Im Probably Going Soft. Is It Unreasonable...

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  • Heidi
    Daycare.com Member
    • Sep 2011
    • 7121

    Im Probably Going Soft. Is It Unreasonable...

    To have a 1 year old play in the playroom by herself for about 10/15 minutes at the end of the day?

    She's the last one out, and I usually start dinner. Until recently, she was content to sit in an excersaucer or chair nearby and do puzzles or something. Lately, she gets really crabby about it, so I've been putting her on the other side of the gate. Now she's hysterical. She has a room full of toys, but wants OUT. She's already had snack, so I am not going the crackers route. Besides, when she goes home, they have to either tag-team (dad cooks!) or go the crackers-in-the-highchair route. She'd be so full of crackers she wouldn't eat dinner.

    She cannot be out, because she pulls everything out of cabinets, climbs things, tears things down, etc. She'd climb up the oven like a hamster.

    So, I've been caving and going in there to play with her then getting her coat and shoes on just before arrival (this is pretty new behavior, and I haven't decided whether or not I'm being reasonable, which is where you come in). I really would like her to play independently for 10 minutes or so.

    She'll be a year on Monday, btw.


    Also: I accidently hit post before I was ready, so I went back and rewrote some of this. Sorry if that's confusing to anyone.
  • nannyde
    All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
    • Mar 2010
    • 7320

    #2
    What time of day is it?
    http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

    Comment

    • Heidi
      Daycare.com Member
      • Sep 2011
      • 7121

      #3
      4:55 to 5:15 ISH

      They get up from nap at 3-3:15, then it's diapers, snack, and me sitting on the floor with them until 4:55 or so (with some interruptions, of course). I like to be engaged with them when parents come. 4:25-4:55 But, then I'm kind of ready to move on from the floor time. They are baby toys, after all, not dcp toys.

      Like I said, I used to set her up with something then, but lately she fusses and throws everything. So, the safe play area seemed like a better option.

      Comment

      • providerandmomof4
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2012
        • 354

        #4
        If it were me, I'd probably just wait the 10-15 mins to start dinner until she gets picked up. It would be one thing if she could play in her saucer happily, but if she were hysterical...I'd just wait.

        Comment

        • jenboo
          Daycare.com Member
          • Aug 2013
          • 3180

          #5
          I would leave her in the room. I would be talking to her while i was on the other side of the gate, especially when parents show up to pick up.

          Comment

          • Heidi
            Daycare.com Member
            • Sep 2011
            • 7121

            #6
            Just to explain, the "room" is a playroom and a hallway and part of the kitchen/entry area. I have a super-yard that I basically move around to make as much or little confined space as I need. So, she can come within a foot of me, but not be on my side of the gate. They toys and play room, which she has access to, are about 6 or 7 feet behind her. This is the same area of the house she has access to whenever she is awake, except at mealtimes, when they are buckled in at the table in the dining room.

            On "my side" of the gate is the kitchen (were I stand to cook) the dining room, and the living room.

            Waiting until she leaves is an option. But, I have to admit that I feel a little resentful of that time. I'm basically held captive for 75 cents.

            Before anyone suggests term...she is my favorite dck otherwise. She's a doll 99 percent of the time, and her family is awesome.

            Comment

            • LaLa1923
              mommyof5-and going crazy
              • Oct 2012
              • 1103

              #7
              Originally posted by Heidi
              Just to explain, the "room" is a playroom and a hallway and part of the kitchen/entry area. I have a super-yard that I basically move around to make as much or little confined space as I need. So, she can come within a foot of me, but not be on my side of the gate. They toys and play room, which she has access to, are about 6 or 7 feet behind her. This is the same area of the house she has access to whenever she is awake, except at mealtimes, when they are buckled in at the table in the dining room.

              On "my side" of the gate is the kitchen (were I stand to cook) the dining room, and the living room.

              Waiting until she leaves is an option. But, I have to admit that I feel a little resentful of that time. I'm basically held captive for 75 cents.

              Before anyone suggests term...she is my favorite dck otherwise. She's a doll 99 percent of the time, and her family is awesome.
              I'd just let her play in the room!!

              Comment

              • melilley
                Daycare.com Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 5155

                #8
                Honestly, if she is right there by you, I would leave her there to play. It's the same if you were making lunch, right?

                I have one dcb who is at my at my feet a lot of the time, wanting me to pick him up while I'm doing things. I don't have a gate to separate the kids from coming into the kitchen so I sometimes have to take him away from the kitchen, and into my family room. I have a few toys in there for the younger kids to play with while I'm cooking because I can't see them in the playroom.
                He sometimes cries and comes back, but I keep moving him. There is no reason why he can't play, especially since I'm right there.

