ARG! DCPS Are So Inconsiderate Of Our Own Children!

[Soccermom]

I am so fed up with DCPS being completely heartless and thoughtless when it comes to my own children!

Last week DS had to miss his last day of pre-k treasure hunt and party because my assistant called in sick.

DCG was in the same class and when DCM came to drop her off (an hour late because they went on a lunch date...) all the DCM did was brag about how great it was and how much fun my DS WOULD of had. Seriously??!! She said it RIGHT in front of him too! It made things 10 times worse! It was bad enough we had no choice but to miss it since I had to care for all my other DCKS, HER OWN 2 year old son included!!

Then today same DCM shows up to pick up DCG at the same time as another DCD. She says to DCD - Would *Sarah* like to come with us tomorrow to see *kids favorite singer* at the library? He is giving a free concert. DCD says sure so DCM tells DCG to go downstairs and invite *Sarah* to go with them.
Well my own DS was playing with *Sarah* when DCG ran down. (They are all 4 and are all great friends). Of course *Sarah* says YAY, I want to go!!! and runs upstairs to DCD.

They leave and my poor DS is left heartbroken about why they didn't ask him to go too since he loves this singer.

ARG!! How can you do that to a 4 year old boy!!? I know he is my own DS but he is as sweet as can be with these girls and is so good to everyone during daycare hours. It breaks my heart.

Then DCM calls me tonight and says - The show is at 11am so I won't be able to drop off DCGS until about 12h30 for lunch, is that okay?
I said No. We eat at 12h. You will have to feed them before you drop them off.

I should of just told her to keep them for the day. All they are going to do is brag about how great the show was and how much fun they had. My DS shouldn't have to listen to that all afternoon.

I cannot wait for Christmas break!!

[e.j.]

I don't usually get into passive-aggressive behavior with my dc families but if it were me, I'd be very tempted to close the day care tomorrow so I could bring my son to hear the singer perform! :hug:

[saved4always]

I know I am an over protective mama bear, but that treatment would be grounds to term for me. My thing with doing daycare in my home was that it could not adversely affect my own children. That mom would be adversely affecting my child's feelings so she would be gone. It is ridiculous that an adult would repeatedly be so uncaring of a child's feelings.

[Shell]

I know I am an over protective mama bear, but that treatment would be grounds to term for me. My thing with doing daycare in my home was that it could not adversely affect my own children. That mom would be adversely affecting my child's feelings so she would be gone. It is ridiculous that an adult would repeatedly be so uncaring of a child's feelings.

[cheerfuldom]

I think you are being over emotional and the mama bear is coming out. I understand why you would feel this way but I still think it is a bit too much.

First off, it is not the DCMs fault that your assistant called in. It is your job to watch the kids and if the assistant cant come, you will just have to miss stuff. Its just a part of your job and yes, frustrating for you son but again, it is the sacrifice you have to make with this job. If the DCMs comments were annoying you, you should have said something right then "Joyce, I would rather not talk about that right now. Aiden did not get to go today and I dont want this conversation to upset him. Thank you for understanding"

Secondly, I would not let a DCM take my kids anywhere and would be glad that my child was not invited so it would not put me in an awkward place by saying no. I see it as a conflict of interest. If DCMs do something for me or my kids, they often will except friendship and favors to develop and it really should be a professional relationship first. Secondly, it seems perfectly reasonable to me for two parents to get together outside of daycare with their kids. My kids aren't invited to everything and I take that as an opportunity to teach them to have the proper emotions about ....be happy that someone else got a chance to do something fun and learn how to handle disappointment. If the invitations really bother you, than again, speak up! "Joyce, if you would like to arrange play dates, I need you to get a phone number from the other parent and arrange that privately. I dont want other kids who are not invited upset. Thank you for understanding that and following that rule in the future" I would say the same thing to all the parents so they all know the expectations.

This whole scenario would not have phased me at all nor would I ever term over it.

[Josiegirl]

As much as I don't want to(I'd be major mamabear too) I have to agree with cheerfuldom. If you don't speak up dcm will have no clue. Some people just don't get it, ya know?
Then I would do something extra extra special with my own child. I know your ds is still little but one of the lessons they have to learn is that life isn't always fair.
I remember when one of my dds was in 1st grade. She used to play with this little girl in school a lot. But when it came time for this girl to have a birthday party, my dd was left out. Well, like a mamabear I went to the teacher and politely told her I thought birthday invitations should be done outside of class time. My dd did get invited.
Believe me, I feel for your son and as his mom, for you too. (HUGS)

[preschoolteacher]

Preschools and elementary schools often have a rule that you can't give out party invitations at school unless every child is invited. Rules like that were made for the exact same situations you described.

I would talk to the parents. They are being insensitive, and they need to know it.

You could even make a new policy like a Party and Play Date Policy that says something like... "Many children have developed close friendships with other children at daycare. I'm happy to see the kids getting along so well and enjoying time together outside of daycare. If would like to invite another daycare family on a play date or to a party, please do so outside of the daycare. It can be hurtful for the children who were not invited to hear about the fun event and feel left out. I appreciate your sensitivity in this matter!"

[Unregistered]

Preschools and elementary schools often have a rule that you can't give out party invitations at school unless every child is invited. Rules like that were made for the exact same situations you described.

I would talk to the parents. They are being insensitive, and they need to know it.

You could even make a new policy like a Party and Play Date Policy that says something like... "Many children have developed close friendships with other children at daycare. I'm happy to see the kids getting along so well and enjoying time together outside of daycare. If would like to invite another daycare family on a play date or to a party, please do so outside of the daycare. It can be hurtful for the children who were not invited to hear about the fun event and feel left out. I appreciate your sensitivity in this matter!"

