolconfidentme]

Create a policy, have them sign that they read it & stick to it. It it helps say, "Per policy bla bla bla..." like you are blaming it.

ps.. Get a contract too. If they don't want to sign either, tell them they have to find care elsewhere. The. End.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would tough it out until after Christmas and then have her pay what she owes. As soon as she pays you the full amount and gets caught up require her to pay you in advance of care, as in have her pay you no later than either Friday evening or Monday morning which would pay for that week in advance. In other words have her prepay for daycare and if she "forgets her wallet" or otherwise doesn't pay you DON'T WATCH HER CHILD. If she "laughs" (i.e. doesn't take you seriously) or refuses, terminate her immediately.

We've all been noobs before and the one thing that helped me was to realize that I am a daycare provider and a business woman. This is my business and I need to treat it as such. As a business woman I need to have confidence not only in myself but in the quality of child care that I provide and the business that I run.

When it comes to breaking policies and disrespect allow none of it. Terminate and find another client. If more than one client is giving you problems weed them out by terminating them and replacing them one by one. More than likely the other problem clients will either get on board with the program when they see how serious you are or they will be replaced.

Good luck!!

Don't forget to fill us in with your decision and give us updates!!

YES. I would wait so you at least get what she owes you and THEN I would begin refusing to care for her child if her account is not paid in full. That is ridiculous.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Create a policy, have them sign that they read it & stick to it. It it helps say, "Per policy bla bla bla..." like you are blaming it.

ps.. Get a contract too. If they don't want to sign either, tell them they have to find care elsewhere. The. End.

Exactly. It helps greatly.

[Soccermom]

**Hugs**

I could have written your post a few years ago. This is exactly how I started out - just babysitting for friends and I just assumed that it would be great. Wrong! I was so taken advantage of and I found it really hard to stand up for myself because these were people that I knew well and it didn't feel right.

It was really hard to enforce rules afterwards too because I was afraid they would be mad and I felt stupid for not thinking about all that stuff beforehand.

I just started getting really fed up and started to slowly stand up for myself.

When someone would say they couldn't pay me or they "forgot" to stop at the bank, I would say - That's fine. I will be here until 8pm tonight so you can pop in anytime before then to bring it to me. I need to get groceries for my kids in the morning and really need my pay.

There were times when they would say they didn't have the $ or would just not show up. Once I called a DCM at 7h45am on a Saturday morning and said -I waited for you last night but you were a no show. I am heading out now and I am going to stop by for my $. LOL

A few times they would be really late picking up and I would just then decide that me and the kids were going out for supper I would have us all ready to go at the door (Their kids included). I would rush out as soon as she left in a big hurry.

It was all passive aggressive I guess but it worked for me. Eventually I made up a handbook and asked the parents to sign it. I told them that things just weren't working the way they were and that if I didn't start to enforce some rules, it was going to be the end of daycare for me.

Good luck! We are all here for you!

[Unregistered]

Thanks so much for all the advice, you re all so supportive.

I guess I just worry about being taken seriously because I have tried to give them copies of our daily routine, and meal plans, circle time songs, ect to keep them in the loop and and most of them don't know why I go to all the trouble, of printing it out! I mean if someone was watching my kids for 50 hours a week I would want to know these things....I can't imagine the looks on their faces if I handed them a hand book!!!!! Lol
I think thy just expect me to let them watch tv and run wild. But I can't raise my kids like that.

[MotherNature]

really good advice in this thread. Most of us have been there too. I just started a year ago and had a terrible family first thing. Then recently, a new family challenged me on my vacation time-next two weeks, paid. I gathered my backbone & explained that yes, they needed to pay & they asked for a copy of the contract & handbook, so I emailed them. They sheepishly handed me the money a couple days later. (They pay a month in advance, so this month had been short a week's pay.) I'd definitely start making them pay in advance though. I collect pay on Friday for the week to come.