Am I The Only One? (Vent)

[daycare]

Am I the only one that feels like no matter how much I communicate with parents, I just can't get them to follow through or take note of what the heck is going on.


I am not even open yet and I already want to close.

It's one of those days that every little thing is BUGGING ME.

I have been telling my first drop off for about 2 weeks now that if they are not going to drop on time, let me know or I am changing their drop off time to the time that they have been dropping off. They are supposed to be here at 7am, they have been showing at 730 or later. I have been busting my behind to RUN home from the gym so that I can be set and ready to go by 7am, only to have to sit and wait. My legs hate me right now.

Every Friday, Check your child's CUBBY...... maybe one parent does it and then the reminders and fees go out. I don't want to turn people away, I don't want to charge loaner fees, JUST bring your stuff already.

It has been EVERY WHERE that we will be closed 3 days next week for over a month, in the news letter and in the beginning of the year list of dates closed. A parent called me last night LVM saying that they wanted to see if DCK could come early on WED and TH next week. WE ARE NOT OPEN!!!!!


I know I have a funny accent, I am not hard to understand I swear. What else can I do but send people away without the right supplies, charge late fees, communicate like no tomorrow and enforce all my policies in my PHB.

as someone else said is it 530 yet????

[Blackcat31]

((((hugs)))) It isn't 5:30 yet but it IS Friday.

[daycare]

((((hugs)))) It isn't 5:30 yet but it IS Friday.

BC I tell you. I have you in my thoughts when stuff like this happens. I say to myself what would BC do......

Perhaps the holidays are just keeping the parents focused on other things. IDK.

yes it is friday and my family is all here. My sister just got here last night and my parents have not to see her in many years, so we should have a fun time.

Instead of 530, I am going to call it beer-thirty. even though I don't drink beer...

[Blackcat31]

Glad I am the voice of reason in someone's head... :: Mine just keeps telling me to "Shhh!"

You know, one of the easiest ways to not get stressed or overwhelmed about stuff like this is to stop owing things that aren't yours to own.

Stop taking on responsibility that belongs to someone else.

For example, the family that shows up late... Just do what you normally do. Open on time and be ready for the day. If they don't show up on time it's THEIR money and time that was wasted not yours. Even if you ran home from the gym at lightspeed, it only bothers you because they didn't show up...if they had shown up on time, what would the difference be...kwim?

You are still paid to be on the clock either way. If you are having to hurry home, then adjust YOUR time so you don't have to hurry. It's one of those things that we allow to bother us simply because the family was late so really you CHOOSE to allow that to bother you. It's their issue. They lost time they paid for at daycare.

As for the ones who think you are open on holidays...well when they text or ask you if they can drop off early say something like "Please read your contract." Don't over explain, don't elaborate, don't feed into THEIR issue.

You supplied them with notice of your time off. If THEY cannot read, comprehend and/or follow that notice then that's on THEM.

You requested supplies and someone didn't bring them....then yes, you have to turn them away at the door. Remember if YOU don't follow your rules/policies then why should they?
If the requested items were not a big deal and something that the child doesn't actually need, then let the child go without. Then make sure to tell the parent that their child missed out on something because THEY didn't bring the requested items. The child might feel sad or upset but not because you failed to cover for their parent but because the parent couldn't prioritize for their child.

All too many parents skip out on things because they KNOW that someone else (teacher, provider etc) will make up for it because we are such warm, caring nurturing people....kwim?

Well, I am one provider that won't make up for parental shortcomings. Part of my role is to teach the child personal responsibility but I can't model that for them if I continue to make up for the times their parents don't take any.

This is one of the reasons I have very little issues with my daycare parents. Because I am cold and uncaring. No not really....I do care and I care a lot but just because I care it doesn't mean I HAVE to make up for a parent's forgetfulness or accept a parents disrespect. I refuse to own something that belongs to someone else. Once you are clear about YOUR responsibility and THIER responsibility, it is super simply and very easy to manage.

It's a fine line between wanting to please parents so that you continue to have clients but at the same time YOU have to decide what is more valuable to YOU. Clients and income or happiness and clients that agree to follow your rules and policies (INCLUDING consequences for not following them).

Once YOU decide which side of the line you are on, the rest falls into place.

That is the ONE consistency between providers who seem to have little or no issues with this profession. Yes, I value money but I value my personal happiness and stress levels MORE.

[kathiemarie]

That's how I felt yesterday. It was wet out so we couldn't go outside, (I live by the beach in so. California and we only get maybe 10 days a year of rain), one of my DC kids was wearing a superman t-shirt and want to paly super hero ALL day. (I had to make him change his shirt and I have told mom in the past not to have him wear it.) fighting over everything. It was bad. I had a gift cert. for a message so I went a got one. I feel sooo much better today. Deep breaths Daycare... Deep Breaths! only 8.5 hours!