That is a great idea!

[Play Care]

I think you are being over emotional and the mama bear is coming out. I understand why you would feel this way but I still think it is a bit too much.

First off, it is not the DCMs fault that your assistant called in. It is your job to watch the kids and if the assistant cant come, you will just have to miss stuff. Its just a part of your job and yes, frustrating for you son but again, it is the sacrifice you have to make with this job. If the DCMs comments were annoying you, you should have said something right then "Joyce, I would rather not talk about that right now. Aiden did not get to go today and I dont want this conversation to upset him. Thank you for understanding"

Secondly, I would not let a DCM take my kids anywhere and would be glad that my child was not invited so it would not put me in an awkward place by saying no. I see it as a conflict of interest. If DCMs do something for me or my kids, they often will except friendship and favors to develop and it really should be a professional relationship first. Secondly, it seems perfectly reasonable to me for two parents to get together outside of daycare with their kids. My kids aren't invited to everything and I take that as an opportunity to teach them to have the proper emotions about ....be happy that someone else got a chance to do something fun and learn how to handle disappointment. If the invitations really bother you, than again, speak up! "Joyce, if you would like to arrange play dates, I need you to get a phone number from the other parent and arrange that privately. I dont want other kids who are not invited upset. Thank you for understanding that and following that rule in the future" I would say the same thing to all the parents so they all know the expectations.

This whole scenario would not have phased me at all nor would I ever term over it.

I agree. To be honest I would probably put my assistant on notice - when I have an important event that I can NOT miss I stress that to mine. Often she's made arrangements for her husband to stay home with a sick child so doesn't miss work. And I have closed dc on days when I really didn't want to chance missing something. Day care families come and go, and our kids are only young once.

[DaycareMom]

I totally understand your MamaBear coming out!
I feel on the fence about this all the time. I don't want any of my DCPs watching my children and I don't wish to spend time with them outside of dc hours (I am with them all day/week!), but sometimes the other kids get together with eachother outside of daycare.
They usually will invite me, but like I said, I don't want to go and I don't trust any of them to take my children. It ends up just being annoying being asked all the time and trying to make up excuses .
With that being said, if you trust DCM and her child goes to same preschool, why didn't you ask if she could bring your son?
It is very rude for her to talk about that stuff in front of your son.
I think you need to say something and maybe send out a something about not making plans during daycare.

[Blackcat31]

I'd close for the day and bring my own DS to see the singer myself. After all the DCF seems to have plenty of leeway in how much time she takes off work.

I also do NOT agree with the rule that schools have about the invitations. I know it was put into place so kids didn't get their feelings hurt but I disagree that not allowing kids to bring invites is not the way to handle or deal with that.

Another example of changing the environment so someone doesn't feel bad.

It simply cannot be rainbows and butterflies everyday all the time in every situation.

People ARE going to get their feelings hurt in life. It build resilience, character and teaches coping skills. ALL things people now days need MORE of.

[cheerfuldom]

I'd close for the day and bring my own DS to see the singer myself. After all the DCF seems to have plenty of leeway in how much time she takes off work.

I also do NOT agree with the rule that schools have about the invitations. I know it was put into place so kids didn't get their feelings hurt but I disagree that not allowing kids to bring invites is not the way to handle or deal with that.

Another example of changing the environment so someone doesn't feel bad.

It simply cannot be rainbows and butterflies everyday all the time in every situation.

People ARE going to get their feelings hurt in life. It build resilience, character and teaches coping skills. ALL things people now days need MORE of.

I only agree with the rule because it is a help to the TEACHER for parents not to put him/her in the spot to comfort upset kids and deal with classroom drama over the invites. I would support this rule just for the sake of the teacher having less issues in class.

[Blackcat31]

I only agree with the rule because it is a help to the TEACHER for parents not to put him/her in the spot to comfort upset kids and deal with classroom drama over the invites. I would support this rule just for the sake of the teacher having less issues in class.

This is true. True and sad.

If parents spent less time trying to shield their children from sadness and disappointment and instead used those situations to teach their child about coping and not always getting picked etc, the schools wouldn't have to have a rule like this to help the teachers.

[Soccermom]

Op

I agree with everyone

Of course the Mamabear comes out LOL He is my DS and a good part of the reason that I even do DC is so I can be home to experience his childhood.
I love him to pieces and in my eyes he is perfection lovethis All of us Moms feel the same way about our own angels.

I know he needs to experience disappointment in life and will not always be invited to things. That is a life lesson we all need to learn at a young age. It just really ****s when it is happening right under your nose in your own home.

Home is supposed to be the place where you feel safe and sheltered from the cruel reality of the world. I don't love that the cruel reality of the world is walking through our front door and finding him in the one place I have tried to make so comforting and full of love for my children.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with everyone

Of course the Mamabear comes out LOL He is my DS and a good part of the reason that I even do DC is so I can be home to experience his childhood.
I love him to pieces and in my eyes he is perfection lovethis All of us Moms feel the same way about our own angels.

I know he needs to experience disappointment in life and will not always be invited to things. That is a life lesson we all need to learn at a young age. It just really ****s when it is happening right under your nose in your own home.

Home is supposed to be the place where you feel safe and sheltered from the cruel reality of the world. I don't love that the cruel reality of the world is walking through our front door and finding him in the one place I have tried to make so comforting and full of love for my children.

This is why I suggested you close that day and spend it with your DS. He does need to experience disappointment but not in his own home.

That mom was very insensitive. If you devote a day to your child and she isn't able to use your services because of it, then maybe just maybe she may have a learning experience of her own.