Is This Fair? How Would You Handle

[daycare]

I have a DCK that has been with me for about 1.5 years. He is a very very sweet boy. VERY PT and this has always been a small issue. DCK comes 2 days a week M&T. The other days DCK is taken care of by GP. Of course DCK wears the pants with them, does not nap, no schedule and etc.

Eating here has been a major issue the last 3 months. I forget how bad it is being that the child comes only 2 days a week. I am on the food program and of course most of you know how that goes.

Well yesterday I had yet another hour long talk with DCM about the issue. She swears up and down that this does not happen at home. BUT the kid is only given bean burritos, PBJ and cheese. THAT is it. I asked why and she said because otherwise it's an on going battle. I don't serve PBJ, but I do the others and he won't eat them here, because they are organic.

I told DCM yesterday that if she wants to continue care here that she needs to start working with me on this more. The DCM said we do, we prep him every day before coming and we tell him to use his words instead of the blood curdling scream that he does once he sees the food.

Well again today, melt down mabo in full affect. I am thinking that I am going to tell DCP that from now on they need to supply his food all day and that I will be adding a $5.00 a day individual service fee food charge for having to prepare a separate meal. (terming is not a option right now)

Do you feel that this is fair? The other kids and I can't take his behavior at meal times anymore??

How would you deal with this>???

[butterfly]

sounds like a good option to me.

[TwinKristi]

I don't think it's unreasonable. But IF she decides to bring her own and you STILL supply snacks or he eats it all and wants more then there should be a fee as well. I get $0.71 or something for snacks from the FP so maybe charge her $1.50/day for snacks only or something? I just know when parents have provided their own I always end up adding something to it through the day. Rarely does it cover the whole day!

[Blackcat31]

If you do decide to ask DCM to provide the child's own food, make sure you do it on a trial basis. I can see so many issues come up because of this.

Honestly from what you've posted (before and now) about this child, I don't think it is simply just the food issue. It seems as though, he just isn't the one wearing the pants at your house and that's upsetting to him.

I don't know but if healthy food/eating is part of your curriculum, it just feels wrong to just give into this kids wants and simply let him eat what he wants.

I know he screams and all but if you do give in, then you are also reinforcing that screaming for hat he wants tactic because by having mom supply food, he is getting exactly what he wants.

[Cradle2crayons]

If you do decide to ask DCM to provide the child's own food, make sure you do it on a trial basis. I can see so many issues come up because of this.

Honestly from what you've posted (before and now) about this child, I don't think it is simply just the food issue. It seems as though, he just isn't the one wearing the pants at your house and that's upsetting to him.

I don't know but if healthy food/eating is part of your curriculum, it just feels wrong to just give into this kids wants and simply let him eat what he wants.

I know he screams and all but if you do give in, then you are also reinforcing that screaming for hat he wants tactic because by having mom supply food, he is getting exactly what he wants.

And what if he other kids start screaming because they want what he has??? Argggggggggggggggg

[daycare]

If you do decide to ask DCM to provide the child's own food, make sure you do it on a trial basis. I can see so many issues come up because of this.

Honestly from what you've posted (before and now) about this child, I don't think it is simply just the food issue. It seems as though, he just isn't the one wearing the pants at your house and that's upsetting to him.

I don't know but if healthy food/eating is part of your curriculum, it just feels wrong to just give into this kids wants and simply let him eat what he wants.

I know he screams and all but if you do give in, then you are also reinforcing that screaming for hat he wants tactic because by having mom supply food, he is getting exactly what he wants.

I agree with you 100% that he is doing it because he is not wearing the pants here and is not getting his way. I don't want it to resort to this, but I can't allow for his behavior to continue. It has become so disruptive to the group it's beyond where it should be.

If this does happen, I will make the child eat at a separate eating table. I am not doing this to punish the kid, but because I don't want it to create other issues.

[daycare]

And what if he other kids start screaming because they want what he has??? Argggggggggggggggg

Well my thought is that I will tell the parents that if they don't want to help introduce other foods to the kid, then he will have to eat away from the group so that this does not become an issue...

I will let the kid know that if he wants to join his friends then he can eat OUR food, otherwise it's the other table out of the eating area

[Blackcat31]

I agree with you 100% that he is doing it because he is not wearing the pants here and is not getting his way. I don't want it to resort to this, but I can't allow for his behavior to continue. It has become so disruptive to the group it's beyond where it should be.

If this does happen, I will make the child eat at a separate eating table. I am not doing this to punish the kid, but because I don't want it to create other issues.

Oh, I didn't think you were trying to punish him and I totally understand the not wanting to continue dealing with this behavior....I just wanted to make sure you let DCM know that if this (your plan) doesn't work or is worse than the situation is now, then something else will need to be done.

I wouldn't want to hear/listen to a screaming preschooler either while I eat.

I feel for your other kids.

[daycare]

I am not wanting to punish the child at all. If he wants to eat with us he can, he just need to eat our food.

You and I both know that if I allow this kid to come eat PBJ at the same table with others what is going to happen.

I am at such a loss with this issue. I was very honest with the parents and I did tell them that I did feel it was more of a control thing and that the child is not used to being controlled, but the one in control and just hates it.

I don't know what else to do..

I am open if anyone has any more ideas.....

[Unregistered]

I asked a new mom last week to start bringing food for her son because looked at my food and said i dont want it he went two days in a row without eating lunch . There has been times where he wants our food and times they wanted his. I am blessed with some older kids and tjose are usually tge only ones to notice the food diffrences in food at snack time.

With this dcb he is also running the show at home so we are struggling to get him to even eat his lunches from home or eat it at lunchtime.
Good luck

[Laurel]

You could do your parent bringing the food plan and have him eat separately but it might work to also have him eat a little earlier than the other children...maybe while you are preparing food for the others or something?

During lunch, he could either sit with the others if he behaves or sit off to the side and read a book. He has to stay in his chair though. That way he isn't getting to play with fun toys while others can't and he won't make a fuss so the rest can eat in peace. If he is at the table or can see it he may also decide to try something....some day, .

Laurel

[daycare]

You could do your parent bringing the food plan and have him eat separately but it might work to also have him eat a little earlier than the other children...maybe while you are preparing food for the others or something?

During lunch, he could either sit with the others if he behaves or sit off to the side and read a book. He has to stay in his chair though. That way he isn't getting to play with fun toys while others can't and he won't make a fuss so the rest can eat in peace. If he is at the table or can see it he may also decide to try something....some day, .

Laurel

I did think of this as well.......BUT I did not think to make him join them after he is done eating. I think that this is what I will do and I will allow for the parents to provide the food, charge the fee and be done with this.

Thanks so much for posting this idea. I love it and I think that it just might work. I'll let you know how it turns out.....

[Laurel]

I did think of this as well.......BUT I did not think to make him join them after he is done eating. I think that this is what I will do and I will allow for the parents to provide the food, charge the fee and be done with this.

Thanks so much for posting this idea. I love it and I think that it just might work. I'll let you know how it turns out.....

Yes, I would like to know.