Should I Explain?

[providerandmomof4]

I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?

[daycare]

I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?

If your son is legally able to care for the children, then I would not be explaining anything to them.

If they asked, I would tell them that you made plans based off of the time DCD gave you, DCD didn't show and you needed to take care of your family. THen I might say, as you know my son is one of my qualifies assistants so I was able to arrange having my son stay with the kids. Leave it at that.

[littlemissmuffet]

Nope, I wouldn't explain.

Dad was supposed to pick up early, you made plans based on the expectation dcd would pick up when he said he would. He didn't, and you had to carry on with your plans. It's on him, not you - and if he dares get upset tell him he should show up when he says he will (I have been told probably 100 times in the last few years that a parent will pick up early and it's only happened like 3 times)...

[butterfly]

If your son is legally able to care for the children, then I would not be explaining anything to them.

If they asked, I would tell them that you made plans based off of the time DCD gave you, DCD didn't show and you needed to take care of your family. THen I might say, as you know my son is one of my qualifies assistants so I was able to arrange having my son stay with the kids. Leave it at that.

[JoseyJo]

I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?

I wouldn't say anything- but if they ask I would say that you based your plans on DCD's planned p/u and dcd was late.

[Josiegirl]

You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.

[providerandmomof4]

You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.

My son is 22. However they were not told that the kids would ever be left with him, and that is the issue. And any time I leave them with my oldest dd (20) I give them a heads up. Yesterday I just had to go or my own youngest children's evening activities wouldn't have been able to happen.

[Josiegirl]

Oops sorry! Must read posts better (smacking myself to wake up some more!)

[coolconfidentme]

My son is 22. However they were not told that the kids would ever be left with him, and that is the issue. And any time I leave them with my oldest dd (20) I give them a heads up. Yesterday I just had to go or my own youngest children's evening activities wouldn't have been able to happen.

If he is listed as an assistant, no worries then. My doctor doesn't tell me when he has a new assistant & you don't have to either.

[Luna]

If DCD doesn't feel the need to explain why he didn't do what he said he was going to do, I sure wouldn't feel the need to explain myself.

[Play Care]

In my state I am required to let my families know when a sub will be covering. So I let them know in the interview that I have a legally cleared sub/assistant and at any time she may be in to run the show, which covers me in case there is an appointment I forget about or an emergency comes up. No parent can say they didn't know my sub might be here I do imagine if you have a similar regulation that you would need to explain. Not sure how you structure your hours, but if I am open from x to x time unless an emergency comes up I make my self available for care. I learned a long time ago not to bank on kids being picked up early...

[Blackcat31]

In my state an assistant and a sub are two very different things.

Someone qualified as an assistant can be present IF the provider is present. The assistant can NEVER be left alone with the children.

A sub can be left with kids when the provider is off the premises. A sub must have certain training hours and certificates to be qualified as a sub.

An assistant doesn't have to have as many hours of trainings and/or certificates.

Honestly, I would mention this to the dad. I would say that I would appreciate if he were more timely about his pick ups and that he put you in a uncomfortable situation that you would appreciate never happens again.

I don't see an issue with leaving the DCK's with your son. I see an issue about the DCD not being prompt, timely or open to communicate these actions.

It doesn't sound like he called to tell you he was running late.

When it became apparent that he was late, I would have called him. I would have used that opportunity to let him know if he was going to be much longer in picking up that you were not going to be there but your son would be.

[e.j.]

As a courtesy, I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. You had said you were going to pick the kids up early and when you didn't, I had to quickly run to pick my husband up at work since my car is in the shop. Although my son is an approved assistant, I felt a little uncomfortable leaving before you got here but had no choice since my husband needed a ride home from work. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you would call if you're going to be later than expected."

Just curious....Could your son have picked up your husband instead or does he not drive?

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

As a courtesy, I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. You had said you were going to pick the kids up early and when you didn't, I had to quickly run to pick my husband up at work since my car is in the shop. Although my son is an approved assistant, I felt a little uncomfortable leaving before you got here but had no choice since my husband needed a ride home from work. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you would call if you're going to be later than expected."

Just curious....Could your son have picked up your husband instead or does he not drive?

This if I hadn't called dad. I would have called prior to leaving. Hey I thought you told me you would be here by now. I have to pick up my dh from work and ds is going to keep the kidos until you get here. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Thanks.

[Annalee]

You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.

To be an assistant and especially if you are left alone with the children you have to be 18 in my state as well. Assistants/sub-care have to have background check along with current CPR/first aid, too.