Little Bully Playing The Victim

[Great Beginnings]

I am so angry with this dcg. She is 10 years old and just not a very nice child in general. She thinks she's an adult and refuses to play with children her own age and will only play with the babies because I think she can boss them around. Someone will try to play with her and ask what she's doing and her response will be "Well if I thought it was your business I would have included you". Just hate that kind of snotty attitude from anyone let alone a child.

Anyway, yesterday she was drawing by herself all morning. She left her drawing on the table and walked away. Another child was looking at her drawing and realized his name and a couple other daycare kids names were written. She had drawn pics of each child, wrote their names next to a stick figure and wrote things like looser, lame, jerk etc. The boy showed it to me and she flipped out about her personal space being invaded. I told her it was unacceptable and we will not talk to or treat anyone like that in my home ever and I would be calling her mother.

So they go to school and I get busy and don't call mom until later in the day. Well big mistake because she gets off the bus and home in the afternoon. This child gets off the bus at her house crying to her mom about how she has been bullied for weeks by these kids! What! No. Not to take sides but 2 of these kids are close to perfect and would never be nasty! I asked mom when this bullying suposedly takes place because they are never unsupervised and obviously I would not tolerate that. The girl couldn't give examples of times at my house but conveniently said once they get on the bus they call her names and the drawing was a picture showing the names they call her. Seriously at 10 you are going to come up with a lie like this just to avoid trouble! So I didn't take sides and told the mom I would talk to the kids and parents. All the kids said they sit no where near her on the bus and the girl refuses to even talk let alone sit with them on the bus. I called the bus garage and spoke to the bus driver. The girl sits in the very back by herself and doesn't socialize. So I nicely tell the parents this and the father responds by telling me it's bull****, all 3 kids obviously came up with a cover story and the bus driver is useless and doesn't pay attention so she wouldn't know!

I ended up just saying if it's a bus issue there is nothing I can do and you'll have to take it up with the school and then warned all the other parents what happened in case they got called into the principals office Now I want to term because I worry what lies will she be telling about me when she doesn't get her own way about something??

[sharlan]

I would term this child ASAP. I've dealt with a liar before and I won't even consider taking on another one.

[daycarediva]

Term. If the parents refuse to believe you, it would be game over for me.


I dislike SA immensely.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with Sharlan.

Term now. This kid is more of a liability than income.

[Great Beginnings]

I forgot to mention. Maybe this is normal, I have never seen it in the 8 years I've done daycare but when no one is around or only a few children, this girl will walk around the playroom talking to herself and pretending she's a mom and she's telling her kids what to do. Or she'll talk to imaginary people about her day. Not sure if that's normal for a 10 year old but it also occurred to me she could need psychiatric help. I almost wonder if these voices say those things to her and she just thinks it's the kids because she doesn't understand it?

Maybe I just watch too many lifetime movies ::

[Blackcat31]

I forgot to mention. Maybe this is normal, I have never seen it in the 8 years I've done daycare but when no one is around or only a few children, this girl will walk around the playroom talking to herself and pretending she's a mom and she's telling her kids what to do. Or she'll talk to imaginary people about her day. Not sure if that's normal for a 10 year old but it also occurred to me she could need psychiatric help. I almost wonder if these voices say those things to her and she just thinks it's the kids because she doesn't understand it?

Maybe I just watch too many lifetime movies ::

Sounds like this child has been taught that the world somehow revolves around her and that no one, especially other children, are on the same level as she is.

That would explain the snotty attitude and snappy backtalk. As well as the inability to socialize and play with her peers.

[countrymom]

first I went

but I do agree with the others. If you can term, nows the time. At 10, if she is lying and calling the others name who knows what she is capable of.

is she an only child. to me it sounds like it also comes down to a parenting issue. I can always tell when a child is talking and when a parent is coming out of a childs mouth. And it sounds like the parents talk to her in a not so nice way.

[coolconfidentme]

I recently termed a SA DCB for similar reason, only he claimed I was the one bullying him. He would get off the bus & say how much he hated my dog, my DC & me. (I was afraid for my dog, so I started leaving him at home.) He threaten to leave & go home & I would tell the DCM's BF at pick up what he did or said that day. DCB doesn't come back for a few days telling his mom he is uncomfortable with me because I was bossy & bullying him. This child already rides an alternative bus for behavior issues. I washed my hand of the whole family & their drama.

[Play Care]

I had a similar situation with a SA dcg a few years ago - the kicker was she was also our neighbor and my own dd's friend She was telling her parents that I was mean, didn't treat her well, etc. Meanwhile she refused to participate, would put my kids up to asking for things I couldn't allow, etc.
When you have a child like that in your program it's never going to end well.
Term.

[Great Beginnings]

first I went

but I do agree with the others. If you can term, nows the time. At 10, if she is lying and calling the others name who knows what she is capable of.

is she an only child. to me it sounds like it also comes down to a parenting issue. I can always tell when a child is talking and when a parent is coming out of a childs mouth. And it sounds like the parents talk to her in a not so nice way.

I originally thought this as well which is why I tried to curve the attitude and be patient. Lying and bullying though is crossing the line. She might as well be an only child. She has a older brother who is 18 or 19. She is the result of a second marriage and thinking they were too old to conceive. Ooops. The mom tells people this, so kind of assuming she knows

[JoseyJo]

I forgot to mention. Maybe this is normal, I have never seen it in the 8 years I've done daycare but when no one is around or only a few children, this girl will walk around the playroom talking to herself and pretending she's a mom and she's telling her kids what to do. Or she'll talk to imaginary people about her day. Not sure if that's normal for a 10 year old but it also occurred to me she could need psychiatric help. I almost wonder if these voices say those things to her and she just thinks it's the kids because she doesn't understand it?

Maybe I just watch too many lifetime movies ::

Not sure if it's normal but I have a 5 yo who does the same thing. He is from a 2 parent home and is the only child and grandchild on both sides. Very very spoiled, everything is someone else's fault. His parents have taught him from birth that he is the most important person in the whole world- and if the world doesn't know it they will just take care of that!