Vent

[cheerfuldom]

Attention all people in my life....I know I have a wonderful house with a great basement playroom and a fenced in, awesome yard HOWEVER that does not mean that I will do any of the following:

1. babysit your kids for free. Nor will I swap babysitting with you because you never hold your end of the bargain!

2. have playdates during daycare hours aka babysit your kids for free while you hang out and relax and i am scrambling to watch everyone

3. host your events like your childs birthday party. I have four kids and we have enough family events without doing yours. And no, not even if you promise to set up and clean up on your own. I still have to be here, crate my dog, pickup the areas that are walked thru, etc etc. Are you really going to mop up pee accident from Jr. waiting to long to potty during your party? I didn't think so

4. provide a sitter or kids activity when our families plan a double date. i found my own sitter, you find yours. Just because your kids love it at my house does not mean I want them here all the time plus you never feed them before sending them over, do not clean up after them and you give me a hard time about going halves on the sitter. You should be paying MORE than half anyway since I am providing the place.

5. let your kids run through my house, get into our bedrooms, or act like they live here. You should be controlling them and you don't and thats why they are not welcome here.

6. take your kids into drop in daycare when you give me literally 15 minutes before you bring your kids over. No I dont have room and even if I did, I would say no just to make a point. I am not your backup plan. I have way too much going on to worry about what you will do now that I said no. Not my problem.

PS I am very annoyed and hurt when you are not interested in being my friend after you find out that I will not allow the above. Don't think that I don't notice you only want to do playdates during daycare hours, that you never invite me to your house, that you always take advantage of me. Remember that time you asked to drop off both your kids during my kids birthday party when only one child was invited? and you told me you wanted to use this time to have a date with another friend? and you got upset when I said no after the invitation specifically said no younger siblings? Yeah I did not forget how rude you were. I also have not forgotten about how quickly you back out of a double date when it is not your time frame, with a sitter provided for your kids at my house. I don't feel that you want to spend time with me. You are using me to get time away from your own kids and are hoping I will organize everything and provide free babysitting at my house on top of that. I know my own sitter is awesome. That is why I dont want to share her number with you!

*and no all these requests are not from one person. Apparently if you open a daycare, your house is now a free for all for the family, friends and neighbors....or at least that is what they would like to think .

[Leigh]

I can't believe "friends" would ask that of you! I have a friend who is reluctant to bring her son to my house because she thinks I get enough of kids during the day. It took her MONTHS of my offering to watch her son (for free) when her daycare wasn't available before she took me up on it! Her son and mine are the same age and close with each other...my kid (and my daycare kids) love it when he is here, and so do I. I don't offer this to anyone else, but this is my best friend from grade school, and she has done SO much for me, but still, she has a hard time "imposing".

[Blackcat31]

Apparently if you open a daycare, your house is now a free for all for the family, friends and neighbors....or at least that is what they would like to think .

I hear you! :hug: :hug: :hug:

I know EXACTLY what you mean!


I will tell you a little story about what happens with MY daycare house.... it's a little long but sorta, kinda funny. Kinda.

My dad (my own father) lives about 2-2.5 hours away. When he comes to town to visit friends or my younger sibling he will just assume that I will provide shelter for him. He wants to stay at my daycare house...well, because it's free and lacks that feeling of being a "guest" in someone else's home...kwim?

Well one weekend, my dad called and said he would be in town shortly but if I closed up for the day before he arrived, just leave the door open so he can get in (he does NOT have a key).

Well fast forward to about midnight and my home phone rings. The caller ID says MY name. I am thinking "OMG!what is wrong?!" (My dad has a cell so he would never use my landline from daycare)

When I answered, it was a woman (another gasp from me ) and she identifies herself as a local police officer. She asks if my dad's name is xxxxxx and I say yes. She then asks if my dad has permission to be at my daycare house. Again, I say yes.

Apparently, my dad decided to meet up with some old friends down at the VFW and since the VFW is a few blocks from my daycare house, he had walked rather than driving and risking a DWI.