[BrooklynM]

I use the Daily Connect app and that is the first place I always send a message to parents. When the baby is low on diapers, I add a message to Daily Connect app when the child only has about 3-4 days worth of diapers left. If I remember, I mention it at pick up. Next day if they don't bring diapers, then I take a sharpie and write a note on their last diaper of the day that is ON the baby. The next morning I set myself an alarm reminder to send that parent a text to remember diapers before they leave their house.

The most effective thing is to write a note on the diaper itself because they will be changing that diaper at home and can set aside diapers right then and there to bring the next day.

Hope that helps!

[daycare]

I use the Daily Connect app and that is the first place I always send a message to parents. When the baby is low on diapers, I add a message to Daily Connect app when the child only has about 3-4 days worth of diapers left. If I remember, I mention it at pick up. Next day if they don't bring diapers, then I take a sharpie and write a note on their last diaper of the day that is ON the baby. The next morning I set myself an alarm reminder to send that parent a text to remember diapers before they leave their house.

The most effective thing is to write a note on the diaper itself because they will be changing that diaper at home and can set aside diapers right then and there to bring the next day.

Hope that helps!

my diapers are in the bathroom, not within parents reach. I send out a text and email reminding them and still NOTHING. Oh, I even have a sign posted that says, Reminder

Does your child have enough supplies for the week:

diapers
wipes
clothing
jacket
etc

[daycarediva]

I use the Daily Connect app and that is the first place I always send a message to parents. When the baby is low on diapers, I add a message to Daily Connect app when the child only has about 3-4 days worth of diapers left. If I remember, I mention it at pick up. Next day if they don't bring diapers, then I take a sharpie and write a note on their last diaper of the day that is ON the baby. The next morning I set myself an alarm reminder to send that parent a text to remember diapers before they leave their house.

The most effective thing is to write a note on the diaper itself because they will be changing that diaper at home and can set aside diapers right then and there to bring the next day.

Hope that helps!

That is SOOO much extra work! I put it on their sheets a few days in advance (and try to make it on a Friday, so that it can be purchased over the weekend) if they don't show with it, I refuse care.

I have refused care for 7 out of the 8 families currently enrolled ONCE. It only has to happen ONCE for them to get it, in my experience!

[Blackcat31]

That is SOOO much extra work! I put it on their sheets a few days in advance (and try to make it on a Friday, so that it can be purchased over the weekend) if they don't show with it, I refuse care.

I have refused care for 7 out of the 8 families currently enrolled ONCE. It only has to happen ONCE for them to get it, in my experience!

I agree. I refuse to make more work for me by having to do so many reminders.

Usually the refusal of services "fixes" the issue immediately and it RARELY if ever occurs again.

[daycare]

Glad I am the voice of reason in someone's head... :: Mine just keeps telling me to "Shhh!"

You know, one of the easiest ways to not get stressed or overwhelmed about stuff like this is to stop owing things that aren't yours to own.

Stop taking on responsibility that belongs to someone else.

For example, the family that shows up late... Just do what you normally do. Open on time and be ready for the day. If they don't show up on time it's THEIR money and time that was wasted not yours. Even if you ran home from the gym at lightspeed, it only bothers you because they didn't show up...if they had shown up on time, what would the difference be...kwim?

You are still paid to be on the clock either way. If you are having to hurry home, then adjust YOUR time so you don't have to hurry. It's one of those things that we allow to bother us simply because the family was late so really you CHOOSE to allow that to bother you. It's their issue. They lost time they paid for at daycare.

As for the ones who think you are open on holidays...well when they text or ask you if they can drop off early say something like "Please read your contract." Don't over explain, don't elaborate, don't feed into THEIR issue.

You supplied them with notice of your time off. If THEY cannot read, comprehend and/or follow that notice then that's on THEM.

You requested supplies and someone didn't bring them....then yes, you have to turn them away at the door. Remember if YOU don't follow your rules/policies then why should they?
If the requested items were not a big deal and something that the child doesn't actually need, then let the child go without. Then make sure to tell the parent that their child missed out on something because THEY didn't bring the requested items. The child might feel sad or upset but not because you failed to cover for their parent but because the parent couldn't prioritize for their child.

All too many parents skip out on things because they KNOW that someone else (teacher, provider etc) will make up for it because we are such warm, caring nurturing people....kwim?

Well, I am one provider that won't make up for parental shortcomings. Part of my role is to teach the child personal responsibility but I can't model that for them if I continue to make up for the times their parents don't take any.

This is one of the reasons I have very little issues with my daycare parents. Because I am cold and uncaring. No not really....I do care and I care a lot but just because I care it doesn't mean I HAVE to make up for a parent's forgetfulness or accept a parents disrespect. I refuse to own something that belongs to someone else. Once you are clear about YOUR responsibility and THIER responsibility, it is super simply and very easy to manage.

It's a fine line between wanting to please parents so that you continue to have clients but at the same time YOU have to decide what is more valuable to YOU. Clients and income or happiness and clients that agree to follow your rules and policies (INCLUDING consequences for not following them).

