"Kids Are Better For Other People"...

[newtodaycare22]

This one parent, who usually I love, always makes comments about how kids are better behaved for other adults (Than they are with their parents). I do not have kids of my own, but you better believe that I set firm expectations with my dck and they are all (generally) very well behaved for me. I mean what I say, and they know it.

Today, I told the mom a story about our library trip where a lady commented to me, "Your children are so well behaved." I told her how I smiled and said thanks but they are just my daycare kids Mom's immediate response was "Yeah, that's why they are so good...they aren't yours".

Geez that really irked me. I know kids are sometimes better behaved with new adults, for special occasions and stuff. But, quite honestly, I am with these kids 7-5 and I see them more than their mom! It bothers me that she gave me no credit whatsoever for teaching the kids how to act.

[SilverSabre25]

Actually, not to rain on your parade, but it is usually true that kids are better behaved for people not their parents. I find it all the time with my DD and see it in person with my nieces and nephews, not to mention the DCKs. I set firm expectations and DD is generally pretty good for me, but she is WAY better for everyone else. I know how my sisters parents (and it's much like I do) and yet their kids are WAY better for me. DCKs will be excellent for me all day long and then throw big fits when their parents get here and parents are continually amazed at my reports of how the day went.

It's partly us teaching them how to behave...but moreso that kids really do behave better for other people, no matter how long they're with those people. Parents set clear expectations too, but kids are still worse for them.

[Live and Learn]

Silver Saber is right ...but good for you for keeping your kiddos well behaved at the library. It drives me bats when children and running around yelling at the library. I always want to shh them!

[Jewels]

Its true my son, hes a great boy, but he is a perfect angel for everyone else, Me I get all the attitude!! My daycare kids are very different around me than their parents, And I have very strict great parents, but the kids act up alot more around them, My son is my hardest daycare child, he gives me the hardest time, all my other kids listen to me so much more. So it is a very true statement that they behave better for other people. The thing is, is they trust and love their parents more than anyone in the world, they also get the maddest and most frustrated at their own parents.

[newtodaycare22]

I just feel frustrated that I am given NO credit for helping them behave correctly. To me, that kind of statement means that they would be angels no matter what, because I'm not their parents. I feel like I deserve some credit

[Lucy]

This one parent, who usually I love, always makes comments about how kids are better behaved for other adults (Than they are with their parents). I do not have kids of my own, but you better believe that I set firm expectations with my dck and they are all (generally) very well behaved for me. I mean what I say, and they know it.

Today, I told the mom a story about our library trip where a lady commented to me, "Your children are so well behaved." I told her how I smiled and said thanks but they are just my daycare kids Mom's immediate response was "Yeah, that's why they are so good...they aren't yours".

Geez that really irked me. I know kids are sometimes better behaved with new adults, for special occasions and stuff. But, quite honestly, I am with these kids 7-5 and I see them more than their mom! It bothers me that she gave me no credit whatsoever for teaching the kids how to act.

Well, I would have taken it just fine from the mom at the library. In fact, I totally agree with her, and get told that all the time when I have my dck out.

Like you, I don't have my own either, and my dck are VERY well-behaved for me. MUCH better than with their parents. I've had one for 10+ years, one for 6, one for 4, etc. I often have people tell me the same thing when we go somewhere. Sometimes I just smile and say thanks because we're in a hurry, but even if I say they're dck and someone says "no wonder" like they did to you, I would agree and tell them, "Yes that's so true, isn't it?" The compliment would still feel just as good. But that's just me.

[QualiTcare]

yup, it's true - kids are more comfortable with their parents. even my husband is more behaved in public than he is at home.

when i was a pre-teen/teenager, my friend's parents loved having me around and would tell my mom how well behaved i was, etc. my mom would always make some kind of comment like, "i wish she'd be that way at home," and i just thought "whAtEEEVER!"

now i have my own kids, and it's true. don't take it personally.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Agreeing with the others...my own kids are great for other adults but will push my buttons no matter how many times I discipline them.

My daycare kids are generally good for me, if they are not they listen the first time I speak, but when their moms come, I can tell the difference.

It seems to be just a fact, even if you have them most the day, they still are better behaved for us providers than their own parents.

[kidkair]

This one parent, who usually I love, always makes comments about how kids are better behaved for other adults (Than they are with their parents). I do not have kids of my own, but you better believe that I set firm expectations with my dck and they are all (generally) very well behaved for me. I mean what I say, and they know it.

Today, I told the mom a story about our library trip where a lady commented to me, "Your children are so well behaved." I told her how I smiled and said thanks but they are just my daycare kids Mom's immediate response was "Yeah, that's why they are so good...they aren't yours".

Geez that really irked me. I know kids are sometimes better behaved with new adults, for special occasions and stuff. But, quite honestly, I am with these kids 7-5 and I see them more than their mom! It bothers me that she gave me no credit whatsoever for teaching the kids how to act.

Good for you teaching those kids how to act! The mom might not recognize how much effort you put into teaching them interaction skills because it doesn't show at home but all the teachers and other adults that those children come across will benefit and like the librarian really take notice. Take a deep breath and know that you are doing great with those kids.

[kendallina]

It's absolutely true that kids behave better for people other than their parents. They are so much more comfortable with their parents and can melt down, test limits, etc without fear of what might happen. Also, when kids are in daycare it's really common for the minute parents to come in, for the kid to melt down. It's as if, they've behaved for as long as they can and they can finally just melt....

I have high expectations for behaviro with my daycare kids as well as my own 2-yr old. And, my 2-yr old is extremely well behaved, but I always joke with the parents that she's my most-misbehaving one. Of course, when she goes to the babysitter's house, she's perfect for her.