Well, since he walked and was obviously intoxicated, he went to the WRONG house. He was exactly where my daycare house is, just one block off.

The door was locked so he had tried basically breaking in. The poor elderly woman who lived in the house he was breaking into, was scared half to death and called the police. Hence the police calling me.

Now I no longer allow my dad (or any of my brothers and their families) to stay in my daycare house.

NONE of them understand why. They all think I am being mean.

Yeah, just what I want.... the police department (or anyone for that matter) to connect MY business to things like what my dad did...

I know this is no consolation Cheer to your situation but I just wanted you to know you weren't alone and that that kind of attitude is commonplace for provider's friends' and family to have.

:hug:

[wabbittrouble]

Wow, Black cat - just wow. LOL

Cheerful... you don't need friends like that. They are not friends. Find some real friends if you can. It's a shame that people do that to others.

[Soccermom]

I know what you mean!

All our friends have kids and so anytime we want to get together, they always assume it will be here since I have the daycare space and the big outdoor play area for them to play while we have dinner or drinks....and then I end up reorganizing everything for hours afterwards!!

My kids are here all day, everyday...they like to go to other people's houses once in awhile to play too!

And all our family with kids want to stay here with us when they visit since it is so fun for their kids, especially if they are visiting during the week because their child gets to be a part of the daycare while Mom and Dad relax.
There are 3 other houses you can stay at! I love you but this is a business, not a Holiday Inn with complimentary Kids' Camp!

[Annalee]

Attention all people in my life....I know I have a wonderful house with a great basement playroom and a fenced in, awesome yard HOWEVER that does not mean that I will do any of the following:

1. babysit your kids for free. Nor will I swap babysitting with you because you never hold your end of the bargain!

2. have playdates during daycare hours aka babysit your kids for free while you hang out and relax and i am scrambling to watch everyone

3. host your events like your childs birthday party. I have four kids and we have enough family events without doing yours. And no, not even if you promise to set up and clean up on your own. I still have to be here, crate my dog, pickup the areas that are walked thru, etc etc. Are you really going to mop up pee accident from Jr. waiting to long to potty during your party? I didn't think so

4. provide a sitter or kids activity when our families plan a double date. i found my own sitter, you find yours. Just because your kids love it at my house does not mean I want them here all the time plus you never feed them before sending them over, do not clean up after them and you give me a hard time about going halves on the sitter. You should be paying MORE than half anyway since I am providing the place.

5. let your kids run through my house, get into our bedrooms, or act like they live here. You should be controlling them and you don't and thats why they are not welcome here.

6. take your kids into drop in daycare when you give me literally 15 minutes before you bring your kids over. No I dont have room and even if I did, I would say no just to make a point. I am not your backup plan. I have way too much going on to worry about what you will do now that I said no. Not my problem.

PS I am very annoyed and hurt when you are not interested in being my friend after you find out that I will not allow the above. Don't think that I don't notice you only want to do playdates during daycare hours, that you never invite me to your house, that you always take advantage of me. Remember that time you asked to drop off both your kids during my kids birthday party when only one child was invited? and you told me you wanted to use this time to have a date with another friend? and you got upset when I said no after the invitation specifically said no younger siblings? Yeah I did not forget how rude you were. I also have not forgotten about how quickly you back out of a double date when it is not your time frame, with a sitter provided for your kids at my house. I don't feel that you want to spend time with me. You are using me to get time away from your own kids and are hoping I will organize everything and provide free babysitting at my house on top of that. I know my own sitter is awesome. That is why I dont want to share her number with you!

*and no all these requests are not from one person. Apparently if you open a daycare, your house is now a free for all for the family, friends and neighbors....or at least that is what they would like to think .