Once YOU decide which side of the line you are on, the rest falls into place.

That is the ONE consistency between providers who seem to have little or no issues with this profession. Yes, I value money but I value my personal happiness and stress levels MORE.

I do agree with what you are saying. I am just really having a hard time accepting the fact that I agree to one thing and then the parents NO MATTER what I do parents try to change it.

I agree that I should just be ready to go, but I would really like to know what time I have to start work daily KWIM??? I have kids too and sometimes I could have helped them in situations, like when my sons car broke down, I could have picked them up. BUT I couldn't because I was sitting for 45 minutes waiting for this family to come.

Perhaps the holiday stress is getting to me too and maybe I am just not feeling as flexible as I normally am....

Thanks for always reminding me how to find peace. It's nice to see your perspective when I can only see one side......

[melilley]

Haha, so I'm not the only one who wonders what others on this forum would do in a situation.

My biggest problem is that I have Fun Friday's. Only one, sometimes two families participate if it's something that they have to bring from home. Then all the kids fight over what the one child (or two) brings, then I have to put it up, well actually the dcb asks me to put it up... If parents would just read my newsletters and/or look at my calendar that lists every event, that is right by the entrance, then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I also say/think things in my head all the time about a certain parent that I have. She just irks me to no end, but nothing really to term over.

I wish it was beer thirty! Today has been one heck of a day!

[Blackcat31]

I do agree with what you are saying. I am just really having a hard time accepting the fact that I agree to one thing and then the parents NO MATTER what I do parents try to change it.

I agree that I should just be ready to go, but I would really like to know what time I have to start work daily KWIM??? I have kids too and sometimes I could have helped them in situations, like when my sons car broke down, I could have picked them up. BUT I couldn't because I was sitting for 45 minutes waiting for this family to come.

Perhaps the holiday stress is getting to me too and maybe I am just not feeling as flexible as I normally am....

Thanks for always reminding me how to find peace. It's nice to see your perspective when I can only see one side......

But that is exactly what I am talking about. You can't change other people so you change yourself.

You have to stop thinking about what time you are physically starting work as in "having a child present". You have to view it like you ARE on the clock whether a daycare child is present or not.

When you think about all the things you could be doing instead, you are the one sabotaging yourself then. You can't have that frame of mind when you are technically "on the clock".

On the clock with a daycare kid actually there and on the clock when a parent is late is still on the clock.

Either way you would not be able to assist your son because you are technically working.

[daycare]

Haha, so I'm not the only one who wonders what others on this forum would do in a situation.

My biggest problem is that I have Fun Friday's. Only one, sometimes two families participate if it's something that they have to bring from home. Then all the kids fight over what the one child (or two) brings, then I have to put it up, well actually the dcb asks me to put it up... If parents would just read my newsletters and/or look at my calendar that lists every event, that is right by the entrance, then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I also say/think things in my head all the time about a certain parent that I have. She just irks me to no end, but nothing really to term over.

I wish it was beer thirty! Today has been one heck of a day!

I think that I figured out why I am in such a mood.

The holiday is close and I am really really needing that OFF time and it just is not coming fast enough........... ****S

[daycare]

But that is exactly what I am talking about. You can't change other people so you change yourself.

You have to stop thinking about what time you are physically starting work as in "having a child present". You have to view it like you ARE on the clock whether a daycare child is present or not.

When you think about all the things you could be doing instead, you are the one sabotaging yourself then. You can't have that frame of mind when you are technically "on the clock".

On the clock with a daycare kid actually there and on the clock when a parent is late is still on the clock.

Either way you would not be able to assist your son because you are technically working.

I hate it when your right...........

very good point........

gosh I am grumpy today

[Blackcat31]

Haha, so I'm not the only one who wonders what others on this forum would do in a situation.

My biggest problem is that I have Fun Friday's. Only one, sometimes two families participate if it's something that they have to bring from home. Then all the kids fight over what the one child (or two) brings, then I have to put it up, well actually the dcb asks me to put it up... If parents would just read my newsletters and/or look at my calendar that lists every event, that is right by the entrance, then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I also say/think things in my head all the time about a certain parent that I have. She just irks me to no end, but nothing really to term over.

I wish it was beer thirty! Today has been one heck of a day!

Personally what I would do in your case is have two activities. One for the children who came prepared and one for the kids that didn't.

Remember the way schools handled field trips.... kids that didn't bring permission slips or the requested fees stayed back at the school and did something else while the kids who were prepared to go went.

If I were you, I would then make a HUGE deal to the parents about how much fun the kids who were prepared had and how you hope next time they remember to send Billy with the requested items.

Parents won't ever change their behaviors if they KNOW and COUNT on the fact that you (or whoever) will always be available to make up for their short comings. If their kid misses out on something because they didn't do as asked, they SHOULD feel bad. Bad enough that they remember the next time.

You can drink beer 'til the cows come home but things won't change in daycareland unless providers change their way of thinking and/or methods in which they handle these types of things.