                Comment

                • Blackcat31
                  • Oct 2010
                  • 36124

                  #9
                  Why is she hysterical?
                  Is it because she is confined or lacking access to you?

                  I guess I am not understanding what the issue is... Sometimes people cant go where they want and access the person they want. That's life.

                  I think she needs to learn that there will be many times in her life where she will be expected to entertain herself somewhere she doesn't necessarily want to be.

                  Waiting while her mother makes conversation with some else while out/about
                  Standing in line waiting her turn etc... There are thousands of scenarios that require those skills.

                  If I were in your shoes, i would try talking out loud to her while you continue to prepare dinner etc. reassure her you are still there, pop your head around the corner for some quick eye contact every so often and carry on like everything is fine and dandy.

                  After a couple days, she'll figure out that it is.

                  Comment

                  • Heidi
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Sep 2011
                    • 7121

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Blackcat31
                    Why is she hysterical?
                    Is it because she is confined or lacking access to you?

                    I guess I am not understanding what the issue is... Sometimes people cant go where they want and access the person they want. That's life.

                    I think she needs to learn that there will be many times in her life where she will be expected to entertain herself somewhere she doesn't necessarily want to be.

                    Waiting while her mother makes conversation with some else while out/about
                    Standing in line waiting her turn etc... There are thousands of scenarios that require those skills.

                    If I were in your shoes, i would try talking out loud to her while you continue to prepare dinner etc. reassure her you are still there, pop your head around the corner for some quick eye contact every so often and carry on like everything is fine and dandy.

                    After a couple days, she'll figure out that it is.
                    She won't tell me....

                    Thanks...I think I just needed permission...::

                    Comment

                    • nannyde
                      All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 7320

                      #11
                      I have had this a lot with late departing kids. I have one I lay down from 415 to 445 and then up dressed and out the door at 450 to 5

                      Babies are fried by five. They just need a lil rest time before they leave.
                      http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                      Comment

                      • Play Care
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Dec 2012
                        • 6642

                        #12
                        On one hand, I agree with Blackcat. But I really don't want parents coming to pick up seeing their child screaming while I'm making my families dinner In the past when I've had children this age I would buckle them in the high chair with some spoons, toys, etc. so they could "help" while I prepared a meal. I know some regs say no high chair unless eating, but our licensor did say to use the high chair while preparing meals is acceptable (though I don't think she had our own dinner in mind ) plus my own family is home at that time, my kids are trying to do homework and I couldn't have screaming.

                        Comment

                        • spinnymarie
                          mac n peas
                          • May 2013
                          • 890

                          #13
                          I agree with both sides - that I think she should be fine playing on her own and that I wouldn't want her screaming when her parents walked in.
                          Are there any toys that she loves or somethign new and interesting that you could save for those last few minutes for her? A bucket of water and some cups on a big towel (or I have ours in a little blow up pool)?

                          Comment

                          • Great Beginnings
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Oct 2013
                            • 171

                            #14
                            I think I would encourage free play more often. It sounds like she's being coddled and can't entertain herself which can lead to an entire mess of problems in the future.

                            I agree with Blackcat that she needs to learn she wont always have access and get what she wants. It is life.

                            Comment

                            • Cradle2crayons
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Apr 2013
                              • 3642

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Play Care
                              On one hand, I agree with Blackcat. But I really don't want parents coming to pick up seeing their child screaming while I'm making my families dinner In the past when I've had children this age I would buckle them in the high chair with some spoons, toys, etc. so they could "help" while I prepared a meal. I know some regs say no high chair unless eating, but our licensor did say to use the high chair while preparing meals is acceptable (though I don't think she had our own dinner in mind ) plus my own family is home at that time, my kids are trying to do homework and I couldn't have screaming.
                              I think it's just a phase.... Like stranger anxiety.... Or parents leaving anxiety etc. I've noticed with my kiddos that around the 6,12,18 etc month times, they start behavior that is out of character for them but is normal otherwise. Usually they are just testing. It seems she's pitching a fit and getting the desired effect. At 12 months it's perfectly logical.

                              I'd explain to mom what's going on, reassure her it's a phase, and TELL her how I'm going to handle it. Which is exactly how YOU need it to be. Explain she may crie for a minute right at pickup but it wont be fatal for her to cry for a minute.

                              I'd totally do just as I had been doing. She has to learn that it will be as intends to be and she can't always get what she wants RIGHT when she wants it. IMHO this is going to open up more cans of worms because they learn early fit = get what they want.

                              What if every day right before pick up she did x y or z and you told her no and she pitched a fit etc.

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