For some reason, society thinks FCC Providers do not "work".....I have been asked by others to watch yard sales, run over to the neighbor to ask something, get calls for phone numbers regularly since I am "just home anyway" and have access to a phone book, etc... ::::

There are some funny stories on this thread and only an FCC provider would understand. ::::

[Lucy]

When my husband's daughter and her two girls (6 & 8) come in from out of state for a visit, of course the girls want to play with all my daycare stuff. I'm sure it looks like a treasure trove to them. So I understand them wanting to play with stuff, maybe do a little bit of crafts, get the puzzles out and do them, etc., etc. I don't have a problem with that. I mean, they're here for the weekend and have nothing else to do - no friends here, etc., so how am I going to say "you can't touch any of my DC stuff"? Normally we go to where they live (5 hours) because we can afford the gas more than they can, and the girls can stay occupied in their OWN rooms LOL, but they have been here a couple times.

What I have a problem with, is that they never put things away. I got after them once because they left a bunch of stuff on the table, then went outside without putting it away. I made them come back in to clean up. (Meanie, huh? ) But later on, I found a bunch of craft supplies stuffed under and behind other things. That's how they "cleaned up". I was livid! Their mother never enforces anything. She saw and heard me call them back in to clean up - AGAIN. She said nothing. I'm sure I come off as the wicked step-grandma, but I don't care.

I just think if that were ME going to someone else's house, I would make darn sure we had full permission to use or play with anything, and make sure everything got put back exactly how it was found. I would be right on top of them, and they would not leave the area until everything was spotless. But that's just me....

[MotherNature]

Wow.. Those are horrible! I'd be furious too.

[Maria2013]

you guys need a hug :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[cheerfuldom]

One time a sister came to visit unexpectantly. I had to keep working and was also pregnant at the time. I totally crashed on the weekend and the sister took all the kids downstairs for a bit to play which I appreciated. Then I found out later that her and another sister agreed that I not a good host! That did make me upset because they all stayed here for free and I fed everyone and the kids did play together. No I could not throw a huge circus for all these people because you did not give me notice of your coming, time to save any money or plan anything! What exactly can i do to "be a good host" while working, mothering, and being pregnant???

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I've had a few "friends" over the years, too. These are women that act like I'm their long lost best friend, then quickly fall off the radar when I decline the privilege to babysit their little darling(s) for free, either during dc hours or for a date night. A reciprocate of an invite to these people's homes for dinner and drinks so their children may run wild in their own house is rare.

Now, since my own children are older, dh and I don't even attempt to be social with any couples that have small children. When I'm done working for the day, I'm done working for the day.

On a slightly different, but entirely related note: You gotta love those "friends" that disappear from your life when you've bought all the purses/bags/books/jewelry/kitchen implements/food mixes/candles/wax you could ever use in 20 lifetimes!::::::

[nannyde]

I've had a terrible problem with workers trying to bring their kids here. If I hire out any electrical, painting, carpeting etc... they show up with their kid on work day.

I had one daycare dad who was a construction worker and was great at doing odd jobs. I hired him to do a lot of work at 25 bucks an hour. He kept taking longer than he said and his kid ended up being in my house later into the day. I finally started having him come after work and he STILL brought his kid. I refused to watch him so he let him run around my garage and in my back yard. The Mom was with him but she just let him run.

I had given them five pairs of footed jammies for their son because they kept sending him in clothes that didn't fit. The first day I gave them to them he brought his kid when he was working on my garage. The Mom let him run around my back yard in the footed jammies. I told her no that there was dog poop back there from my old English sheep dog. She still allowed it and he creamed out in my back yard with dog poop all over him. OF COURSE she wanted to clean him up in my house.

I don't allow anyone to bring their kid here to play. I'm getting to the point where I'm not even going to allow interviews to bring their kid that is mobile until I have spent enough time to think I want the kid.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Wow, NannyD! That's a new one! What do you do then, without having your property trashed by an unsupervised child? I suppose when it came time to pay the bill, I'd deduct $10/hour for childcare.

I guess it's assumed that we providers, every moment of our lives, wish to be surrounded by the joy that is other people's children. You know the saying: Assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me."

[Maria2013]

I've had a terrible problem with workers trying to bring their kids here. If I hire out any electrical, painting, carpeting etc... they show up with their kid on work day.