Help With My Own Daughter

[cara041083]

I need help with my DD. She is 18 month old and this is the second day in a row that she is hitting, pushing, pulling, and just not listening at all. She is picking on the smaller DCK's all day long. Im not one of those providers that babies my own children, but the DCK always listen to me better then my own do. how can I stop this behavior before it gets worse. The only think I can think of is to put her in a play pin. Is there anything else? I tell her no and such and she just looks at me. I really can't take much more.

[JoseyJo]

I need help with my DD. She is 18 month old and this is the second day in a row that she is hitting, pushing, pulling, and just not listing at all. She is picking on the smaller DCK's all day long. Im not one of those providers that babies my own children, but the DCK always listen to me better then my own do. how can I stop this behavior before it gets worse. The only think I can think of is to put her in a play pin. Is there anything else? I tell her no and such and she just looks at me. I really can't take much more.

I would do the same I would do for a dck- have her shadow you. She is not allowed away from your side until she can be trusted not to hit, push, pull, etc.

[preschoolteacher]

When my 17 month old has two days or so in a row of really crazy behavior, he almost always spikes a fever the third day. Just an observation I've had! And the child has been sick so often this winter, I've seen this trend repeat several times.

[cheerfuldom]

It is normal, although unacceptable behavior. Like the PP said, sometimes kids act out due to illness or big changes in life (transitioning to a big kid bed or something like that) or jealousy if you have added new, especially younger kids.

Keep your reprimands short and immediate to the action. You also dont have to wait till something happens. Like another poster said, keep her close so you can keep an eye on her and step in right before or as things happen. Get to know her triggers and use preventative measures. If the fights include certain toys, certain time of the day, certain other kids, you can be aware of that and plan accordingly.

I personally am not at all opposed to using a firm No! with an 18 month old as well as directing them to some other activity. That doesnt mean entertaining them all day to keep them from hitting. It means saying "No hitting! We use safe hands" and then steer her towards an activity "go play blocks" and then walk away. No extra attention for bad behavior. Of course check on the victim as well! When you have calm and quiet moments, role play with safe and gentle hands. Practicing gently playing with a baby doll or stuffed animal is a great idea. Letting her stroke your check so she can begin to understand what gentle means. I personally use the phrase "safe hands" because that is what they use in my daughters special needs preschool and it relates to all behavior with the hands, not just hitting versus gentle touch. We use safe hands if my kids are touching things they shouldnt and that sort of thing.

I will say that I do not use timeouts and do not separate from the group unless I am not presently capable to supervise. Such as if I have to prepare lunch and you cannot trust her to play minimally supervised, I would put her at the table with an activity and use that as a preventative measure versus a punishment.

If you separate, do not use their sleeping space as punishment! great way to start up major sleep regression and crying.

[blandino]

What I have found works for children whose are resistant to other methods, especially around your DD's age. Is when they are hitting, etc, pick them up and move them as far away (within the same room) from the group as possible. For the ones who like negative attention, I do it without words. I think it sends a clear, easy to understand message, that we don't get to play with everyone else if we can't follow the rules.