Helping with Clothing?

[Play Care]

I have two 3 1/2 yo dck's. Both are potty trained. When they use the bathroom after nap, they take off their pull ups, use the potty and put their underwear and pants back on. If I can't be right there to help, they often put pants on backwards or inside out. One on hand I feel as though this is part of the learning process - one of the kids especially had a really difficult time learning the skill - and honestly I don't see the big deal if a child's pants are backwards, especially when they are so proud of doing it themselves.

On the other hand, I know at least one of the parents gets annoyed when he sees this. Should I insist on changing them again if they didn't get it "right?" or give them an opportunity to fix it (though I don't want them to get frustrated especially when they worked hard to get them on in the first place) Do you just smile when a parent is annoyed by it and say "she is learning, and did it all herself! I'm so proud of her!"

[mema]

I've done it both ways depending on the child. One I had didn't care that I told her they were backwards. She would either happily fix it or leave them. Mom would get annoyed sometimes, but I figure if she wanted them fixed, she could do it. If they were jeans or something that had a zipper and button, I had her fix them for comfort, but if they were stretchy pants, I didn't care. Now, the one I have now, if you tell him they are backwards or inside out will breakdown screaming and kicking. I don't bother with him. It's not worth the 30-45 minute tantrum. Mom doesn't care. She knows his tantrums and she doesn't take them anywhere unless an absolute emergency anyway. They are either here, at home, or grandma's.

[spinnymarie]

I agree with you that's its definitely an important part of independence and learning to get dressed - and that you purposefully leave them to it.

[cheerfuldom]

I would teach them to do it right. Tag goes on the booty, is how I teach my daughters. If it is really that upsetting to a kid, I would leave it....or possible have them fix it right before pickup if that is a better time.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

Do you just smile when a parent is annoyed by it and say "she is learning, and did it all herself! I'm so proud of her!"

Yep--pretty much that it what I say. To me, it's just like when a baby is learning to talk--you don't correct every mispronunciation they make; you respond to their effort. They say "mo," you give them more. They feel proud and keep trying and soon they correct themselves. Same with clothes.

I consider a huge part of my job to be teaching the parents (for whom this is often their first try with kids, whereas I've had 20 years to learn). I don't embarrass kids to placate their parents.

[Sunchimes]

My dcg is not quite 3 1/2. I tell her that the tag on her pants goes in back and the picture (or flower or bow) on the shirt goes on her tummy. When her shirt gets twisted and ends up backward, she will try to turn it. She knows it's wrong and wants to fix it, but she hasn't quite mastered exactly how to turn it around. I do help her with that.

Shoes is the other thing. When she was first learning to put them on, I drew arrows on the heels with marker. She learned that there was a right way and a wrong way, and at first, I corrected her. After a while, when she had the idea down, I stopped. Now, she will sometimes put them on and ask me if they are right. I just say yes or no and leave it to her to change them. Sometimes, if I notice them on wrong, I ask if her shoes feel ok. Sometimes she says yes and we go on with our day. Other times she thinks a minute and decides they don't feel good and will change them.

[Play Care]

My dcg is not quite 3 1/2. I tell her that the tag on her pants goes in back and the picture (or flower or bow) on the shirt goes on her tummy. When her shirt gets twisted and ends up backward, she will try to turn it. She knows it's wrong and wants to fix it, but she hasn't quite mastered exactly how to turn it around. I do help her with that.

Shoes is the other thing. When she was first learning to put them on, I drew arrows on the heels with marker. She learned that there was a right way and a wrong way, and at first, I corrected her. After a while, when she had the idea down, I stopped. Now, she will sometimes put them on and ask me if they are right. I just say yes or no and leave it to her to change them. Sometimes, if I notice them on wrong, I ask if her shoes feel ok. Sometimes she says yes and we go on with our day. Other times she thinks a minute and decides they don't feel good and will change them.

I will do that with the kids, but both of them are very strong willed. So if they think it's right, then it is::

[daycarediva]

Yep--pretty much that it what I say. To me, it's just like when a baby is learning to talk--you don't correct every mispronunciation they make; you respond to their effort. They say "mo," you give them more. They feel proud and keep trying and soon they correct themselves. Same with clothes.

I consider a huge part of my job to be teaching the parents (for whom this is often their first try with kids, whereas I've had 20 years to learn). I don't embarrass kids to placate their parents.

Couldn't agree more! Self help skills are essentially ONLY taught here for my daycare kids. I would respond that they are trying and super proud that they did it all by themselves, and maybe include it in the next newsletter/note home.

[Meyou]

I send them back to try again when they put them on wrong.

[Blackcat31]

I just let the child know their clothing is backwards, inside out etc and let THEM choose whether or not they would like to fix it.

It's their clothing. I don't think it's worth the fight to insist they do it correctly when really what is the big deal?

It's just like wearing green pants with a bright blue shirt...might not match but it's the child's right to choose....kwim?

If parents make comments about it, I just smile and say "BIG picture. They are dressed. I gave them the option to choose and they opted to leave it like it is. I am not going to sweat the small stuff."


Parents should worry about far bigger more important things IMHO.

[DaycareMom]

If kids are getting dressed on their own, and I see them doing it wrong, I might just say, "Hey Julie, that's backwards, try turning them around. Tag goes in the back!" I try to just encourage them as they are doing it.