Children Are So Coddled These Days!

[NeedaVaca]

I find it hilarious that tons of today's kids have dvd players in the car for their 10 minute drive to daycare It's like- you really can't interact with your child for just a few minutes out of the day?!

My kids are 6 and 10 and I still won't get a DVD player for the car! We TALK Sometimes I use the time to quiz them for school too, it's useful quality time if you want it to be!

[Heidi]

Unfortunately yes...I have the same five month old. Can I ask why you don't term? I'm right there as soon as MY backbone beefs up!

Because mom is a close friend, and I was her birth coach, and because I don't trust anyone else with him. He's so intense sometimes, I'd fear someone not so bonded with him would hurt him.

I have coping strategies, and I know when I need to call them in. Phone a friend, put him in the other room safely for a few minutes, etc.

Oh, and I haven't gotten a dc call in months. Any new kids would most likely be a new, newborn who could be just as intense.

What mom is doing isn't wrong. It's just not what happens in group care, and doesn't really fit my philosophy. I promote independence, even in infants. I believe them to be competent, and I know he's capable of it. I see it every Friday.

[TwinKristi]

Yep I'm the meany too! I don't like the "but I don't want to" response I get from 3-4yr olds and the copycat behavior from their younger sibling! I have one boy who at 22mos walks in the door demanding water, crackers, snacks, etc. His first sentance was "I want..." I want water, I want cracker, I want peanut butter... Never a please, thank you... No patience either. Just demand and persist until you get it because that's what works at home. Temper tantrums, demands, sassy talk... Drives me nuts!

[williams2008]

Parents will do WHATEVER it takes so their child doesn't cry.

I believe that is the root of all this kind of behavior.

That and they want their children to like them.

I totally agree with this.

[laceylmm]

Because mom is a close friend, and I was her birth coach, and because I don't trust anyone else with him. He's so intense sometimes, I'd fear someone not so bonded with him would hurt him.

I have coping strategies, and I know when I need to call them in. Phone a friend, put him in the other room safely for a few minutes, etc.

Oh, and I haven't gotten a dc call in months. Any new kids would most likely be a new, newborn who could be just as intense.

What mom is doing isn't wrong. It's just not what happens in group care, and doesn't really fit my philosophy. I promote independence, even in infants. I believe them to be competent, and I know he's capable of it. I see it every Friday.

yup every Friday!

And I agree it's not a bad thing that the parents hold all te time...it just peanut translate well to group care.

My biggest struggle is that I can't be confined to the carpet or rocking chair all day to keep her happy. It's not the necessarily the constant holding that drives me crazy it's that nothing else gets done...oh ya the screaming that too!

[Maria2013]

While I was growing up an adult would respond by saying... "I'll give you something to cry about or I'll give you some more reasons not to like my house" Lol

Now days the so called appropriate response is "So and so. I'm sorry I had to ask you to clean up but That is not nice and hurts my feelings but yay you are using big boy words to express how you feel" ::

I can't stand how we are suppose to talk to kids now days: please use your "inside voice"? "walking feet"? seems way harder to grasp than "no running inside" or no screaming inside ...I wonder who came up with this bs::

[Blackcat31]

I can't stand how we are suppose to talk to kids now days: please use your "inside voice"? "walking feet"? seems way harder to grasp than "no running inside" or no screaming inside ...I wonder who came up with this bs::

positive reinforcement. they don't want them to hear any negative words.

Which is really kind of funny because when you have a child under age 5, the MOST used word is "No!"

Also I have issue with the over explaining they want us (adults) to do now days.

I don't really need to explain to a 3 yr old why I want him to stop throwing stuff....

...."Because I said so."

My mom/dad used that line ALL the time when I was growing up....I don't think I ever considered asking why or requiring a reason.

[nannyde]

Yep, children are coddled, but I think dcp want it that way....dcp want to be coddled too and I don't see that getting any better in the future....the "me" generation is taking over.....I can see major changes in clients now compared to when I first started FCC twenty plus years ago.

Me too! Huge difference.

[nannyde]

Parents will do WHATEVER it takes so their child doesn't cry.

I believe that is the root of all this kind of behavior.

That and they want their children to like them.

I don't see the child liking the parent thing. I'm always curious when I hear this. What do babies, toddlers... pre talking kids do that the parent believes is an affirmation that their child likes them?

[Maria2013]

positive reinforcement. they don't want them to hear any negative words.

Which is really kind of funny because when you have a child under age 5, the MOST used word is "No!"

you're right ::

[TwinKristi]

I can't stand how we are suppose to talk to kids now days: please use your "inside voice"? "walking feet"? seems way harder to grasp than "no running inside" or no screaming inside ...I wonder who came up with this bs::

We had to do this at my old job at the gym childcare. We had to try everything else besides no! Please use your walking feet, gentle hands, nice words, etc etc! Ick! I try to do it with the kids learning to talk so I don't have to say NO 100x a day only to have them learn NO right back! LOL my youngest DS learned no and mine from the other DCB who learned it from his 3yr old sister. He didn't need to ever say it here and when we did say no it was for a good reason and he knew that. Now it's just a word they all yell at each other! Ugh!

[Annalee]

positive reinforcement. they don't want them to hear any negative words.

Which is really kind of funny because when you have a child under age 5, the MOST used word is "No!"

Also I have issue with the over explaining they want us (adults) to do now days.

I don't really need to explain to a 3 yr old why I want him to stop throwing stuff....

...."Because I said so."

My mom/dad used that line ALL the time when I was growing up....I don't think I ever considered asking why or requiring a reason.

I was raised the same way, however FCC has taught through the "new" standards of early childhood that we MUST use words ourselves and teach the children to use words back. I feel we are teaching children that they can reason their way out of anything. In turn, NO ONE is accountable anymore. It is always someone else's fault. Where in my days of growing up, children were considered respectful when following their parents (or any other adult) requests/demands. And we are still connected with our families today...I wonder what will happen to this generation of youngsters that are allowed to "run the system"...

[melilley]

In every chdv class that I took, we had to talk to the kids like that. I get it to a point, but sometimes it's just too much and the kids don't pay attention after you go on and on...

You also aren't supposed to tell them how they are feeling, that you like the bear that they drew, instead, you see that they used the color brown, aren't supposed to say "good job" etc....

[Angelsj]

I have a 4 yo that says she can not dress herself. She slept through nap without pants one day because I wouldn't help her until she tried herself. I had seen her do it before so I knew she was just being lazy!

Yep, I feel your pain. I have a 4.5 yo girl that is dressed by her parents BEFORE getting her out of bed...sigh. She can do it; she just puts up so much fuss for them that they don't bother. Sad.

[melilley]

When I worked at a center, we were going through the process of getting NECPA accredited. We were not allowed to have the kids say please and thank you when they were eating. Their reasoning was that you did family style dining and that's not what families do (something along those lines)?! I thought it was so odd.