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So I also watch my son's friend and have known the mom for a few years and we get along great. I haven't had many behavior issues with him here, but more than anything it's my son following his behavior or whatever. Since I have 3 toddlers as well who nap during school dismissal I've allowed my 3 boys and this other boy walk home. It's about 10 mins to walk there, about 3 blocks away. I can hear the dismissal bell from my house so it's really not far at all. Well I got a call from a friend who also does DC that the crossing guard wanted her to let me know the other boy and my son haven't been following her rules and she's afraid they'll be hit by a car if they continue this behavior. So I have 2 options, allow them to keep walking home and have a serious talk about it, or figure out an alternate nap schedule and walk (drive on rainy days) down to get them every day. It's just the rest of this week and next before we have break and then starting up again in Jan. I texted both mom & dad letting them know what happened and that obviously his safety and well being is most important but also this puts the liability on me and I could be cited or lose my license if he did get hit. I think one just texted back. What would you do? I really hate the idea of giving the kids nap time up (which has been a saving grace getting them all down at once) because 1 kid is causing problems. I would hate to term him because a) he's my son's best friend and 2) I don't have very many kids right now and would really effect us financially between his tuition and food program.
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How old are the boys?
I would almost treat it the same way as another other situation in which you don't obey/follow the rules.
You can't listen/behave then you don't get the privilege of walking.
If they don't walk though...you would have to go pick them up? Is there a bus they can ride or another parent that can get them to your house after school? -
As much as I would hate to give up nap time, I would walk down to the school and pick up the boys. The one has already shown he can't be trusted and your son is following along. Not a good situation.
That is the reason that I never let my SA walk to/from school alone. I just didn't want the liability.
I still walk my 11 yo SA straight across two streets to the back gate for the school. I also stand there until the custodian unlocks the back gate. It is a two minute walk if we take our time. He is probably trust-worthy enough but I'm not going risk it. Also, we rarely see any other kids so it would be easy to abduct him without anyone seeing.Comment
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Is there a way you could change nap time?
I prefer a later nap but I occasionally took on school kids from other schools so I had to just it and it worked out ok. Now I feed the kids starting anywhere from 11-11:30AM so that I can take my youngest to preschool at noon and when we get back everyone else goes straight down for a nap. I have one mom who picks up at 2:30pm and my child needs picked up from prek at 3 so the kids get up anywhere from 2:30pm to 3:00pm. The older kids don't get out of school until 3:25 so I can pick them up if I want or need to but honestly, I still have my own SA kids walk probably 90% of the time.
I know my own son isn't mature enough to walk with a daycare friend though. He is too immature and can be convinced to do stupid things in an attempt to get acceptance from the other kids. When I had other kids that went to the same school I took them to and from every day.Comment
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My boys are 11 almost 12, 9 almost 10 & 8 and the DCB is also 9 almost 10. Both parents replied, mom said he would be writing an apology letter tonight and his dad said he's getting him early anyway and will be talking to him about it. I have a feeling that his behavior may be why he isn't going to his old DC provider who is his neighbor still goes to and she's in 6th grade. His parents said he "outgrew" their daycare plus mom stayed home for the last 2yrs after losing her job in the end of 1st grade. She found a new job over the summer and told me right away she wanted him to come here after school and this is really the only big issue we've had. Otherwise he listens when we correct his behavior and he's respectful to me and my dh. My 3 kids are in trouble today so he's going to be solo after school until dad gets him at 3:45.
And no, we live too close to bus and the other neighborhood kids all walk home. My kids haven't been an issue in the past and know the rules of the crosswalk. It's just lightened my load tremendously to allow them to walk to & from school. Really, depending on what day of the week it is, my teen son can get them and I can do the other days it just really messed up my whole daily schedule.Comment
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The only problem with changing nap time is when to fit it in? They get out of school at 2:30 and 2:45 so either I have to put them down earlier than I do now (so like 11:30) or after getting them (so 3pm?) which doesn't seem logical not mention the noise of having 4 extra boys home. Plus Wednesdays they're out at 1:30 so that would throw everything off. I think what I'm going to do is talk to the boys about our schedule and explain why things work the way they do. If I walk to get them than they loose out on playtime and will be forced to do quiet time with the babies after they get home. If they can be respectful and walk home safely than we can have normal nap time and they can come home like normal.
If I have to move nap up we'll just have a short nap every other week on Weds.
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I was going to say, maybe talk to them and give them one more chance, otherwise, do what you said.The only problem with changing nap time is when to fit it in? They get out of school at 2:30 and 2:45 so either I have to put them down earlier than I do now (so like 11:30) or after getting them (so 3pm?) which doesn't seem logical not mention the noise of having 4 extra boys home. Plus Wednesdays they're out at 1:30 so that would throw everything off. I think what I'm going to do is talk to the boys about our schedule and explain why things work the way they do. If I walk to get them than they loose out on playtime and will be forced to do quiet time with the babies after they get home. If they can be respectful and walk home safely than we can have normal nap time and they can come home like normal.
If I have to move nap up we'll just have a short nap every other week on Weds.Comment
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Thank you! I don't want to just throw everything away because of this and screw up my newly found perfect schedule for everyone else. Otherwise I would have to explain that I can't do this and you need to put him in the school's after care program. I would hate to do that because we've become friends and have plans to go to the snow in Feb and we don't really have a lot of (ok any!) friends that are couples with kids our kids' age.
Also- I can't serve lunch before 11. It's 11:30 and the babies are already tired and wanting to lay down so a later nap just won't work. :-(Comment
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That's how it is here, I serve lunch between 11:30 and 12 and the younger one's are tired by then. There is NO way I could have a later nap, especially at 3!
When you talk to them, you could mention that you have someone watching them so you'll know what they are doing. It's not like it's a lie, you really do have the other dc lady!
That might curb them from doing whatever it is that they are doing.
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Great idea. I think I will utilize my teen son who's out every other day at 12. He has block classes and no 6th period so on B days he's out and can get them. He isn't always nice and gets bossy so I stopped sending him but will start tomorrow with him. And my neighbor doesn't do pick up or I would have her cross them, she only does drop off in the AM because she walks a couple miles anyway. We both used to walk to and from every day but both agreed our kids were mature enough to walk but then we added this DCB and he's problematic. My kids walk every morning and both my friend and the crossing guard said they listen and follow the rules so I KNOW it's just when the DCB is with them.That's how it is here, I serve lunch between 11:30 and 12 and the younger one's are tired by then. There is NO way I could have a later nap, especially at 3!
When you talk to them, you could mention that you have someone watching them so you'll know what they are doing. It's not like it's a lie, you really do have the other dc lady! That might curb them from doing whatever it is that they are doing.
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